The Haunting
by StarOfTheDesert
Summary: By chance, L finds a girl unconcious in the forest beside Wammy's House. He carries her to the orphanage to take care of her until she wakes up. However, he gets more than he bargained for, since she isn't even human.
1. Chapter 1

The sky began to shriek. Lightning echoed around the room, as suddenly, the lights went out. The room grew red as the emergency lights kicked in.

"W-what's happening?" Matsuda asked. "A Power cut?"

I didn't answer, just turned around, instinctively. Sure enough, Rem wasn't there anymore.

"Damn!" I thought, running to the back of the room to make sure she wasn't there. However, there was no doubt. She was gone, and she was up to something. I felt a shiver of fear run down my back as I turned to the screens once again.

"Watari." Ryuuzaki said, and I heard the ring of worry in his voice. "Watari!"

"All data deletion?" I gasped, as the words appeared in all the screens. This was bad, bad, bad. And still, thunder rang around the room.

"I instructed Watari to delete all the data if something were to happen to him." Ryuuzaki explained, and I felt the chill of fear in his voice. I knew what was coming, and so did he. And there was nothing we could do to stop it, except hope… I ran out of the room, shouting.

"Rem!? Rem, where are you? Don't do it, please, don't do it!"

She appeared in front of me, with a terribly sorrowful expression on her face.

"He won. I'm sorry, Nilla. Please forgive me." The Note was on her hand. I snatched it from her, and in the red light, I saw it. On the notebook was written the name L Lawliett.

"No…" I whispered, in complete shock. "How could you?"

"Please take care of Misa for me. That is my request." She whispered, and disappeared.

"Rem! No! this wasn't what we wanted! I understand now… and this is wrong! Completely wrong!"

There was no answer, and suddenly, I felt Death's touch upon my shoulder.  
I ran back to the room where everyone was, and arrived just as the great L was falling.

I lunged forward, but Light was faster than me. He caught Lawliett in his arms. I jumped over him and positioned myself on L's other side and knelt on the floor.

"L… Ryuuzaki… Get a hold of yourself!" I said in half a whisper, half a desperate shriek. "L…"

The light in his eyes was fading, even as he kept on fighting for his life. I could see it, the way he was trying to keep himself alive. His eyes focused on me for a last time, and there was the faintest movement on his lips.

"No.. no…" I put my hand in his and closed my eyes, concentrating on giving him energy as I had done many times before. There was just a faint flicker in his eyes that then began to die away, like the rest of him. "No…" His head shifted slightly, and I gasped. Reflected in his now lifeless eyes was the most terrible smile I had ever seen, full of hatred, venom and evil, in Yagami Light's face.

Light was Kira. There was absolutely no doubt about it anymore.

As this knowledge sunk in, L seemed to relax. His head moved a little again, and from this angle his eyes didn't reflect Light's expression any more. His eyes became completely lifeless, and for the last time, his lids closed over them.

"No… no… no…" I whispered once again, as tears began to flow freely down my face. Absolutely no coherent thought went through my head. This was impossible… Impossible!

"Oi, Ryuuzaki… what's the matter? Get a hold of yourself!" Light shouted, shaking L a little. All at once, I became so angry my whole body was shaking.

Light began to scream.

"Watari, Ryuuzaki, and now us! We're all going to be killed!"

Aizawa fell to the floor in a panic, and Matsuda began to whimper as an expression of panic appeared in Chief Yagami's face.

Light began shouting something about the Shinigami, but I paid no attention. I was trying to organize my thoughts. I couldn't accuse Light of being Kira without proof. I needed a plan.

Suddenly, Light ran off to look for Rem. I bent down and kissed Lawliett's forehead tenderly, then jumped up and ran behind Light. I followed him, leaving some distance between us. I made absolutely no noise, and he didn't seem to notice I was behind him. He went inside a room.

It was strange, there was a pile of silver sand in the middle, and half buried in it was a notebook. Rem's Death Note, I guessed. Light picked it up, cleaned off the sand, and was about to hide the notebook in the back of his pants when he spotted me.

"Nilla." He said my name calmly, but knew that, with a wrong move here, he would be caught.

"I know you're Kira, Light." I said, stopping at a safe distance from him. "I was worried I couldn't prove it, but now you've given me all I needed. I must thank you."

"Me? Kira? What are you saying?" Light put on a mask of shock. "You are Kira. It is no secret you were a good friend of the Shinigami's, and quite close to L too. In fact, Matsuda, my father, Aizawa and I already suspected you of being Kira a long time ago. The only one that didn't was L himself. However, whenever any of us touched the subject with him, he always just said it wasn't you, without giving his usual brainy explanations. We guessed it was because he was so attached to you he knew you were Kira, but was looking for someone else to blame. Too bad it led him to his death." Light shrugged. "You are a murderer, Nilla. You are Kira."

I was left speechless. The bastard had been preparing this for a long time… There was no doubt about it. He had planted suspicions of me in the others' minds, and I knew I had helped, in my foolish intent to keep my true nature hidden. The only ones that knew about me were L and Rem. Not even Watari knew, L had promised he wouldn't breathe a word.

I felt the knife L had given me in my pocket. He didn't give it to me with a murderous intent. What he had wanted was to please me, since it was so beautiful. The hilt was decorated in leather, and there were delicate patterns of dragons in the blade. It was ornamental, but also quite deadly. I analyzed my options. I could jump Light and kill him right here, right now, condemning myself for all eternity. I could try to convince the others I wasn't Kira, but I knew Light was too smart for me. It hurt to admit it, but although I wasn't stupid, I wasn't a genius like him either. He could only be battled by someone on his own level, and I knew I wasn't there. My third option, and the smartest one, was to go back to the orphanage Watari had founded and try to unite Mello and Near. That was the only chance humanity had. I turned and ran to the door, but just then the others appeared.

"What… what is this? Sand?" Matsuda asked, spotting the strange mound on the floor.

"I don't know. Why don't we ask Nilla, since she seems to have all the answers?" Light asked, pointedly. "Don't you, Nilla?"

I turned to him angrily.

"I don't know what you are talking about. Now, if you excuse me, I want to go back to Ryuuzaki."

I tried to go out the door, but Aizawa-san's arm blocked the doorway.

"Aizawa-san, please let me through."

"I don't think so, Nilla. You have some explaining to do." His voice was serious, with no hint of the playfulness he usually treated me with.

"Aizawa-san..." I began, but Chief Yagami interrupted me.

"Nilla, you cannot hide it any longer. We know you are Kira, and that you ordered the Shinigami to kill Ryuuzaki and Watari." The sadness and disappointment in Yagami-san's voice was terrible to me.

"But… Yagami-san… I didn't do it! I'm not Kira…"

Yagami-san just shook his head.

"You ran after the Shinigami. I know, I saw you and I followed. You said that you understood what you were doing was wrong… I know you didn't want Ryuuzaki to be killed, but that doesn't erase the fact that he is dead, and so are other people. I don't know what deal you made with the Shinigami, but it seems she abandoned you."

"Yagami-san, you got it all wrong…"

"I refused to believe you were Kira, Nilla-san." Matsuda said sadly. "However, it seems Light-kun was right. Everything you did, every day, seemed very suspicious, and the few talks I overheard with that Shinigami…" Matsuda couldn't say more.

"But…"

"I refuse to believe she is Kira." Light said. "There is not enough proof for that. However, we must look for it in her apartment. She must have a Death Note there, so I suggest we look for it tomorrow morning."

"Why in the morning?" Matsuda asked.

"Right now, we are too tired and we had a hard day. We best do it when we're in complete control of our senses. Nilla… I really hope you are not Kira." Light put his hands on my shoulders in what seemed to be a reassuring manner. However I knew he was condemning me. I had to get out. He was going to plant the Death Note on my apartment, I knew. I was going to be accused of being Kira and executed.

Aizawa grabbed me by the shoulder.

"Come. I'm going to lock you in for the night."

Feeling faint and depressed, I did absolutely nothing to stop him.


	2. The Orphanage

I don't own Death Note. However, I own Nilla, Liam, Liz, and most of the other orphans in Wammy's house except Matt, Mello and Near.

Hope you like my story. Please review and tell me if you like it, if it sucks, if it's boring, or just to say hi. Thanks!

The rain beat my window, and I sighed, laying down on the bed. The rain always made me nostalgic.

It was three days after Lawliett's death, and I was still locked inside the room. It was small, with a bed, a chair and a door that led to an equally small bathroom. The walls were white, and completely plain. Not so much as a picture for decoration. On the wall furthest from the door, there was a single window. It was big, but no human can jump from the thirtieth floor of a building. Aizawa came in once a day to leave a tray of food, which I mostly left untouched. I was completely depressed.

As soon as I was left alone on that terrible night, the strength of L's death had hit me full force. I broke down completely, not caring if Light saw me through the cameras and tried to convince everyone I was acting. I didn't care then, not even if I died. After three days of intensive thinking, the wound didn't hurt any less, but at least I cared for my life. I wanted revenge. I was going to pay him back, even if it destroyed me. I didn't care.

I stood up and tried to pace, but the room was too little. I threw myself down in frustration and took my iPod from my pocket. It had no more battery left, just the emergency to preserve the contents of memory. I wanted to ask Aizawa for my cable to connect to the electricity, but my iPod didn't only contain music. It had an important data backup from L's computer, which he trusted me enough to keep. I had never looked at it, as I had promised. If Light saw it, he might take it from me and steal the information.

I emptied my pockets, looking for something to get out of here. I only found the knife, chewing gum and my head phones. I sighed, and decided to cheer myself up thinking about L. It was depressing to know that I would never see him again, that I hadn't been able to save him. I decided to relive the moments, at least some, I had with him.

"Hi!" the girl said brightly, smiling down on me. "Who are you?"

"Huh?"

I blinked and took in my surroundings. It was a brightly lit room, and the sunshine poured in through a huge window on my right. I was lying in an extremely comfortable bed, and the girl smiling at me, I saw, was incredibly pretty.

"Where am I?" I asked, sitting up.

"At Wammy's house. It's an orphanage for special kids. Namely, geniuses." She answered proudly.

"Are you a genius?" I asked curiously.

The girl shook her head. "That would be my big brother, Liam." She smiled. "I'm Liz! What's your name?"

"I… I don't know…" I said, her cheerful voice made me a little dizzy.

"How come you don't know?" she asked, slightly puzzled.

"I… I don't know."

She frowned at me, and went out of the room.

She came back pulling a slim man by the hand.

"Could she have amnesia?" Liz was asking the man, who walked with a slouch and bore a look of complete disinterest on his face. He had black hair that stuck out in any direction known to man, and his face was computer pale. He was very skinny, and wore extremely baggy pants and shirt. He was cute. I liked him on sight.

"Well, I don't know." He said, scratching his head. "She might have. It did seem as though she had hit her head."

I frowned.

"Someone please explain what's going on here." I crossed my arms over my chest, expectantly, and then noticed my clothes. I was wearing the exact same ones as the guy with black hair. "Are these the standard uniforms around here?"

Liz laughed.

"No. We're in an orphanage for kids. No other clothes but Ryuuzaki's could fit you. The ones you arrived in were shredded." She explained.

"Ok. And who changed my clothes?" I asked, blushing a little.

"The other girls and I did it. Ryuuzaki wanted to help, but we wouldn't let him." Liz dug an elbow in Ryuuzaki's ribs, who flinched and stuck a thumb in his mouth.

"I was worried she would be too big for you to handle." He shrugged. I couldn't help it. I laughed.

"Ok, fair enough. Still, could you please tell me how I got here? I really can't remember a single thing before I woke up." It was scary, not knowing who I was, where I was, where I came from, or even my age, though Liz said I looked seventeen or eighteen.

"Well, Ryuuzaki carried you here. He found you lying on the forest behind Wammy's house. You have been sleeping for three days." Liz explained, cheerful as ever.

"Three days?!" I asked, completely surprised. "And don't you think it's weird to find a girl lying in the forest and then taking her home?"

"Not really. In this house, it seems as if everything was possible. Just wait until you meet everyone. You'll see what I mean."

"But…" Just then, my stomach growled. "I'm hungry…"

Liz laughed.

"I bet you are. Let's go get breakfast!" she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of bed, dragging both Ryuuzaki and me to the kitchen. "Let me call May. She's the cook here." She said, and bounded back out the door.

She went out.

"I don't need a cook." Ryuuzaki said, opening a door and grabbed a huge cake. He got a pair of pates and cut me a slice. I was about to dig in when Liz came in with another girl.

"No, you don't!" she scolded. "You don't want to catch Ryuuzaki's habits. Some kids around here couldn't escape them, like Mello, who can't eat anything but chocolate now. Still, I'm still on time to save YOU. You want sweets, you need something healthy first." And I said goodbye to my cake. She tried to take Ryuuzaki's, too, but he stopped her with just a look. She shrugged and introduced me to the other girl.

"This is May." She seemed to be twelve years old, and had honey-coloured eyes and hair. She looked very shy, but the moment she began to cook, she seemed to be a completely different person. She cut, stirred, and did everything so fast and with such precision I seemed to be in the presence of a goddess.

"Amazing!" I breathed.

"That's nothing. Wait until you taste it." Liz said proudly as May put an omelette in front of me. I tried it. I have no words to describe it. She was truly a prodigy.

"You have to teach me to do this." I said with pleading eyes. She nodded, and I realised I hadn't heard her say a single word yet. It turned out she was very shy, and rarely talked. I heard her voice two weeks later, when she said goodbye as I left Wammy's house.

After breakfast, Liz introduced me to everyone. There were many kids with different talents. They were all incredibly nice, and I liked them instantly. At least, most of them. However, there were a few that were special to me. Liz, of course, was one, since she was the first I met. There was a white haired kid everyone called Near, and one of "L's possible successors", whatever that meant. I met Mello, the chocolate-munching monster Liz told me about earlier. He also was one of those "successors". My favourite was another kid named Matt. He invited me to play videogames with him. At first, he beat me completely, but I quickly caught on. He later said I was the best opponent he ever had. Lastly, there was Liz's older brother, Liam. He was quiet at first, but once you got to know him he told the best stories I've ever heard. I learnt about ogres, fairies, faraway wars, dragons. He even gave me a name, since no one else did. They just called me "You, amnesia girl" or something like that.

"You need a name." Liam told me as he finished one of his wonderful stories.

"I know, but no one gives me one and I can't think of one to suit me." I said in frustration.

"I could give you one." He said, looking at me in the eye. His eyes were a beautiful electric blue. I nodded and he smiled. "Then, you'll be Nilla."

My eyes opened wide and I found myself smiling in delight. I loved it. I nodded happily. From that day on, I was known as Nilla.


	3. Discovery

There! Today's chapter! Lots of thanks to Cursa for being the best beta reader ever. If you like it, please review! It's nice to know someone appreciates one's work. :)

It was more than ten days after Ryuuzaki's death. I hadn't seen anyone except Aizawa, who didn't talk to me but brought me the Bonsai L gave me and my iPod charger. I was grateful. I didn't want it to lose more battery or the contents might be erased. I knew nothing of how the investigation was getting on, since they worked in a completely different floor. It was really making me nervous.

Once more, the rain sang to me. It was a melancholic tune, that reminded me of my sorrows and the happiness past. I curled into a ball and closed my eyes, trying to sleep.

The door opened, and Light came in. He was smiling. I instantly jumped up.

"What do you want, Kira?" I asked, my voice full of venom.

"Nilla, why do you treat me like that when I just came to pay you a friendly visit?" he asked, acting hurt. He closed the door and locked it behind him.

"I don't believe a single word you say." I growled. He just smiled broadly.

"I'm sorry. I came to deliver bad news. We found a journal where you wrote all about your plans as Kira. It is your handwriting, and it has your fingerprints all over it. I'm sorry, Nilla, but tomorrow, you're going to be taken to jail. You are going to be executed." Light sighed. "How could you do such a despicable thing? How could you kill two men that trusted you so much? But I believe Karma set you right, since you've been found out. That's so sad." He laughed.

"Where are Matsuda and the others?" I asked, angrily.

"They're gone. We're moving out of this building, since it isn't ours. It was L's. Or should I say, L Lawliett's?"

"You bastard. You read his name in Rem's Death Note!" It felt wrong to have Light say L's name. I was getting angrier and angrier.

"Can you believe he actually considered me a friend? What a pitiable fool." Light gave me a sly grin. "But I won in the end."

I took my knife out and held it ready in my hand.

"One more word, Light… One more word…" I warned through clenched teeth.

"Oh. Would you kill me? You know what it would do to you." At last, I saw the trap. I dropped the knife as if it burned me.

"You are pure evil. I swear I'm going to get revenge." I gave him an ugly look. "I'll make sure you are stopped."

"How? You are going to be executed in less than a week, or at least we'll try, and there's no way you can get out of here. I know your secret. I know your limitations. The rules of this game do nothing but help me win. You're doomed, Nilla." He began to laugh.

I smiled.

"That is not so, Light. If you know what I am, you know you cannot kill me."

"I have plans for you. Plans you can't even imagine."

I bent down and picked up the knife. I sheathed it and put it back in my deep pocket. "I still have a card up my sleeve."

"Really? What is it?"

"Just this." I grabbed the chair by the door and threw it at the window. If I had been a normal human, I wouldn't have been able to do anything. However, I used some of the strength Rem told me I had. The window shattered.

"What are you…" Light began, then lunged at me. I broke free from him and climbed into the sill, some of the pieces of glass cutting my bare feet. I made sure I had my iPod and my knife, both precious to me because they were gifts from him.

"Goodbye, Light." I smiled at him. "Enjoy your last tastes of freedom." I jumped.

I hoped Rem's theory had been right. She said that since Shinigami had wings, my kind had them, too. However, there was a high chance they weren't usable in the human world. Still, it was my last chance.

I concentrated on the wings as the floor grew closer and closer. Nothing appeared.

"God… I'm going to die… I'm going to die…" I thought, bracing myself. "Give me wings… Give me wings… I know what Icarus felt like as he fell towards his death…"

I concentrated as hard as I could, and at last, felt the wings sprouting from my back. I didn't really know how to use them, though, so all they could do was slow down my fall. However, it was not enough. I fell on the concrete and bounced a few times, the momentum of my short-lived glide making me tumble forward. When I stopped, I felt the pain full force. I had wounds all over my body, and had left a bloody trail on the floor. Nothing too serious, but I had to run. Light could come out looking for me.

I ran away all night. I didn't know how I got the energy to do it. Maybe it was the panic of being caught. The next day, as soon as the banks opened, I walked inside one resolutely. My wounds hadn't completely healed yet, and my clothes were torn. However, that didn't bother me. I took out some money from a hidden account of L's. He had given me the number, just in case, and I was extremely grateful for it. After that, I went to a store and purchased a cell phone. I was going to need it later. Not yet, though.

I bought some new clothes and shoes since people on the street were giving me weird looks. I was attracting too much attention. With that done, I could begin the makeover that could save my life, or at least my staying in this realm. I wouldn't let Light find me… not for anything in this world.

I went into a beauty salon and had them cut and paint my hair. Its original, natural colour was a dark brown, with a few reddish strands the colour of maple leaves in autumn that were visible only under the sunlight. On one side of my forehead, I had a small streak of pale hair that looked blonde. It was barely noticeable, since it was of only a few strands. I remembered how L used to make fun of my hair, in that serious way of his. I admit it was unusual, but it was really pretty. He used to like it a lot. I sighed as I emerged from the salon with a new haircut and yellow-coloured hair. I felt like Misa. I felt a pang of pain as I thought of Rem's sacrifice. I was furious at her for falling for Light's trap and not keeping our agreement, but still, I considered her a friend. I understood her panic and her desire to protect someone loved. I would take care of Misa if I could, would even go out of my way to do so, but not risk my life for her. I felt that was fair enough, specially since I'd never liked much.

After that, I bought blue contact lenses and a pair of glasses. I couldn't believe just how different I looked, although I missed my old outer self.

"They probably will investigate Watari and find the ties that lead to Wammy's House. I should probably not contact anybody for at least two weeks. Light will find the place fast. Luckily, Roger can be trusted to throw him off track." I thought as I checked into a hotel under an alias L had set up for me. "I guess I'll stay here for a couple of weeks, without going out. It might be the safest plan."

I went inside my room and collapsed on the bed. I was exhausted. I hoped Light wouldn't find me… It would mean certain death.

It was irritating. No matter how nice I was, I wasn't able to get any information on Ryuuzaki. When I asked the children about it, they always changed the topic or worse, ignored me. Therefore, I tried to get the information from the source itself, Ryuuzaki. However, he didn't say much, and what he said wasn't of much use. I gave up.

"Honestly, Liam. Why are they so secretive about Ryuuzaki? Is he a serial killer or something?" I complained, sitting down beside Liam, who was reading on the stairs. He sighed.

"I would recommend that you stop asking, Nilla. They'll tell you when they're ready, so stop pestering them."

"Pestering? I'm curious! I live with him! Why shouldn't I ask about why is a grown man living on an orphanage, or what he does for a living, or… If he has a girlfriend." I muttered the last part.

"You look eighteen, yet you act twelve." Liam smiled at me. "I don't know if it's annoying or charming."

"Stop teasing me." I smiled. "You look fourteen and act forty. That's worse. I'll always be a child at heart."

"A bratty child at heart." Corrected Liam. I laughed and hugged him.

"I like you a lot, Liam. Thanks for being so patient."

"It'll be worth it as soon as you learn to cook like May. I'll be able to ask you to cook anything for me, and I know you won't refuse." He smiled evilly.

"I'll refuse if I want to." I crossed my arms over my chest, an insulted expression on my face, though I was having fun.

"I guess I won't tell you more stories, then." Liam said with a sigh.

"That's evil."

"I know."

We stood up, and talked all the way to the garden. Other kids were playing there, and Ryuuzaki sat on a chair, a laptop computer on his lap. He typed while he observed the children, a small smile on his face. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

"Don't think about him." Liam whispered in my ear. "Just have fun."

"Ok." I took a deep breath as Tom, a small six-year old approached me with a ball.

For the next forty minutes I played like a puppy with the children. I was happy, it was great fun. I really acted twelve.

We began to play "let's see who can catch Nilla". Since my legs were longer, they couldn't catch me and they were becoming frustrated. At last, Tom couldn't take it any longer and went to Ryuuzaki.

"Ryuuzaki, help me catch her." He said, tugging on his sleeve.

"Form a team and think of how to catch her." Ryuuzaki said, turning to his computer screen.

"Please." Tom implored.

"Leave him, Tom. He's just scared. He wouldn't be able to catch me in a million years." I taunted.

Ryuuzaki raised his head and looked at me with a completely different expression in his eyes, one of detached calculation.

"Now you've done it." Liam whispered, appearing beside me. "If there is one thing Ryuuzaki can't resist are challenges. And once he accepts one, he never loses."

"Well, he'll lose this one." I said, loudly. Ryuuzaki closed the computer slowly and stood up, his shoulders hunched in his usual fashion.

"I'll give you a five second head start." He said, in a low, dangerous voice.

"I don't need it." I complained, but he had started counting.

"This isn't pretty." Liam said. "You better run and don't stop."

A chill ran down my spine and I began to run for my life. After a few seconds, I heard Ryuuzaki's powerful strides behind me. The children cheered, some for me, others for him. I kept on running, never looking back.

Beside the orphanage was a small forest. The children loved to play in it, since it was full of insects, small animals, and dreams they hunted down with patience. I loved to be there because I loved the trees. They seemed to talk to me, and to give me energy. Whenever I was near a tree, I felt reborn. It is to this forest I escaped to, Ryuuzaki on my heels. As soon as I entered it, I felt the energy pouring from the trees give me a shock, and I was able to run faster. If this kept up, I might even outrun him!

I turned my head a little, trying to see him. Since I didn't see where I was going, I tripped on a root and was sent flying.

"Ugh" I groaned as all the air left my lungs. This was karma. Definitely karma. And karma was about to get worse. Ryuuzaki landed on me. Boy, for suck a slim guy, he was heavy. I couldn't breathe.

However, he seemed aware of my situation because he got off me. I rolled over so I was facing up, although I didn't get up.

"Are you ok?" Ryuuzaki asked, concerned.

"Yeah, thanks. You?" I answered when the air returned to my lungs.

"I'm fine." He began to stand up but sat down hard on the ground instead.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I asked as I sat up in alarm.

"My knee hurts." He said, examining it with detached interest. It didn't look good. It was bloody, and he had peeled a lot of skin on the fall. It looked really painful, but I couldn't tell by the expressionless look on his face.

"Let me look at it."

I sat down beside Ryuuzaki and extended his leg over my lap. I observed the wound and pressed it firmly with a finger. He flinched in pain, but I didn't withdraw the finger and he didn't pull away. It was as if someone else had taken over my body. I felt energy running down my finger and saw how the wound healed almost instantly, as if by magic.

"Wow." I whispered, amazed. Ryuuzaki's eyes were wide with surprise, his mouth slightly open. In a few seconds, his wound was completely gone.

"How…" he whispered.

"I don't know." I said, pulling away from him. That definitely wasn't something a normal human would do. Was he going to be repelled by me? Was he going to kick me out of Wammy's house, or burn me at the stake like they did with witches in some of Liam's stories?

He stood up.

"Come." He outstretched a hand to me to help me up. "Let's go back home."

"However, this is a tie." I clarified. He just gave me a blank look.

The next day, he told me he was L, the world's greatest detective. He instructed me not to tell anyone, and said his vacation was nearly over. When he went back to work, he said I was to go with him and become his assistant. I would do simple things like bring him sweets mainly, since Watari, another man that helped him, would probably be very busy.

And that's how, with a job that seemed quite unimportant, my life changed forever. 


	4. Liam And Matt

Well, here goes, today's chapter! It's a ittle short, but tomorrow's is very long. Thanks to those that reviewed! You made my day!

Once again, thanks to Cursa for being a great beta reader!

I was exhausted. I had been feeling ill all week, and had the wildest cravings imaginable. Fatigue hit me unexpectedly, and I could barely get up from bed.

It was my second week at the hotel. It was about time to contact Wammy's house and tell them what happened. I also needed someone to come pick me up. There was no way I could get to Wammy's house, let alone outside my room, without help.

I took out my new cell phone and dialled the number L made me learn on my first day as his assistant. After a few rings, someone picked up.

"Wammy's House. What can I do for you?"

"Liam… I need help…"

"Tomorrow you leave." Liam said sadly. I nodded, smiling. This was going to be interesting… a completely new adventure.

"I'm going to help the great L." I said proudly as I packed my stuff.

"Not really. You're just going to bring him sweets, buy groceries and probably cook. You won't be solving cases." Matt said. He had taken to hanging out with us sometimes.

"Don't burst my bubble." I said, ruffling his hair playfully. He smiled.

"You're going to have to grow up, Nilla." Liam sounded incredibly sad. "You don't know what kind of situations you might face alongside L. I'm not sure if you can take it."

"Of course I can. I'll do my best." I smiled.

"Be serious for once!" Liam exclaimed. "You're always too happy, too go-lucky! It's fine in the orphanage. We're protected here. But you don't have the slightest idea of who you are, where you come from… you don't even act your age! I don't know what he's thinking, taking you. You might even say something you're not supposed to!"

I turned to him, for the first time showing him my completely serious side.

"If you think I'd do that, you're completely wrong. I may act happy and carefree, but that's not all I am. You are treating me like a fool, and I am not. I might not be as smart as you are, but I'm not stupid. I am going to do my work well, smartly and effectively, and I'm going to make all of you proud. Anything he needs, I'll do for him. There is no way I'm going to put him in harm's way. Still, someone has to be happy. You're way too serious sometimes, Liam."

Liam just stared at me as Matt lay down on my bed taking a Game Boy Advance out of his pocket.

"Are you finished with all the drama?" he asked, winking at me. "Maybe she's too happy for her own good, but you're too serious. She'll learn, she'll do a good job, as long as she doesn't cook."

"Oh, stop that!" I said, blushing. May had tried to teach me to cook, but I was too absent minded for that. I had done it all wrong, and everyone had loathed the food. I was banned from the kitchen from that day on. However, May and I snuck inside and she continued the classes. Before long, I had become a really good cook, although not as good as May. However, there was one thing I could prepare better than her… chocolate cakes. I made one for dessert one day, and everyone thought it was May's. shyly, she shook her head and pointed at me. I confessed I had done it, and from then on, I made a different cake once a week. I was the official pastry chef of the orphanage. Still, Matt loved to tease me with my first failure.

"You know I'm teasing." He said, pulling my hair gently and playfully. I smiled and tried to carry my suitcase off the bed. It was heavy.

"Oh, come on! It's too heavy for you. I'll do it." Matt said, jumping up and moving me out of the way gently. He put the suitcase near the door. "Tomorrow, before you leave, I'll carry your suitcase to the car for you."

"Thanks, Matt." I smiled angelically. "I challenge you to a match in Smash Bros."

"I accept." He bowed in a silly way. "You coming, Liam?"

"I'll watch."

We played for an hour. It was a close battle, but Matt won in the end, as always.

"Good match."

I was going to miss them. They were my best friends at the orphanage. 


	5. The Creators

People! Here is today's chapter! Be good and review. This one is the longest one yet, and the one where the most secrets are revealed. Therefore, I would really appreciate your opinions... This one's important for me. I'd like to know if you like the idea, if my writing sucks, or whatever. Oh well, here goes. Hope you like it!

My eyes opened. I was at my room in the orphanage. I yawned and sat up, rubbing sleep from my eyes. I looked around and saw Matt sleeping on the chair beside my bed. He looked peaceful, cute even. I smiled, feeling my heart warm up to him. I had missed him.

After I called the orphanage and told Liam of my plight, both he and Matt had gotten on a plane as fast as they could and went to save me. Gently, they nursed me until I felt a little better, then took me back to the orphanage, where I was safe. I was very thankful to them for their gentleness, their concern and their friendship. However, I suddenly began to realize just how fond I was of Matt. His jokes and his arms were always there to aid me. Liam, of course, was also a great friend, but there was… something special… about Matt.

I slipped out of bed and stood up. Instantly, the nausea returned. I let myself fall back on the bed with a groan. What was wrong with me?

Matt began to stir. He yawned and sat up, blinking owlishly. Then, he saw me sit up.

"Nilla… You're awake!" He jumped up instantly and grabbed my hand. He tried to pull me to my feet but I didn't let him.

"Don't. I feel horrible nausea whenever I stand. I'm definitely not feeling well."

He gave me a concerned look.

"What other symptoms do you have?" He asked, serious. I laughed.

"You're no doctor, Matt. Yet you're acting like one. I'm fine, I just need rest. Thank you for your concern."

He smiled broadly and sat down on the bed beside me.

"You're wrong on that. I've decided to become a doctor, since I can't be L's successor. I already began studying."

"Whoa!" that one had taken me by surprise. "Really?" he nodded. "That's great!"

"So tell me your symptoms. You are my first patient."

"Well… I throw up once a day. I've been terribly tired lately… and of course the nausea. Constant headaches…" Matt was giving me a strange look. "What?" I asked.

"Hum… not to alarm you, but those are… Ok, promise me you won't blow a blood vessel or something."

"I promise. Now tell me, Matt."

"We may need to run a few tests and so, but…"

"MATT!"

"You might be pregnant."

It was as if the whole world had collapsed around my ears.

"Pregnant? But… but that's impossible! I have never… I didn't… I didn't…" I paused for a moment, remembering. "Oh my God, I did!" I burrowed my face into a pillow. "This is terrible!"

"Some people see it as a miracle from God." Matt was enjoying himself immensely.

"This isn't a joke! How am I going to raise this kid? I don't have the time… In fact, I came to find Mello and Near… I need them to help me to get revenge from Kira! I need…" I suddenly stopped, remembering. "Matt… I have to tell you some horrible news. L…"

"L is dead. We know." He said, his happy mood evaporating quickly. "Roger told us. Don't ask me how he knew."

We were quiet for a few minutes. Then, he seemed to shake off the thought, because he smiled at me slyly and asked:

"Well? Who's the father? Watari or Kira?"

I would have laughed had de not added "Kira". The idea of… Bearing Light's child was disgusting! I hit Matt hard with a pillow.

"Don't joke with that. It's gross."

"Ouch. Ok, ok. I won't play games with you anymore. Still, I want to know. Who's the father?"

I grew red as a beet.

"We don't even know if I'm really pregnant."

"Well, you said earlier it was possible, so…"

I gave him an ugly look.

"If you really want to know, the only possibility would be L." I admitted, growing even redder.

No matter what, Matt wasn't expecting that. His eyes grew wide and he shook his head violently from side to side.

"He - he would never do… I- I can't imagine him… And you… and…"

"Don't imagine it, you perv!" I exclaimed, covering my face with my hands. Matt took a deep breath and calmed down.

"The only explanation would be that you raped him. Did you?"

At that moment, Liam came in.

""What? Nilla raped someone?" he asked, shocked.

"I did not!" I suddenly wasn't as happy to see them. I sighed. We quickly told Liam what had happened.

"You're going to have L's baby?" He asked, surprised.

"We already told you it wasn't a sure thing! Gods, you're annoying. Both of you." I gave them dark looks.

"Is he the only possibility?" Liam asked.

"Well, yeah. I mean, he's the only one I've…" I blushed again. "I'm NOT going to discuss this with you guys!"

The reality was that L was the only man I had ever slept with. It had happened twice, and both times it was an accident from his part. To me, the first time had been because of my childish crush on him. The second, I had forced myself to mature due to several circumstances, and it had happened when I was serious enough to realize it was a lot more than a crush. A day later, he died. Isn't life delightful?

"Well, I want to be sure of this. Go to the pharmacy and bring me a pregnancy test." They just gave me blank looks. However, I had to think about this by myself. They had to go. "Move!"

They stood up and left, mumbling. I lay back on the bed with a sigh as the idea sunk in. After a few minutes, I smiled, suddenly excited. Lawliett was dead. He was never coming back. Still… I had something of the man I loved. I had his baby.

"This could be a good idea." I turned to my belly. "Hello, baby. I'm your mother. You have no father, but still, I'll take care of you. I'm going to love you and give you the best I have. Don't you worry about anything." I said lovingly. Revenge could wait until the baby was born. That made me think… what should I name him?

I began to daydream about my baby. After a few minutes, I stood up and ignored the dizziness as well as I could. I went to the library they had in the orphanage. It was huge. There were books of all kinds. I found one about babies and pregnancy, then went back to my room and began to read. There were notes written on some pages. I recognized Matt's handwriting. He really was going to become a doctor? Interesting.

I read until Matt and Liam came back and handed me the test.

"It was embarrassing." Matt informed me. "The cashier was a cute girl. He asked me if I suspected my girlfriend was pregnant."

"That's karma." I winked at him. "Think twice about teasing me with this in the future."

"We must stop the broadcast!" Aizawa exclaimed, lunging for the phone. Matsuda called too, but neither of them was able to establish contact.

"Damn it! I'll go stop them myself!" Ukita-san exclaimed and went out the door.

"I'll go with you!" ran after him, grabbing my car keys from the table. As a present, Ryuuzaki had given me a car, a Mini Cooper S. It ran beautifully, and with me behind the wheel we'd get there in no time.

"Wait…" I heard Ryuuzaki say, but I ignored him. I caught up with Ukita-san and grabbed his arm.

"I'm your backup." I said smiling in a reassuring way. However, I didn't feel like smiling. I had a bad feeling, but I would protect Ukita-san. At least, that was what I thought in my childishness.

I got behind the wheel and went forward in a surge of power. We got to Sakura T.V. in a few minutes. Ukita-san jumped out and I stayed in the car, ready to slam into the glass doors if they refused to open. For me, this was just another interesting adventure. Of course no one could really get hurt.

Ukita-san slammed on the doors with his fist, and when he obtained no response, took his gun out. I was going to shout at him to move because I would let us in when he suddenly fell to the floor.

"Ukita-san!" I shouted, and leapt out of the car to run to him. As I got to his side, I began to feel sick. My heart was beating wildly and I was about to throw up. I ignored it as best as I could, since my objective was Ukita-san. I felt his wrist for a pulse, but there was none. I grabbed both his wrists and tried to pull him to the car, but then my blood went cold. Literally. It suddenly lost all its warmth, and I shivered. The desire to throw up grew, and I fell to my knees. I couldn't move, I couldn't think. I fought the feeling, and then I felt the cold hand of death on my shoulder. Adrenalin ran through my veins as I fought for my life. Horrible images went through my brain, and seemed to convince me there was no point in fighting. Death began to feel like a nice, welcome ally that I would be a fool not to embrace. I lay on the ground, my eyes closing and my body began to relax. Suddenly, a completely new image went through my mind. I was back in the suite, and Ryuuzaki was giving me one of his detached looks.

"Nilla-san?" he asked. "What are you doing on the floor?"

At last, the warmth returned to my body and I felt a little better. I kept thoughts of Matt, Liam and Mello in my brain as I carried Ukita-san to the car and then drove him to the nearest hospital.

The doctor was a nice man. He was very young, and looked at my tearstained face in understanding. He explained gently that Ukita-san was dead, and I had no choice but to believe him. Leaving Ukita-San there, I went back to my car and turned on the engine. I drove around the city for hours, wondering why he'd been killed and I hadn't. I saw no explanation for it. Plus, what had been that moment of weakness back there? And why had Ryuuzaki brought the warmth back to my being? Around midnight, I went back to the hotel, hoping everyone would be gone. I felt like a fool… Liam had been right. I wasn't made for serious jobs.

"However, I am not a quitter." I whispered trough clenched teeth. "I'm going to see this through. I shall never make another mistake like this one."

I opened the door to the suite and went in, unsure. I looked around and saw no one. L was alone. The others had left to do various tasks, or just to get some sleep. I dropped the keys on the table beside the door and snuck into my room quietly, completely unwilling to talk to L at the moment. I felt terrible. I should have done something to save Ukita-san, yet I had been completely powerless to stop his death, just acting like a stupid child in search of fun. I had to learn to actually pay attention to what my brain told me.

"Nilla-san! Bring me some cake, please." L ordered. I sighed and went inside the suite's kitchen. I cut a slice of the chocolate cake with strawberries I'd baked that morning and took it to him with a cup of tea.

"Here. I'm going to sleep now." I said, putting the tray in front of him and backing off towards the door. I didn't meet him in the eye.

"Please wait, Nilla-san. I have a few questions for you."

"Sure." I answered, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Why didn't you die?"

That was insulting, and hurt deeply.

"Did you want me to die?" I asked, not masking the pain that comment caused me.

"No, but at one point I saw you collapse. Kira must have seen your face as he saw Ukita-san's. However, Ukita-san is dead and you are very much alive. Why is that?" he asked.

"I don't know. At one point, I felt terrible, and I did think for a moment Kira was trying to kill me. Then…" I paused, unsure if I should tell him about his image in my head, and how it had returned the warmth into my body. I decided not to. "Then… the feeling passed and I took Ukita-san to the hospital."

Ryuuzaki just stared at me with that blank look. He seemed to have more questions for me, and I thought he was wondering if he should ask them. Then, e turned back to the computer.

"You may go to sleep now."

I nodded and left. I collapsed on my bed and began to think. Ukita-san's death replayed in my mind. I felt a chill down my spine and wrapped my arms around me. Tears flowed down my face. I wanted a hug. I needed it badly.

"Why are you crying?" a voice said, and I sat up in alarm. I looked around.

"What… who's there?"

"Are you that far gone? It's incredible. You won't last much like this. There's a full moon today. You should be sucking up its rays outside, yet you lie in bed, inside, ignoring all that precious energy."

I looked around but there was no one.

"Stop playing games with me. Show yourself!" I commanded, crossing my arms over my chest. I wasn't about to let an invisible visitor see my hurt side. Suddenly, a monster appeared beside me! It was pale, had some sort of hoop earrings and very long arms. I cannot describe it further, it was a creature taken straight out of Liam's stories. "What are you?" I asked, fear evident in my voice.

"I am a Shinigami. That means, a God of Death. However, what I am is not important. What matters to me is if you know what YOU are."

"What I am? A human girl, of course." I shrugged.

"Really?" The Shinigami seemed to smile. "I don't think so. I don't think you believe that, either."

"If you know so much, then tell me what you think I am." I smiled mockingly.

"You are the opposite of me, a Creator." The Shinigami announced. I frowned. "Shinigami exist to kill, to destroy, in a way. A being like you exists to create and to preserve beauty. Haven't you noticed the way beauty calls you and is a part of you? How it feeds you and strengthens you?"

I nodded, realising the Shinigami was saying the truth.

"What's your name?" I asked the Shinigami.

"Rem." She paused for a moment. "You don't remember at all, do you?" she asked me.

"Remember?" I thought for a second, then felt a little irritation. "Look, please just explain everything you know. I am very confused, and strange things keep happening. I healed a wound just by… wishing it, you could say. No human can do that." I hugged my knees. "Plus, Kira wasn't able to kill me today. Not that I want him to, but… I just don't understand."

"I already told you you're not human. Your kind creates, fixes, beautifies. In a way, healing enters those categories. You must have been worried about the person to heal his wound."

"Yes, I was. But please explain all you know." I crawled to the edge of the bed to be closer to Rem.

"Creators have many talents, all related to arts and creativity. Most Creators specialize on one thing only, but there are some that are multi talented, although they are scarce." She put a hand on my chin and raised my face to hers. She observed me for a second. "You are a youngster. You can't be more than two hundred years old, and Creators live up to thousands of years. I think you must be the youngest of the society."

"The youngest? Don't Creators have babies?" I asked, while thinking if Ryuuzaki would mind that I was older than even Watari.

"Certain conditions have to be fulfilled, but they are nearly impossible. No one knows what they are exactly, so baby Creators are very scarce. Consider yourself a miracle." She smiled. "However, there is a ritual. All young Creators have to go to one of the alternate worlds, which includes this, the human world, and find their artistic specialization. This is not an easy task, since they have a limited time only. They cannot stay in another world for more than fifteen years, or their powers fade and then they die. One way to recharge them, even if it's not a complete recharge, is to sleep under the full moon, which is the bridge from their world to the others."

"That's why you said I was wasting precious energy? Then we must go out to the moon. However…" I paused.

"What is it?"

"I don't want the human in the other room to see me going out… "

In a swift movement, Rem grabbed me and lifted me into her long arms. She opened the window and we flew out from the hotel room into the night. I saw dark wings, and knew we were flying. After a few seconds, she deposited me gently on the roof of the hotel, and I felt the moon's caress on my skin.

Rem was right. I felt renewed, reborn. There was a pleasure I'd never felt before tingling my whole body. It was wonderful.

"Rem… do Creators have wings?" I asked, thinking how wonderful it would be to fly.

"They do, but it takes a lot of energy to materialize them into this world. Most can't do it."

"Rem… I have another question. Why are you telling me this? Why are you helping me? You don't know me."

Rem looked at me and I saw sorrow in her cold eyes.

"You remind me of myself, of who I was long ago. I am going to tell you a secret. Most creators don't know this, and even less Shinigami know this fact. A Creator's purpose is, as I said before, to create and improve. But when a Creator makes something, a little of his or her life disappears, unlike Shinigami, since when they kill they gain life. However, due to the pleasure Creators feel when they complete something, and because of love to creation itself, Creators don't care they will eventually die. When a Creator destroys something, he or she feels terrible. It is a blow not many can easily recover from. It's even worse when a Creator kills. Then, their power withers away and they become Shinigami, who are cursed to forever destroy and forget the warmth of the moon and the song of the flowers."

"Then you were a Creator once! Why… why did you kill?" I asked, shocked. She looked at me for a long time, but I got the feeling she wasn't really seeing me. At last, she began to speak again.

"On my trip to the Human world, I made a terrible mistake. I fell in love. This man fell in love with me, too. We lived a very happy life… we even had a daughter. I didn't care if I lost my Creator powers as long as I could stay with him and my baby. One night, burglars entered our home. One of them hurt my husband and was going to kill him. I was furious, and in anger, used my power to kill him. At that moment, I felt terrible, especially since I could do nothing for my husband. He was dying. With the lasts of my strength, I tried to heal him, but I was already cursed. He became a Shinigami, just like me, and he couldn't remember who he was, who I was. He couldn't remember our daughter. We lived in the Shinigami realm, and occasionally looked down to the human world. From there, I took care of my daughter, watched her grow. One day, my husband saw her and fell in love with her. It might have been a spark of a memory, or just fate playing with us once again. Anyway, he took to watching her every day. But then… a man hurt my daughter. He tried to kill her. My husband couldn't stand it and killed the man, saving my daughter's life. However, Shinigami are made to destroy life, not protect it. He died." Rem finished, and her tone was impressively cold. She didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Oh… I'm sorry… then, did you come to the human world to watch over your daughter?" I asked. Rem nodded. I went to her and hugged her. "thank you for telling me all this, Rem. In exchange, I promise you this. Whenever you need a favour, I shall be there for you. I promise anything you ask, I'll do."

"Thank you." Rem was stiff. She didn't seem to like hugs very much.

"I have one more question. Can humans kill me while I'm in the human world?" I asked. Maybe this was why Kira couldn't kill me.

"No. Not even Shinigami can kill you. Only your actions make you or destroy you. I must go now." Somehow, I felt she was hiding something from me. However, I couldn't stop her. She spread her wings wide and disappeared into the night without another word. I curled down on the ground and did my best to sleep, with the moon overhead protecting me. 


	6. Eppure Sentire

OOOOOk! Another chapter! To be honest, I didn't overly like this one... but at the same time, I don't hate it enough to completely erase it. Whatever. It's necessary, since Nilla begins to discover her talents... Plus, after such an eventful chapter as last one, whatever chapter that followed it would probably be dull in comparison. Well... here goes!

"Do you think this is correct?" Matt asked nervously.

"Yes, I do. At least, I hope it's correct." I answered, smiling. The pregnancy test was positive. I was going to have a baby.

Liam, Matt and I were sitting in the garden at Wammy's house, watching the sun set. I loved to sit there with my best friends on either side of me, talking.

"I thought you didn't want to have a kid." Matt poked my ribs teasingly, and took his game boy from his pocket.

"Well, I changed my mind." I poked his ribs in return and sighed. "I just… I don't know… It's wonderful to be able to have L's child, and raise him, love him, take good care of him. I guess that's what I really want, above all else."

"What will you name the baby?" Liam asked. "Have you thought about that?"

"Yes. He'll be named Lawliett, like his father." I smiled proudly.

"Come on, do you hate the kid or something? Do you want the curse to live on with him or what? That's a terrible name." Matt gave me a shocked look. "And anyway, what makes you think that was L's real name? Although that would explain the alias and the secrecy. Man, if I had a name like that…"

"Are you finished?" I gave him a dirty look. "I think it's a lovely name, not a curse."

"And what if the baby is a girl?" Liam pulled at the grass.

"It will be a boy. I just know it." I smiled.

"I'll repeat the question you ignored so shamelessly. How did you learn L's real name?" Matt demanded.

I stayed quiet for a few seconds, thinking of how to answer. I chose the truth.

"L himself told me… However… I knew before that." They looked at me expectantly, without a word. I began to explain.

"Nilla… are you ok?" Matsuda-san asked as I came back from a daydream for the thousandth time that day.

"Sorry, Matsuda-san! I was just… thinking." I smiled at him and poured the tea in his cup. "There you go."

"Thank you." He smiled at me. I liked Matsuda-san. He was sweet.

L's teacup was empty. I grabbed it and ran to the kitchen to refill it, since the kettle was empty too. I felt like a servant, not an assistant. I knew Matt had warned me, and he had been right. However, I liked being near L. I wondered what he would say if he knew what I really was… But how could I tell him? I didn't think he'd believe a Shinigami appeared in my room and the rest. But maybe, he could…

There I went again, back to daydreaming.

"Nilla-san…" L's voice brought me back to Earth. ""Are you ok?" he cocked his head gently to one side and put his thumb in his mouth.

"Perfectly fine. Why do you ask?" I asked, giving him my sweetest smile. He didn't answer, just looked down. I followed his gaze and gasped in horror. I had begun pouring tea into L's cup, but forgot what I was doing lost in a dream. The tea had overflowed and was spilling onto the counter and from then onto the floor. I put the kettle down and blushed red as a beet. "I'll have this cleaned up in a second! I'm sorry!"

He was giving me a weird look, as if I was a weird specimen he couldn't quite understand.

"You may go take a walk, Nilla-san. I can take care of this." He moved around the kitchen, looking for something to clean up the mess I presumed. I felt like a complete failure.

"It's ok… I'll do this… I'll…"

"Please go take a break." He said pointedly, and I sighed. I went out of the kitchen sadly and out of the hotel room. I began to walk down the street thinking. I was behaving like a child. No two-hundred year old should behave like this. I felt the tears burn in my eyes, and I shook my head violently. No, I DEFINITELY wasn't going to cry! I bit my lip strongly almost to the point to draw blood in an attempt to punish myself and bring me back to my senses. I just had to find something nice and soothing. I passed in front of a store that sold musical instruments. I had never held one in my hands, but I decided to go in anyways.

I saw a beautiful grand piano. It seemed to be calling me, winking at me. I went towards it and sat down on the stool. I touched the white keys gently, then pressed one. A note filled the air, and a delicious thrill went down my spine. I let my fingers begin to toy with the notes, and my brain suddenly went on autopilot. It learnt the location of each note, the different ways it reacted by how much pressure I applied on the key, and the use of the pedals. After about half an hour, I began playing songs I liked. Was this the power of the Creators? Had I finally found my talent?

I became completely engrossed in the piano. I didn't realize that people began to surround me, didn't realize the passage of time. I was lost in the notes, in the music. I had always wanted to sing the wordless melody inside my soul, and this piano was extracting it from within me. I was at a complete peace. At last, I was myself, I was complete.

And suddenly, it all ended. My fingers were in terrible pain.

"Miss! Do you hear me?" The lid that protected the keys had been smashed on my fingers.

"Why did you do that for?!" I demanded, turning to the source of the voice. I found myself face to face with a small old man that looked quite pissed off.

"You didn't pay any attention at all. We are about to close. Get out."

"Sir, could you give us five more minutes?" a voice behind me said. I recognized it instantly.

"Ryuuzaki…!" I breathed, suddenly shy.

The man frowned, but he was very small and Ryuuzaki was very tall. He left mumbling something. As soon as he was gone, Ryuuzaki turned to me.

"Play." He stood there in his usual slouch and looked at me expectantly. I gulped and decided to concentrate. I turned to the piano and touched a note tentatively. I decided to play a song Liz had shown me. I loved it and in many ways described everything I felt at the moment. According to Liz, the song's name was Eppure Sentire, by Elisa. I began to play and the notes gave me enough strength to sing it, too. Soon, I was pouring my soul into the song and had forgotten everything except how perfectly the song described what I felt, even if it was slightly vague.

"A un passo dal possibile

A un passo da te  
Paura di decidere  
Paura di me

Di tutto quello che non so  
Di tutto quello che non ho

Eppure sentire  
Nei fiori tra l'asfalto  
Nei cieli di cobalto - c'è

Eppure sentire  
Nei sogni in fondo a un pianto  
Nei giorni di silenzio - c'è

un senso di te…"

I let the song run away with me. I gave it my all, and in return I felt freedom I had never experienced before. So this is what Rem had meant… this was how creating felt. Of course, I hadn't composed the song, but by playing it, I was creating ephemeral beauty for the world.

When the song finished and the last note had faded away, I closed the lid and stood up, turning to Ryuuzaki. He stood there, with a thumb in his mouth and looking at me with an expression I couldn't quite place. I spoke.

"I think our five minutes are over, Ryuuzaki-kun. Let's go back." He just stared at me for a few more seconds and then turned to leave. "Thank you for your time, sir. We'll come back soon." I smiled at the shopkeeper who just waved a hand dismissing my comment.

When we were outside, I realized how late it was. I had left the hotel at around two, and from the position of the sun I calculated it must be five or six already. Could Ryuuzaki…

I shook my head violently, telling myself to stop imagining he had worried enough about me to go out searching for me.

We walked in front of a café, and Ryuuzaki stopped, looking at it. I could see he was thinking seriously.

"Let's go in for some cake and tea." He announced at last. "I don't want you to spill anything else today."

The comment stung but I said nothing. I just followed Ryuuzaki inside the shop. He sat in that peculiar way of his and said nothing. He concentrated on the menu, then on his cake and tea. He didn't address me at all. Still, I enjoyed this chance to observe him. He was so cute he made me smile. I observed every gesture, every movement. My brain memorized the features of his face, the shine of his hair, the blankness of his eyes. He didn't seem to realize the intensity of my gaze on him, since he was too busy devouring cake. When he was finished, he stood up, paid and went out with me following him. At last, I couldn't resist it and I slipped my arm through his.

"Let's do this more often, Ryuuzaki-kun. You work too much." I smiled at him as he gave me a blank look that hid his true thoughts. It didn't matter if he never felt the way I did. I was satisfied by being by his side.

That's it for today. The song, as I said earlier, is Eppure Sentire (Un senso di te) and the artist is Elisa. The song is beautiful, and for those who don't speak Italian, I'll post the translation here. 

A step from the possible,  
A step from you,  
Afraid of deciding,  
Afraid of me,

Of all I don't know,  
Of all that I'm not

And still, I feel  
In the flowers on the asphalt  
In the blue of the sky

And still, I feel  
In the dream, someone's crying  
In those silent days, there is

A feeling of you

This is the rough translation. My Italian isn't as good as I'd like it to be… 


	7. A Rainy Season

LA! It was a nice day! Mother gave me as a present two little cherry trees and a pot with lavender! I love flowers so MUCH! And can't wait to see my cherry trees blossoming! Ok, enough of my babbling... Let's get on witht the chapter. Once again, this one isn't as eventful, but tomorrow's... I love the character introduced in tomorrow's. But ENOUGH! Here is today's! Hope you like it!

Several hours later, I had said it all. Every detail I knew about Creators had been laid out for them to know, and they looked at me with amazed looks on their faces.

"Man…" Matt began, and took a pack of cigarettes from one of his pockets. He took a cigarette out and lit it, then took a puff. "That feels better."

"Aren't you supposed to be an apprentice doctor? Cigarette smoke is bad for pregnant women." I teased him, nervous. Would they be repelled by me?

"No problem, girl. The wind is blowing the smoke to the opposite side. You're safe." He didn't even look at me.

"This is completely unbelievable." Liam said in awe. "Are you really…"

"Yes." I interrupted in a slightly cranky way. "It's all true. I'm not human. I don't even belong in this realm."

Liam gave me a huge smile.

"That's great!" he exclaimed. "I feel as if one of my stories had become flesh and bone." I couldn't believe it… He was positively beaming!

"NO ONE is to know about this, you heard?" I asked angrily. "This is a MAYOR SECRET!"

"We got it, we got it." Matt said, ruffling my hair. "You're safe with us, kiddo."

"You can't call me kiddo any more, Matt. I'm at least a hundred and fifty years older than you." I winked at him. I was relieved they were taking it well.

"I wonder how the kid will come out." Matt said, taking his Game Boy out and turning it on. "He's going to be an interesting one."

The direction of the wind changed and blew the smoke from Matt's cigarette on my face. I took it from his mouth and crushed it under my heel ignoring his complaints. I smiled at him sweetly.

"He's going to be a great kid. I know it. I'll give him my very best." I sighed. "I guess I'll have to actually pay attention to what my brain says from now on." I winked at Liam, who wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

I looked at the stars above and thanked them for giving me such good friends. At last, I began to feel at home again.

My duties had changed. I still did the shopping and acted as a waitress for the detectives in the Kira case, but now I also sang to them and played music for them when they were tired. L hadn't bought me the piano, since we couldn't move it around from hotel to hotel. Still, he bought me an electric guitar and a violin. I had mastered them quickly, and enjoyed playing for the detectives, who were a good audience. They enjoyed what I played. Ryuuzaki showed no emotion at all when I played. In fact, he didn't even look at me. However, I guessed he liked it because he kept asking me to play or to sing, and he bought me the instruments. That showed SOME interest at least, didn't it? It thrilled me. My small crush on him was growing.

I didn't pay much attention to the Kira case. Whenever I thought of all the people he had killed I got so mad it scared me. Once again, it must be the Creator blood.

I went inside the kitchen and prepared some tea. I also got the cake I'd baked that morning at Aizawa-san's house. Since this was a hotel suite, we had a small kitchen, but to ask for an oven would be too much. Aizawa-san and his wife lent me theirs. She thought I was a foreign exchange student that loved baking cakes, though. She had no real idea of who I was, or my connections to the great detective.

I put the kettle and the cake on a tray and went out. In the living room, I found a completely new face.

"Ah, Nilla! Come here." Yagami-san motioned to me with a smile. "I want you to meet someone."

Matsuda-san took the tray from me and I walked to Yagami-san, who with a parental air put a hand on my shoulder and introduced me to the new person.

"This is my son, Light. He'll be helping us with the investigation from now on."

I looked at Light. He was cute, extremely cute. But his eyes were so cold it was scary.

"Hello, Yagami-kun. I'm Nilla." I said, outstretching my hand. He took it.

"I'm Yagami Light. Pleased to meet you."

I was confused. I didn't know why the guy made me so nervous. His eyes were emotionless, sure, but so were Ryuuzaki's. However, L's were emotionless in a blank sort of way. Light's were in a calculating sort of way.

"Ryuuzaki calculates a lot too. He's L, the greatest detective in the world, remember?" an inner voice asked as I poured the tea and cut the cake.. "Light's eyes seem to be more honest than L's, in a way. Shouldn't that be a good thing?"

I didn't answer the inner voice, I just kept staring at Yagami Light in confusion. There was… something about him. I could feel it, but I couldn't reason it.

When the detectives were gone for the night, I took Ryuuzaki a plateful of strawberries and some Earl Grey tea. He was working in the computer, checking and rechecking evidence.

"Ryuuzaki, what's the deal with Light?" I asked, sitting on a chair beside his.

"I suspect he may be Kira. However, I don't have enough evidence to prove it." He didn't even look at me as he worked.

"Then why is he working with you?" I asked, surprised. "He could learn vital information about you, and, in the end…" I paused. It was too horrible to even think about it. I looked at the dark-haired man in front of me, pictured him lying dead and cold… a shiver ran down my spine. He was looking at me now, but his eyes were like mirrors that didn't let me in.

I impulsively took his hand and squeezed it.

"I'll take care of you." I vowed. "I'll do my best to protect you."

He gave me one of his blank looks.

"There is no way you can do that, and you know it."

I opened my mouth and closed it, but no sound came out. I was like a fish, unable to say anything of relevance.

"I appreciate the thought, but you surely realise there is no way you can go against Kira. Thank you, anyway." He turned back to the computer, and I just stared at him for a moment.

"I may not be able to go against Kira, but I assure you I…" My voice broke. Why did I care so much?

Then, I stood up without a word and went out. I went out of the hotel suite and walked up to the roof. The moon wasn't full, and the sky roared with thunder, but I felt at peace with the cool air hitting my face.

I was sad and hurt. Ryuuzaki was too blunt, and I was too childish, taking everything to heart. Why couldn't I begin to grow up?

I lay down on the roof, looking at the dark cloudy sky. I thought about leaving, about running away. Where would I go? What would I do? What kind of people would I meet? It was an interesting thought. I began to weave a fabric of fantasies that developed before my very eyes. However, every dream led back to one important point. Every path I walked, every place I visited, it all came back to Ryuuzaki.

I didn't know a single thing about him. I didn't know anything about his past, his present, his future. He was completely shrouded in a black cloak of mystery, standing at the top of a mountain I could not climb. Why did I care so much about him? Where was the logic behind my thoughts and actions? I smiled to myself, calm again, the sadness gone. There probably was no logic, there most certainly was no reason. Still, I was here, and so was he. I would do my best to follow, even if I could not be beside him. Even the great L must be discouraged sometimes, and in need of a friend. I would be with him, right there waiting, ready to offer him everything I had and everything I was. After all, he wanted to save the world from the grasp of Kira, didn't he?

The rain began to fall. It stroked my body gently, and I enjoyed the sensations it caused. After a few minutes, I sighed and stood up, I didn't want to catch a cold. Looking to the door, I saw him.

"Ryuuzaki! What are you doing here?" I exclaimed in surprise.

"I sometimes like to watch the moon. However, I can't see it tonight." He answered, looking up at the sky. Y smiled, and took his arm gently.

"You're soaked. Come on, we cannot have the great L catching a cold, or can we?"

I pulled him back inside the building and into the suite. He seemed to be completely lost in thought, unaware of what was going around him. I led him into the bathroom and he sat on the toilet like a normal person, not pulling his legs up. I sighed and grabbed a towel, then began to dry his hair. It worried me that the shirt was cold and wet, clinging to his body.

"Ryuuzaki… I need to take your shirt off. Is that all right with you?"

He just stared at me, and then whispered a single word:

"Yes."

I gulped and pulled his shirt off gently, then began to dry off his neck, chest, arms, and still, he looked off into space. Soon, he was dry except for his pants. I wasn't about to touch those. I thought about what to do when suddenly, I realized how cold I was.

"Ryuuzaki-kun, I'm going to change my clothes. I'm freezing. You'd better take a hot shower and get out of those wet pants. I'll have tea and cake ready for when you come out, ok?" I said in a nice voice.

He seemed to snap out of his trance and became his old, usual self.

"Thank you, Nilla-san."

I went out of the bathroom, a towel in my hand and my heart pounding. Whoa. That had been a close one. And he really looked good without a shirt. I smiled to myself and went to my room. I dried myself off and out on my warm pyjamas. Then, I went to the kitchen to make the tea and get the slice of cake. When that was done, I made myself a sandwich. Unlike him, I couldn't survive on cake. I left the tea ready for him and went to bed, while the sky was filled with thunder. I listened to it. Combined with the rain pounding on my window, it was like a lullaby to me. I soon fell asleep.


	8. Meet Lewis!

_Here comes my favorite character! Well, from the ones invented by me. I hope you like him! I'll introduce you to him in a second!  
_

_I'm a little nervous about this chapter, since I have never done something like this before. I guess I should explain... There are some slight sexual situations here, nothing graphic, though. However, it was needed to get deeper in the relationship between Nilla and L, and how Lewis came into existence. I really have serious doubts about this, so I would appreciate it if you reviewed and told me your opinion on this... (Lots of thanks to Fullmetal Archer... Love your reviews, and to Silvia for telling me my translation was all right... I have been meaning to thank you, but I always remember when I'm away from the computer. SORRY!)_

_Oh, one more thing. The scenes from the past will now be in italics, since I realised yesterday no matter how many spaces I use to separate the paragraphs, it still puts them together. I don't like that.  
_

_Ok, time to stop babbling and making a fool out of myself. See you tomorrow!_

_And review! (Pretty please?)_

_.˚.  
_

I was exhausted. It had been a long, hard day but at last, everything was all right. I sat up weakly, feeling a bit dizzy but eager to meet him at last.

"Matt…" I whispered. He was instantly by my side, holding him in his arms.

"There… I just had him cleaned up for you. Come on, sit up. Look at him and then you can rest."

I was barely aware of Matt's arm around me, holding him in the other. I forced myself to wake up and took my first good look at Lawliett, my child.

He was a small red thing, with the cutest little hands I had ever seen. Matt had wrapped him in a white blanket, and he was sleeping soundly. My fatigue disappeared completely as soon as I saw him.

"Hello." I took him in my arms for the first time. "I believe no one has introduced us yet. I am Nilla, but you may call me Mother." I kissed his little forehead.

"July 24th, 2005, birth of Lawliett… Lawliett what?" Matt asked, smiling at me.

"Well, I don't know. L just told me his name was L Lawliett, and I don't know my last name." I sighed. "Let's give him yours, then."

"Poor kid!" Matt laughed. "He'd be Lawliett Jeevas then." I laughed.

"Hey! He's going to be fine. He's going to be named after my favourite people in the world, so it can't be too bad. If he doesn't like it, he can change it in court when he grows up, but for now, his real name is Lawliett Jeevas." I smiled.

"Ok. He has something that's mine, something that's L's… but what will he have yours?" Matt asked, once again taking his ever present Game Boy out.

"I'm sure he'll have my eyes." I answered, batting my lashes at him.

"Poor kid. He's cursed from all sides."

I laughed.

"Say all you want. You know there's no luckier child than this one in this world." I hugged the baby gently. "What could be better than being loved like this?" I smiled, holding him close.

"Being loved, having a decent name and a pretty pair of eyes, but he'll just have the love. I'm sure there are children who have all three somewhere else in the planet." Matt answered, giving me his 'I'm teasing' smile.

"Oh, shut up, Matt." I gave him my 'you're not succeeding' smile and returned my gaze to the new life in my arms. I stared at him for a long time, getting acquainted with his face, his lashes. His hands, his size, his shape… all of him. "Have you heard any news about Liam?" I suddenly asked quietly.

"None. No one at the orphanage has the slightest idea of where he is, and he hasn't called." He answered.

About four months ago, I had decided to move out of Wammy's House. Since I was pregnant and looked eighteen, I felt a bit uncomfortable with the new children that got there once in a while. I stared off into space all the time, daydreaming as always, and so some of the kids played pranks on me. I paid them back my own way, with help from May (She put… extra ingredients in their food, let's say), and some of my vengeances were delivered by Matt (I swear I didn't ask him to!), but I wasn't feeling comfortable. I got a nice little house with the money from one of L's numerous bank accounts, one Roger told me he had destined to me just in case. There was enough for me to live comfortably and not work, so I spent my days reading about bringing up children, researching childbirth, and following the Kira case. I knew nothing of Mello and Near, since they had left the orphanage before I got there. Trying to be helpful, Liam had left to look for them, but we hadn't heard from him since. One day, as I was making dinner, the doorbell rang and I found Matt with all his luggage on my front door.

"I've come to live with you." He announced, smiling with the cigarette on his mouth pointing at me. I was quite surprised.

"Live with me? Why? Not that I don't want you to, but it's… well, quite surprising… and sudden…"

"I know, but I'm too old to keep living at the orphanage, and it's dull without you and Mello there." He shrugged. "Plus, you might need help since you're going to have a baby and all."

I smiled.

"Guess I can't get rid of you. Come on in." I snatched the cigarette from his mouth and stepped on it. "However, you're going to have to follow certain rules, which include no smoking indoors." I hugged him. "Welcome, Matt."

Ever since that day, Matt had lived with me. He was a great help, and was very patient with my little problems and pains. I began to like him more and more.

At last, the day came. I knew it in my bones… the baby was going to be born. Little did I know Matt had been preparing for that moment, too. He helped me have the baby. I won't go into details, it was painful and embarrassing, but I was surprised at Matt, his maturity, the way he took every situation. He convinced me that going to the hospital wasn't a good idea, since I had no papers, no kind of records, no anything. We had fake IDs and other stuff, but it might not be enough. The least I wanted was to be put in jail and someone to take the baby, or worse; that Light found me by some horrible twist of fate.

At last, it was all over and a healthy baby lay in my arms. This couldn't be better.

"Have you thought about what we'll call him? It's not safe to go around calling him by his real name with Kira on the loose." Matt touched the baby's little fist gently with a finger.

"Well, if you think my choices of names are that terrible, you can choose the alias, Matt." I smiled teasingly at him. He gave me a sweet smile.

"Well, I always thought that if I ever got a kid, I'd name him Lewis. That could be his alias." He answered, touching Lewis' beautiful nose gently. "Now THERE's a good name."

I looked at Matt in surprise. He didn't look like the hype to be thinking about having babies of his own. Still, I knew if he ever did have any, he'd be a great father. I was grateful for having him around.

"Lewis it is, then." I yawned. I was tired… It had been a hard day.

Matt took Lewis from my arms and put him in a cradle.

"Go to sleep, you must be tired. I'll take care of things." He said kindly.

"I'm not tired. I'll get up and I'll…" I yawned "Help you with stuff."

"Definitely not. Just have a nap, and after that you can rebuild the whole house if you want."

I didn't fight him. I was too tired to. I curled over and fell asleep.

The rain fell on the window outside, and lulled me to sleep as I watched Lewis breathe.

_It was the most terrible night I had ever experienced before._

_The thunder was killing me. Every time it rumbled in the sky, I felt it acutely, as if it was a physical blow. Images went through my brain, terrifying me, and I was unable to move. Earlier, I had gone to the roof to feel the rain on my face when, from a harmless drizzle, the terrible storm was born._

_She was dying, and she wasn't going without a fight._

_I was soaked, shivering, completely alone, unable to fight the terror that overwhelmed me. This was my first true memory of being a Creator, and I understood perfectly what was happening._

_After a few millennia spent creating and beautifying the universe, Creators died when their energy was completely spent. Minerva, one of the most respected elders, was dying tonight. She didn't want to, and in a show of inconformity, she was letting all hell loose in the skies searching for more strength that would help her live even one more day. She had acquired that energy by taking it from Creators whose minds weren't as strong as hers. However, it wasn't enough to keep her alive. All Creators and Death Gods alike were terrified at this gigantic display of power, since it was possible that she would be desperate enough to absorb someone's life energy directly. I could feel the mind of every Creator and Death God as they could feel mine. We were observed by her searching eye, and were now trapped, completely defenceless, underneath it. Suddenly, terrible imaged began assaulting my brain. She had caught a victim, and was proceeding to take his life energy. It was horrible. I could feel his agony, his terror, his pain. I shivered under the rain, biting my lips to keep from screaming out and making her notice me. I didn't want to be next… I didn't want to die like that…_

_Suddenly, the door to the roof opened and Ryuuzaki came outside, shouting my name. I turned to him slightly, unable to move any more. I was barely aware of him, since my real threat wasn't in his world. Lightning illuminated the sky and he saw me in the darkness. He went to me, unable to understand what was wrong but sensing my terror. Mortals like humans couldn't begin to understand the destruction that was going on in the skies._

_Ryuuzaki bent down and picked me up, then carried me inside the building._

_"What's wrong?" he asked, puzzled, but the lightning roared in my ears. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck and closed my eyes shut tightly, trembling uncontrollably._

_"Can't you feel it?" I whispered in a voice I couldn't recognize as my own. It sounded so fragile… as if it could break at any moment. Ryuuzaki carried me into the suite and into the bathroom._

_"You are completely soaked." He deposited me gently on the floor, unwrapping my arms from his neck. "We have to…"_

_"Please don't let go of me. Please don't leave me. She could find me… She could…" I was shivering in cold and in fear, begging him with my eyes. Puzzled, he sat down on the floor beside me. He made no attempt to hug me or comfort me, but I clung to him in terror, finding a little comfort in is presence and warmth._

_It seemed like an eternity, but at last, there was one last explosion in the sky and the storm was over. She was gone._

_I let my hands fall from Ryuuzaki's body._

_"I'm sorry… It was…" my voice died away, and I shook my head gently. I stood up shakily. "I- I'm sorry for this. I'm going to bed." Soaked and all, I made an attempt to go out of the bathroom. He pulled me back and, without a word, began to dry my hair gently, like I had done to him so many nights ago. He made no comment, and I made no attempt at conversation. He dried my arms, since they were bare, and my legs. I had been wearing a pretty green skirt which was now soaked. He took my shoes off and also dried my feet._

_"You must take these wet clothes off." Ryuuzaki said suddenly. I looked up at him, then shook my head. I was still scared, since the connection between my mind and the other creators' was just beginning to fade. Many had been engulfed in Minerva's fury, leaving a terrible emptiness in both the Shinigami and Creator world. I felt the pain of friends and family, the anguish of all the work and art destroyed by her. My knees shook, and I felt they could give way at any moment._

_"I cannot let you remain in these wet clothes any longer." I heard Ryuuzaki say from what seemed far away._

_"Do what you think is right." I heard myself answer. He pulled my shirt over my head and took my skirt off, and I sat before him in my bra and panties. Then wrapped me in a towel tenderly. He took off his shirt and began drying himself up too. I slowly regained consciousness of myself._

_"Will you be all right if I leave?" Ryuuzaki asked, without even looking at me._

_I stood up and wrapped the towel around myself and walked to him._

_"Thank you for your patience, Ryuuzaki-kun. I… I suppose I'll be all right." I hugged him and felt him stiffen. "I… I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable…" I let go of him and took a step back, embarrassed. However, I felt in the severe need of a hug. I longed for Matt and Liam, who would have smiled and supported me until I felt better. I would probably get the hugs from Liam, but Matt would have said outrageous things just to make me laugh._

_"It's all right." He answered, walking away. I could hear he was breathing hard._

_"Are you ok? Your breathing sounds strange…" I grabbed his arm gently, and once again he stiffened._

_"Please let go of me."_

_I was surprised by his tone, and I released his arm as if it was a hot coal._

_He turned his head slightly, and looked at me with seriousness, not blankness, for the first time._

_"I must be completely honest with you, Nilla-san. I feel lust for you. I don't want to do anything that will bring regrets later, so I'm going to leave before something happens."_

_That caught me completely off guard. My heart began to beat very fast and I swallowed hard._

_"I… I don't think I would mind either way, Ryuuzaki-san. I…" I grew red as a beet, and whispered "I feel lust for you, too. I… I actually feel more than just that."_

_Just then, the electricity failed. We were left completely in the dark. I took a step forward and touched his arm. This time, he didn't stiffen._

_He was a genius, and one with great self-control. However, he was still a man, and the darkness helped to hide embarrassments and doubt._

_In the dark, he began to explore my face with his hands. I pulled him towards me and touched his lips with mine lightly. He applied more pressure, and gave me my first kiss. I heard violins._

_Softly, silently, his hands ran over the soft skin in my arms, exploring, learning, even now calculating, but in a completely different context. He ran his nose down my neck, taking in my scent gently. He touched my hair, feeling its texture, and then ran his hands down my sides, my back. I didn't waste any time as he did this. I was also feeling the muscles of his arms, his chest, marvelling at how soft and firm his body was. It was quite inviting, and I realised with shock that I wasn't dreaming, that this was really happening. This made me a little nervous, but I reached up and touched his cheek, swallowing hard. My index finger ran from his forehead to his nose, and from there, to his velvet lips. I smiled._

_Gently, as if in a daze, he led me to my room. The sky had cleared a little, and the moon illuminated his body over mine. I was very nervous, but his touch made me feel I belonged here, with him. Soon, I was completely naked under him, and it was his turn to take his pants off._

_When I saw him completely undressed, I had to bite my lip to keep from gasping. I had never seen a man naked before. Hell, I wouldn't have understood what he meant by 'lust' earlier had Liz not explained what sex was one day we went out and some guys shouted obscene comments to us from a car. I hadn't understood a thing, and when we returned to Wammy's house, Liz locked the door and answered all my questions with extreme embarrassment._

_"What the hell is that thing?" I remember thinking. "Is it really going to fit in…" but then, he touched me in a way I never thought possible and ended my rationality. Everything fit where it was supposed to, and in the end I decided it was like a vaccine. Not pretty to look that, caused a bit of pain, but in the end managed to do the job. And boy, he did a good job…_

_Afterwards, he lay down on the bed beside me for a short while. The rain pounded gently on the window, and he didn't say anything. He just lay there, the moon bathing him in silver light, and I just couldn't believe what had happened. I left him to his own thoughts, and he left me to mine. I would have loved him to hug me, but he was Ryuuzaki. I took him for who he was, loved him for who he was. He wasn't a fluffy, clingy person, in fact, this had just been an accident. At least, I knew I wasn't completely out of his head, that made me happy. I would take him as he was, and accept the little drops of affection he gave me. I had no problem with that, as long as he allowed me to be beside him. He had something that kept me right there waiting, not like a dog but more like a loyal friend._

_At last, he stood up and walked to the door. At the threshold, he stopped, and turned to me, still naked, still slouching._

_"I am sorry for this. It was an accident, and it shall not happen again."_

_I smiled at him._

_"I'm fine with it, Ryuuzaki-kun. Just remember, I'll always be beside you, ready to help you if you fall. You can trust me. I… I may not be able to protect you, but I can support you, and be your friend." I smiled at him. He stood there for a moment, looking at me, and then whispered in a voice so low I could barely hear him:_

_"Thank you."_

_Then, he disappeared._


	9. His Point Of View

_Here's today's. Just a deeper glimpse at life with Lewis, five years after he was born, mainly from Matt's point of view. _

_ ------  
_

Life went on, even outside the orphanage. Matt never realized just how miraculous life was before watching little Lewis grow. From a baby, he became a toddler, and from that, a little child. As he grew, he looked more and more like his father, though there were little hints of his mother. He had the same spiky black hair of his father's, but his skin was the delicate creamy colour of his mother's. His eyes were also the same colour of his father's, but had the spark of life characteristic of his mother's. Whenever he smiled, Matt saw her, even in the small dimple in the right cheek. To Lewis, she was just another playmate. The kid trusted her with his little problems and insecurities, and she always listened politely and seriously. She never made fun of him, even when he began to use big, complicated words that sounded unnatural in a five-year old child. She was his mother, his best friend, his sanctuary, his teacher.

"She'd give her life for me." Matt thought one day. "She'd give her soul for Lewis."

He was surprised by how important the girl and her son became to him. Yes, he couldn't see her as anything more than an eighteen-year old girl. Five years, almost six, had passed since Lewis was born, and physically, she hadn't changed at all. Matt guessed Creators aged very slowly, if they aged at all. Matt himself had aged, becoming a lean, muscular man of nineteen. He was attractive, and he knew it, however, he seemed to have no effect on her. No one seemed to have any effect on her at all, not that way… though she did have an effect on many men. How could she not? She was tall, not excessively so, but just the right height. She wasn't really skinny, but slim and muscular, and when she moved she did it with an effortless grace that burnt into his mind every time he watched her. Her voice was musical, and when she sang, he felt at peace. He liked to pull her hair, since it was so silky and soft, but at the same time thick and strong. The girl was beautiful, that was evident, but there was one feature that made the others seem unimportant and forgettable. Her eyes.

Those eyes had a life of their own. They were usually a dark olive brown, but when she was sad, the colour seemed to drain from them and they became grey. When she was happy, they became an intense green that shone like stars in the night. Matt loved staring at them, and was surprised the first time he saw the same characteristic in Lewis' eyes, only his didn't turn green. On both intense happiness and intense sadness, the child's eyes turned silvery grey, and his expression mirrored his mother's in such a way he couldn't find the resemblance to his father at all.

Of course, the girl was far from perfect. She had many bad points, her worst being occasional childishness, and inability to remember anything scientific. They were mainly little quirks nothing mayor, and he could ignore them easily. What he couldn't stand was her thoughtlessness that put her in danger quite often. He couldn't understand how she was able to analyze every problem that could appear and hurt Lewis but ignored what could hurt her, even if she was a Creator.

Once, when they went to play at the local park, a dog got loose from a nearby house. It was one of those poor animals that are left tied for days without end, and that receive no love from their owners. It had run away by chance, and Lewis spotted it. He liked it and wanted to play with it, but the dog attacked him. Quick as lightning, she appeared from nowhere, and wrapped Lewis protectively in her arms. Matt could only watch as the dog gave her a horrible bite, but she didn't seem to realize it. She just turned to Lewis and with a look made sure he was still in one piece, then turned to the dog.

By now, Matt's surprise relented and he ran towards them, trying to scare the dog away. The animal saw him as a threat and jumped on him to attack him. Her voice rang out, calling his name:

"Matt!"

And there she was, in front of him, holding him close, protecting him with her body as the dog bit on her soft skin once again. As soon as it let her go, she turned and grabbed him by the collar. He tried to bite her again, but she managed to keep him at arm's length. She began to talk to him in a low, calm voice, and eventually the dog calmed down. She let him go and he left without a second glance. Without looking at her wounds, she looked for Lewis, who ran to her and hugged her.

"Are you ok, baby?" she asked, smiling brightly at him. Lewis nodded, and touched her hurt arm softly.

"Does it hurt?" he asked. She shook her head.

"It doesn't matter. It'll heal soon. It would have been a lot more painful for me if you or Uncle Matt had been hurt." She looked at the bloody arm and smiled. "I need to wash it before I heal it, or it could become infected anyway. Let's go back home." She picked Lewis up with her good arm and they went back, Lewis talking all the while. She listened to him with an expression of such adoration on her face it was evident in her world there was only Lewis.

They got home and Lewis ran to his room to do… something, Matt couldn't remember what. He went with her to the bathroom to help her clean her arm. As soon as the water touched the wound, she whimpered.

"I thought it didn't hurt that much." Matt said as he cleaned her arm.

"It hurts like hell, if you want me to be honest." He could actually see the tears in her eyes.

"Then why act all macho about it?" He demanded angrily. She smiled.

"I want to be Lewis' pillar of strength. Whenever he is weak and sad, whenever he can't go on and doesn't know what to do. I want him to know he will always find the strength he needs with me, I want him to know that even if the whole world deserts him, I won't. Therefore, I do my best to show him my strength, never my weakness." She yelped silently.

"And it's all right to show ME your weakness?" Matt asked, smiling.

"Why, of course. You're my best friend, and we give each other strength." She smiled at him and touched her arm with her finger, concentrating a little. Her arm healed in a few seconds.

"Nilla, I don't want you to do that ever again." Matt said seriously.

"Do what?" She asked puzzled.

"I don't want you to protect me like that ever again. I hate to see you getting hurt." He couldn't look at her in the eye. He was embarrassed and a bit nervous, although he couldn't understand why. "If someone needs to get in front of someone else, and take the blow… that person will be me." He stood up and dried her arm with a towel. "Come on, let's have dinner."

He went out of the bathroom and a few minutes later, she followed him, and she was quiet the rest of the meal.

They were a happy little family. In the mornings, Matt went to class, since he had enrolled in the local university. He was at last studying to become a doctor, and was the top of his class. The homework and the lectures were nothing compared with those at Wammy's house, so for him it was a breeze. When he got home in the evenings, she left to go to her computer courses. She suffered it, since she was terrible with anything that had to do with science and technology. It was as if her brain simply couldn't remember any of it. Still, she made a huge effort, and was beginning to overcome this, and Matt was ready to remind her in may ways it was thanks to him. Whenever she was discouraged, or about to burst into tears because she had spent all night studying and simply couldn't remember a single thing, he went in her room and comforted her. He hugged her sweetly and made her laugh until she was ready to try again.

Lewis didn't have an official occupation. He read a lot, played with the computer he'd been given on his fifth birthday, and thought. He was preparing himself because, in a few days, he would begin attending Wammy's House for class. He wanted to become a detective, and become the next L. Matt was sure he could make it. The kid was a genius that understood and learnt everything. He didn't seem to have any weak spots since his character was a perfect balance of both his parents. He had inherited all their good points, and was able to control the bad. He was a very good kid, who went everywhere with a smile, and had a very sweet childish innocence that Matt loved. He was very happy and also grateful to have a loving home to return to at the end of the day. It was something he had longed for ever since he was a small child. The orphanage was a good house, but it had never been a home.

Tonight, he sat on the couch in front of the TV, playing a game on his PlayStation. It was late already, Lewis was asleep since eight, and it was almost midnight. She sat on a chair in front of him, a book on her lap. She was asleep, and shivering visibly. He paused the game and stood up to take her to bed. As he approached, she fell to the side.

"Whoa!" he caught her and wrapped his arms around her. He carried her to her room, still asleep, and deposited her gently on the bed. She lay there, shivering, and he covered her with his vest. As he was leaving, he looked back at her and smiled. She looked so peaceful… So innocent… She looked just like Lewis. He went to the living room and turned off the game, then returned to her room and lay down beside her. Feeling his warmth, she drew closer to him. He wrapped an arm around her and fell asleep, wondering what she thought of him and what he really though of her.

Lewis woke after a horrible nightmare. Shivering and scared, he got up from bed and ran to his mother's room, searching for comfort. He found Mother and Uncle Matt fast asleep, hugging each other. Honestly, adults were so silly. Always bickering and teasing each other, when they really cared more than they were willing to show. Maybe they would realise it one of these days. He climbed on the bed with them and fell asleep between them, thinking Uncle Matt wasn't a bad substitute father at all. 


	10. Matt's Lessons

Mother held his hand lightly. She walked with her head held high, proudly, with a smile on her face. He observed her critically as they walked, wondering what made her beam with such happiness. She seemed to be glowing.

She felt his gaze and looked at him, still smiling, but with questioning eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked him, ruffling his hair gently.

"I was wondering why you were so happy." He answered. She laughed and picked him up, even though he felt he was starting to get too big for that.

"I'm happy because I'm with you." She answered. He smiled, feeling special, and pulled lightly on a strand of Mother's hair. He liked her hair. It was silky and soft.

"Where are we going?" Lewis asked, hugging his mother and feeling safe and comfortable.

"I'm going to drop you off at school. Afterwards, I'm going to class myself." She hugged him and giggled a little. "I'm excited… It's our first day of school."

They got to Wammy's house. Mother put him down and he took her hand, then let it go. He was going to school for the first time. He should be brave, and that included not holding Mother's hand. What kind of a man would he be otherwise? I mean, he was already five, quite the grown-up.

They got through the gate and some children stopped their games to look at him. They began to whisper among each other, and looked dark and unfriendly.

He felt a chill run down his spine. Hell, he was five years old! He's have time to be a man after this! He took Mother's hand. The whispering got worse.

"Mother, why are they whispering like that?" he asked in a low voice he could hardly hear himself. However, as always, Mother heard him.

"Probably because you look a lot like your father. Also, because you're not an orphan. Lewis, I told you this would be hard, remember?" Mother smiled at him. "However, you can do it. I know you'll be the best."

Lewis let the words sink in and nodded, determination flooding his face. Ever since he heard of who his father was, what he did for a living, he had decided he also wanted to be a detective, to take the title of L, and be even better than his father.

"I admit this is scary. However, I'll do my best. I have to fight for my dream!" He smiled at her and let go of Mother's hand. "That includes being a man."

"Don't you become a man too fast, you." Mother poked his ribs playfully. "I want you to be my baby a while longer."

"I wouldn't admit this to anyone but you, Mother." He said in a confidential tone as he motioned for her to come closer. "But I'll let you treat me like a baby even when I'm fifty. It's comforting to know someone will spoil you and love you no matter what."

Mother laughed, not mockingly as Uncle Matt did sometimes, but happily.

"I'm glad you see me like that. I'll spoil you all you want." She hugged him and kissed him. "I love you, Lewis."

For a moment, Lewis felt embarrassed. How would the other children respect him like this? They'd probably tease him worse than Uncle Matt did! Then, he decided he would have to win their respect, and it was easier to have courage with a kiss from Mother than without it. Plus (and he smiled mischievously at this), Uncle Matt had given him the best weapons in his insults arsenal when Mother wasn't looking.

They went inside the house and went to Roger's office. Mother left him there and, with another kiss and a hug, went out the door.

The instant she left his sight, his heart leapt to his throat and his mouth went dry. Roger led him to a class, talking all the way, but he didn't hear a single word. A few minutes later, he found himself sitting at a desk surrounded by older children that gave him weird looks, and waiting for a teacher to show up. He turned to his right, towards a window, and observed his reflection. Did he really look so much like Father? Whenever he saw his reflection, he saw Mother, not Father. He sighed and suddenly, realized two boys were standing before him, and he guessed they had been trying to talk to him but he hadn't heard them.

"I'm sorry, did you talk to me?" He asked. One of the boys frowned at him, then laughed.

"I guess it's probably a coincidence. You're not him." He laughed loudly.

"What do you mean?" Lewis asked, puzzled.

"I was worried that you were the one the rumours were talking about… L's son, and I was worried you would try to compete with me to be Near's successor." He smirked. "However, it's obvious you're too stupid for that."

The insult hurt. Lewis' pride was bruised, and he really wanted to punch the boy in the nose. However, he didn't just look like his father, he also had his self-control.

"You cannot judge how smart or how stupid I am just because I was too deep in thought to answer your question. In fact, just the action of being able to think deeply can be enough to qualify me as a smart human being to some people, whereas jumping into conclusions without really having evidence can qualify you as a stupid." Lewis smiled at the evident anger in the boy's face. "Mada mada dane."

The boy's face grew red, and suddenly, all hell broke loose.

"Damn!" I said, remembering the small package in my pocket. I really wanted to give it to Lewis in his first day of school… I checked my watch and decided I still had time to go back, give it to him, and get to my class on time. I ran to Roger's office, wondering if Lewis was still there. He wasn't, but Roger told me he'd lead me to his class.

"We just put him there because that's the class his father was at his age. I want to know how his abilities compare to L's." Roger explained. I shook my head.

"Lewis is not L. I'm not saying his father was smarter, I'm just telling you to look out. Lewis is Lewis. You never know what he'll do next. Trust me." I smiled as I reached for the doorknob to Lewis' class.

I opened the door and saw my five-year old on top of a boy almost twice his size, punching his nose and saying things that would make a grown sailor blush like a schoolgirl.

"I never imagined he'd do this, that's for certain." Roger said, and I could hear the laughter in his voice.

"LEWIS JEEVAS!" I shouted in surprise, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing myself. "What's going on here?"

Lewis' face grew red when he saw me, then pale.

"Mother…" He jumped up and brushed the dust from his pants quickly. He then outstretched a hand to help the other boy on the floor up. Perplexed, the boy accepted his help and climbed to his feet.

I didn't know what to do in this situation. However, I had a feeling Matt would be getting it later.

"Lewis, come with me." I ordered in a cold, steely voice.

Some of the boys began snickering. I turned and gave them my evilest look. They shut up instantly.

As soon as we were on the hallway, Lewis stammered:

"Mo-Mother… It's not what it seems…"

"So you weren't on the floor punching one of your fellow students and saying words I definitely didn't show you and I suspect you have absolutely no idea of what they mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I DO know what they mean… Uncle Matt explained…" Lewis stopped talking, and I suspect he had a sudden vision of his Uncle Matt dying a very painful death. "What I mean is that I did it in self-defence. First, he insulted my intelligence, then he insulted father. He couldn't piss me off, so he tried to hit me. That didn't work either, Uncle Matt taught me the dirtiest tricks someone could try on me, so I was prepared and countered them accordingly. But then…" Lewis' face grew red, and he closed his mouth angrily.

"And then what?" I asked, not Ungently.

"He said… bad things about you and Uncle Matt." Lewis' little hands closed into tight fists. "That I couldn't stand."

I was intrigued.

"Why did that bother you more than insults to your father?" I asked. Lewis was always asking about L, trying to know more about him. He idolized his memory, and got mad whenever Matt made jokes about him.

"Because he wasn't really talking about Father. He didn't want to believe I am L's son, and I suspect he respects him almost as much as I do. However, he said horrible things about Uncle Matt and you. Although they are not true, I couldn't stand him saying them. I…" He saw the unspoken question in my eyes, and whispered "Please don't make me repeat what he said."

I shook my head and hugged him.

"It's all right, then." I smiled. "I have a present for you."

He looked up surprised.

"You aren't going to punish me?" he asked.

"Lewis, I can't punish you for that! You were defending something you love, in this case Uncle Matt and me. It would be wrong for me to punish you for doing something I would have done, too. However, don't tell anyone I said that." I winked at him. "The one that's going to die is Uncle Matt for teaching you those words…" My expression grew grave. "Lewis, if I ever hear you say such words again, I WILL punish you. Do you understand?"

He nodded, and I smiled, satisfied.

"Here is the present I brought you."

I took the small package out of my pocket and gave it to him.

"Go on! Open it!"

He opened it with care, and his face grew in an expression of surprise and pleasure.

It was a small silver disk that had a chain so he could hang it around his neck. The disk had a simple pattern engraved on the edges, and a dragon in the centre, since Lewis loved dragons.

"Wow, Mother! I love it!" he exclaimed, but I raised a finger to shush him. I pressed a small button hidden in the disk and it popped open, revealing an inscription on one side and a picture on the other.

The inscription said "Doubt whom you will, but never yourself." He smiled at that, and smiled even more broadly when he saw the picture. It was one we took at the mall, at one of those instant-photo booths. It was of Matt, Lewis and me laughing together, side by side. It was a great picture. Lewis would never show it to anyone, since he knew almost all about Kira. It would be seen by just his eyes, and I had burnt the other copies.

"Mother, this is incredible! Thank you!" Lewis threw himself in my arms and hugged me. He then asked me to put it on. As I did it, he said "With this, if I ever get discouraged, I can remember in a second what my dream and my objective is. Thank you, Mother! But…" He paused for a moment. "I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything… but… don't you have Father's picture?"

I finished locking the chain around his delicate neck and shook my head.

"Sorry. There is no picture of your father in existence that I know of. However, if you ever want to see him… Just look in a mirror! You're identical to him!" I smiled. He just looked sad.

"Whenever I look into a mirror, I see you, not Father." He sighed as a teacher entered his classroom. "I have to go. We can continue this conversation later. Take care, Mother. Do your best! I'll do mine!" He gave me a quick kiss and went inside his classroom.

I stayed in the hallway, unmoving, for a long time, thinking. This son of mine…

After a while, I walked outside, not caring that I was way too late to make it to my own class. I'd go tomorrow, it didn't matter. I just thought of how could a five-year old be so mature, so wise… and know such foul language. I was proud and sad at the same time. I loved him so much, I didn't know what I would do if something happened to him. I would probably break apart, unable to do anything. I looked at the blue sky overhead and thought of Matt. I smiled. Whenever I didn't know what to do, he'd be my strength. I knew it, and was thankful.

I went back home and found Matt in the living room, a cigarette in his mouth, wearing only his Mario Bros. boxers and playing PlayStation.

"Whoa! Shouldn't you be in class?" He asked, running to his room to get properly dressed.

"Shouldn't you be smoking outside? Shouldn't you be helping with the cleaning? Shouldn't you be helping to properly bring up our child?" I counter-asked, going behind him but staying outside his room.

Matt emerged from his room with pants on and a shirt dangling from his hand, the cigarette gone.

"When did he become 'our child'?" he asked, puzzled.

"When he got your name, you gave him an alias and you said you'd be his father figure. However, no father would teach him insults that even a gangster would find shocking!" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Oh, so you found out about that…" He said, blushing a little. Matt was so sweet.

"No! You're trying to knock some sense into him! Don't think of him as a sweet guy!" I told myself angrily. I explained what had happened at Wammy's House earlier and Matt began to laugh loudly. I made a show of acting annoyed, but he knew I was dying to laugh too.

"Oh, come on, Nilla… It was funny." Matt gave me a little smile, knowing I wasn't overly angry any more. I let go and began laughing too, remembering. However, I soon sobered up and warned Matt not to teach him such stuff again.

"Really. Not even Mello said those things. What were you thinking?" I asked, going to the living room and making myself comfortable on the couch. He followed me.

"You don't know how it is. It's like a viper's nest, that orphanage. He's gonna need all the insults he can get." He shuddered and began pulling his shirt over his head.

"MATT!" I exclaimed, thinking it was no reason to teach Lewis such language. However, Matt, being Matt, replied:

"Fine. I won't put my shirt on. Jeez, you don't have to shout." He took the shirt off and smiled at me.

"Oh, no need to give me such a smug look. You have nothing to be proud about. I've seen better." I gave him an impish smile.

"Oh, yeah?" he asked, mirroring my expression and leaning towards me until our faces were very close.

"Yeah." He opened his mouth and I knew we were about to go into dangerous territory. I didn't want to.

"The point IS, Matt, that you could have been more subtle." I turned to the window and pulled up my knees, hugging them.

"Yeah, maybe." Matt put his shirt on at last and grabbed the controller, bored with the conversation already. I sighed. "I won't do it again I promise. Did you give him his present?" he asked. I nodded. "Did he like it?"

"He loved it."

"I'm glad." He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out another chain with a medallion.

"Here. I had this one made for you." He tossed it to me and kept playing. I observed it. It had a completely different pattern from Lewis', and in the centre, instead of a dragon, it had a star.

"Matt… It is beautiful… Thank you." I looked and sure enough, it had a button. I pressed it and it opened. It had two pictures inside, instead of a picture and an inscription. One was of Matt with Lewis. The other one was…

"L! This is a picture of L! Where did you get it?" I asked, surprised.

"Remember your old iPod?" he asked, smiling at me with a spark in his eyes I knew only too well. "Out of curiosity, I connected it to my computer and found some of L's files. It was on one of them."

"You…" I didn't know if I should strangle him or kiss him. I decided on doing neither and walked out of the room, holding the small medallion tightly in my hand.

He came behind me and grabbed my shoulder.

"You're not mad, aren't you?" he asked, concerned. I turned and he stared at me right in the eye. I blushed slightly.

"I don't know." I began to laugh. "I think you're sweet, but at the same time…" I gave him the medallion. He looked puzzled, then hurt. He thought I didn't want it!

"Please help me put it on." I smiled sweetly.

"Certainly."

He clipped it around my neck and we went back to the couch. As he played, I observed the two pictures.

I missed L. I felt I would die to see him again.

------------

There! That's today's chapter! I hope you liked it! Be good and review!

'Mada mada dane' is a phrase from Prince of Tennis. I couldn't resist making Lewis say that... Although since they are in London, the other boy probably didn't speak Japanese. Too bad... i just wanted to see it there. To those of you who haven't seen Prince of Tennis, it means "you still have lots more to work on". It's like a polite way of calling him loser. XD

Well, until tomorrow!


	11. Out Tonight!

She was so oblivious, he felt like spelling it out for her. How could she not realise they were meant for each other? Really. They showed it with every little thing they did. Like right now, Mother was mad at Uncle Matt for smoking in his room again. He said it was too cold to smoke outside, so he hadn't even opened a window. He had been playing with his DS on his bed when she went in to give him the new Naruto manga he had been craving all week. She had gone out to several stores looking for it, just to see his face light up when he saw it. As soon as she went in, the thick cloud of smoke drifted from his room and invaded the rest of the house. Mother was furious and Uncle Matt was mocking. She tossed the manga to him with a scathing sarcastic remark, and grabbed his pack of cigarettes. In an impulse, she tossed them out the window. He tossed the manga back at her and said he didn't need presents from such a hysterical woman. She looked away, the hurt evident in her eyes, and put the manga on the floor, saying she had spent several hours outside looking for it, so he might as well keep it. Uncle Matt looked away, feeling guilty, and stood up from the bed and wrapped his arms around her as she was leaving. He promised to never smoke inside again. She stiffened but blushed slightly, saying she was sorry for tossing the cigarettes out the window and her sarcastic tone. A minute later, they made up and went downstairs to watch a movie. Lewis pretended to read a book about dragons, observing them all the while with a small smile on his lips.

Mother was funny when watching movies, it was as though she didn't realise they weren't real. She gasped, suffered, laughed and seemed to feel everything along with the characters. Uncle Matt had to hug her several times, since she was so upset. However, he didn't seem to mind, and stroked her hair gently as she buried her face on his shirt, saying she couldn't watch. Still, she peeked, since she couldn't bear NOT watching. Uncle Matt ruffled her hair and teased her, and that got them started again. In the end, the movie was left unwatched and they fell asleep sitting in the couch, Mother resting her head on Uncle Matt's shoulder and his arm wrapped around her.

Uncle Matt seemed completely aware of his feelings for Mother. His soul seemed to say everything with his eyes. Anyone would be able to see it. Anyone except Mother, that is. He could see the denial in her face every time she looked at Uncle Matt, turning away from the truth in disbelief. Lewis had never seen the relationship between her mother and father, although he knew she loved him very much. However, he couldn't believe it was more perfect than this. They balanced each other completely in such a way it frustrated him completely. Really. Mother could observe the smallest things and reach impressive conclusions that awed even him, but was completely unable to acknowledge her feelings. Was the reason, even after all this years, Father?

I was restless. I couldn't go to sleep. I tossed and turned, unable to relax. I looked at the clock beside my bed. 10:17. At last, I gave up and got out of bed. I turned on the lights and went to my closet, looking at the clothes inside. With a smile, I chose an outfit and put it on, brushed my hair, put on my makeup, then went to Matt's bedroom.

Matt was snoring loudly. Five days ago, he'd bought the new Resident Evil: Rebirth of the Umbrella Corporation, a game that was supposed to be impossible to finish before a week. The world's best gamers had tried their luck with it, but so far, no one had been able to complete it before seven days. Matt got ahead of his studies, so he'd be able to miss a week's worth of classes (The perks of being a genius!). Then, he bought the game and took it home. As soon as he went through the door, he called for a meeting in the living room. Lewis and Nilla sat down before him, with serious expressions on their faces, and listened. He explained this was a matter of honour and duty, and he needed their full cooperation to be the first to finish the game before the seven days were over. Nilla nodded and promised to bring him food and drinks so he wouldn't have to get up and make them himself, losing precious time. Lewis promised not to come asking him to play or help with his homework, and satisfied, Matt nodded gravely and reverently unwrapped the game from its package and put it in his PlayStation to begin.

He did it. Thanks to the full cooperation and help Lewis and Nilla gave him, and his own ability at gaming, he managed to finish the game with all the weapons, all the zombies killed, the extra outfits and secret characters unlocked and a hit ratio of 98 in five days. He was the best gamer in the world! Exhausted but proud of himself, he turned off the PlayStation and dragged himself to bed. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, and he was so tired he didn't even dream.

Eight hours later, it seemed his brain activities were starting up again, because a weird dream began. Nilla came into his room and gently shook him awake, saying his name softly.

"Matt… Matt…"

In the dream, he groaned and turned over, trying to get away from her. He wanted to sleep.

"Matt…"

He gave in and faced her, opening his eyes and catching a glimpse of her in the moonlight. He sobered up instantly. It wasn't a dream, thank God.

She looked beautiful. She was wearing a short black skirt with a black sleeveless blouse and a pair of black boots. Her dark hair was loose around her shoulders, framing her face in a delicate way. The darkness of her outfit contrasted with the silver medallion around her neck and silver earrings. He had never seen her look this good before. A delicate scent of lavender reached his nose and he had to control the urge to pull her to him.

"What is it, Nilla?" he asked, doing his best to keep his voice under control.

"Let's go out. I can't sleep and feel like dancing." She pulled on his hand. "Come on, Matt."

"Nilla… I'm exhausted… and I have class tomorrow." He tried to get his hand back but it was no use.

"Tomorrow is a Saturday. You have no classes. Come on, you can sleep all day tomorrow." She gave him a mischievous smile. "Plus, I bought you something." She handed him a can of Red Bull.

He decided she really wanted to go out if she was bribing him with this. Matt loved to drink Red Bull, but it made him hyperactive. He jumped around, laughed like a maniac, sang in his loudest voice, and became unpredictable. Once, he even picked Nilla up and, with her in his arms, began to run to the park. She held on to him, scared that he would drop her, and begged him to stop and put her down. He paid no attention and when he got to the park, decided it would be a good idea to jump in the duck pond. They got soaked and a hefty fine, and so, Red Bull became banned in the house.

He took the can greedily and said he'd get dressed in a moment.

He emerged from his room dressed in his usual clothes.

"That won't do!" Nilla took his goggles off, pulled him back into the room and looked inside his closet. She found a pair of black pants, a black shirt and a red jacket and told him to put them on. He didn't argue, he was too sleepy. When he was done, she played a little with his hair until it had the look she wanted.

"There! Now you look good for a night out!"

I was sorry to wake Matt, especially since he was so tired, but I didn't want to go out without him. All these years, he had been my partner in crime and my best friend. I didn't want to go out on an adventure without him (The fact that he was tall and strong helped, too, since I always managed to get in trouble). I took out the can of Red Bull I kept hidden in case there was an emergency and needed to bribe him to do what I wanted. At last, he agreed to come with me and got dressed. However, I wasn't happy with his outfit. It was his usual, and too plain for a night out. I gave him clothes suitable for tonight and waited outside his room. When he emerged, I was more than surprised. Could this really be Matt… My best friend Matt? He looked great, more than I dared to accept, even to myself. I became suddenly aware of how much he had grown, and that he wasn't a kid anymore, but an adult, one that knew me, supported me, was always by my side and whom I adored. I wondered when he'd become this handsome young man, one that made me blush like a schoolgirl…

"Stop! This is MATT! Don't go into dangerous waters… It would mean disaster!" an inner voice warned me, so I pushed the thoughts aside.

We went to the car and drove around the city. I looked for a club or something, eager to have a drink, dance, meet people, everything. Plus, I wanted to dance with Matt…

"STOP!" I shouted inside my head, shaking it violently. "Weren't you going to get that out of your head?!" I was starting to get on a bad mood. I really had to grow up and stop thinking dumb things. As if Matt would ever care about me… It was impossible.

At last, we found a small club. The sign overhead read 'Second Chance' and I felt it was strangely fitting. I asked Matt to park and we went in.

From the moment I went in, I felt the adrenalin course through my body. It was dark, I smelled the smoke of several cigarettes, and saw interesting people both on the bar and on the dance floor. The music was good, it had a catchy rhythm and interesting lyrics. This was what I was looking for. I grabbed Matt and pulled him to the dance floor. He didn't resist, and we began to dance. It turned out he was a great dancer. He grabbed me, twirled me, did this, did that… I was laughing and having so much fun I felt in a dream. We should do this more often!

He was very sleepy, and yawned as she pulled him into the club. She dragged him to the dance floor, and he smiled, seeing her beaming face, in perfect happiness. She shouted:

"Come on, Matt! Dance with me!"

He felt his body begin to wake up, and he obeyed. He was amazed by the way her smile lit up her face, and seemed to make him smile too. He wondered if it was just the dancing, or if his presence had anything to do with it.

As he danced, he wondered if L had ever made her this high, made her feel this real… He knew she still cried for him sometimes, and felt like asking her if he ever really knew the way she felt. He wondered, with a pang of self-distrust, if he could ever get her to care for him.

After a while, we got tired and went to the bar for a drink. Matt was no longer sleepy, and, in fact, he looked very happy.

"How come we'd never done this before?" he asked, taking a sip out of his vodka.

"I don't know. I just felt like doing this tonight." I smiled. "I'm glad I could drag you out of bed."

We drank and danced for about an hour and a half, until, suddenly, Matt began to look a bit sick.

"Nilla… I'm going to the bathroom. I-… I'll come back in a second." He looked a bit green, and rubbed his temples with a hand.

"Want us to go home?" I asked, concerned. He shook his head, and walked away.

I went back to the bar, feeling a bit concerned about Matt. A man sat beside me.

"Why are you so alone?" he asked me, smiling with his mouth but not with his eyes.

"My friend is in the bathroom." I answered, and went back to my drink.

"You could pass time with me." He winked at me and put a hand on my arm. I snatched it.

"Bog off. I don't want to pass time with you."

He grabbed my arm again.

"Maybe you don't have a choice."

I got loose from his grip and stood up. I tossed some bills on the bar and went towards the bathrooms to wait for Matt. We were going somewhere else.

The man grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back, shouting:

"Pay attention when I'm talking to you!"

Out of nowhere, a fist connected with his face.

"Don't treat her like that." Matt said, angrily. He gently put his arm around my waist and led me out.

"Matt… are you feeling better?" I asked, concerned. He nodded, and I saw he did look better. We got in the car and as soon as he got behind the wheel, he passed out.

"Matt? Matt?" I asked, my voice filled with panic. "Matt!"

I heard a tap on my window. I turned and saw the man from the bar again. I got out of the car.

"You put something in his drink, didn't you?" I asked coolly.

"Yes. Now no one will come save you." He reached for me.

"Who says I need saving?" I smiled and kneed him in the balls, then hit the side of his head, hard. He fell to the floor, unconscious. "I'll tell you a secret. I don't need rescuing. I like to see Matt concerned about me, I like him to rescue me, even though I don't really need it. Lately, I've begun to care for him so much, it's scary…" I laughed, relaxing. As I'd heard before, 'The truth will set you free'. "There. I've been honest at last, and said it aloud." I smiled to myself, then went inside the car. Gently, I put Matt in the passenger's seat and drove back home. Here came the hard part.

"Matt… Matt…" I whispered, shaking him lightly. "Matt? Wake up."

I got no response at all. I sighed and pulled him out.

I am not weak. I am quite strong, and am able to carry heavy stuff. However, Matt wasn't just heavy. He also was taller than me. Carrying him inside the house was difficult. At last, I got to the living room and dumped him as gently as I could on the couch. I closed the door and took a deep breath. The couch was too small for Matt to sleep there, he'd be uncomfortable. Therefore, I had to carry him up the stairs and leave him in his bed, then stay awake to make sure he'd be all right, and the substance the guy gave him didn't hurt him.

Once again, I picked him up and with great effort, began hauling him up the stairs, trying not to make noise so as not to wake Lewis up.

"Honestly… He's heavier than he looks…" At last, we were at the top pf the stairs. However, his room was the last one in a long hallway. This was going to suck.

As I got to his room, I felt him move.

"Nilla…" he whispered, and he stood up by himself. I was glad, since I was about to drop him.

"Matt! Are you all right?" I asked, turning to look at him, but ready to catch him if his knees gave way.

"I… I feel weird… what happened? How did I get here?" he asked, and I helped him to his room.

"Just… this guy put something in your drink. Nothing serious, though. Or at least it doesn't look to serious." I smiled at him. "I think you just need some sleep."

He stopped walking and looked at me. We were standing before his bed.

"Nilla…"

"Matt..." I looked at him questioningly, nervous, hoping he really was all right.

He gave me a silly grin, and I frowned. He looked a bit drunk to me…

"Nilla… Nilla… Nilla…" Suddenly I was in his arms, and he was hugging me tightly. "For the first time, I can be honest. Is it the alcohol? I don't know." He laughed, and now I was sure he was drunk. He let me go and with his hand, raised my head so I was looking at him. He smiled. "You know? I… For a long time…" He paused, and seemed to be trying to put his ideas in order. At last, he opened his mouth again. Then, he whispered in such a low voice I could barely hear him "Nilla, I… I think I'm going to pass out again…" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his eyes closed and he fell forward. His weight was too much for me and I fell back, thankfully landing on his bed. However, he was too heavy, and I had difficulty breathing.

At last, I managed to get out from under him. Half of him was lying on the bed, the other half on the floor. With a last effort, I pulled him on the bed and, exhausted, let myself drop beside him. I fell asleep instantly.

He woke up around six AM with a horrible headache. He sat up, groaning, and was surprised to find Nilla lying beside him, sound asleep. She was shivering, as her little skirt and sleeveless blouse gave her no warmth. She still had her boots on, and looked extremely uncomfortable. He gently took them off and put her under his covers so she'd be warmer. Then, he went to get some aspirin.

"I almost… I'm glad I passed out when I did… I almost confessed I…" he shook his head angrily, vowing never to drink again, as he poured himself a glass of water. "I'm glad she was worried about me, though." Smiling to himself, he took his aspirin, put his glass in the sink and went back to bed. Drawn to his warmth, she got closer. Wrapped in her soft, sweet lavender smell, he fell asleep.

-------  
There. That's it for today. I've been more than hinting about a relationship between Matt and Nilla, but I'm not too sure about it… I honestly can't decide if it would be a good idea. There are too many ideas in my head right now… This sucks. Be good and tell me what you think. :)

Well, enough of this. Until tomorrow!

And let's hope Hamilton can race on Sunday! Good luck to him! (For those that don't know what I'm talking about, Lewis Hamilton is my favourite F1 driver, and he had an accident today... I was DYING… But he's fine, thank God… XD. By the way, I love this guy so much, I gave Nilla's son his name as an alias… but I think you noticed that already… Ok, enough F1...)


	12. Revelations

I'm sorry for not posting a chapter yesterday, but I left the house early and went to the movies with my best friend, and returned very late. The chapter wasn't ready, it was missing a few details, and I didn't want to post something so incomplete. Anyway, here it is.

As a suggestion from Cursa, the best beta reader ever, I looked up the japanese equivalent of Creator, and found the word Sozoumeshi. From this chapter on (And sometime I shall go back to correct the others), instead of Creator I will use the word Sozoumeshi. XD

There's also a new separation between points of view, you'll see it. It was confusing to have them all mushed together, so I've begun to separate them (I'll also correct that in earlier chapters... someday).

I wonder... Did I have to clear up anything else...? Oh, yeah! I hope you like Frank Sinatra... I was in a Sinatra mood today and just HAD to add the song... You'll see what I'm talking about later on...

---

"Mom, can I bring a friend over after school?" Lewis asked at breakfast.

"Sure." Mother answered, smiling at him. "Who is it? Have I heard of him before?"

"Or is it a girl?" Uncle Matt asked, leaning on the table to get closer to him. "If it is a girl, I can give you advice. I know lots about women... and I got that knowledge from experience." He winked at Lewis.

"Stop being such a liar, Uncle Matt. There is one girl you like, and she is completely oblivious of your intentions. I'm sure I could do better than that." Uncle Matt gave him a murderous look, but Lewis answered with an angelic smile.

"Really? Is there a girl you like?" Mother asked Uncle Matt, surprised. Lewis couldn't help noticing the slight blush on her cheeks, and how she knocked over her cup of coffee. So obvious.

"Yeah… but she doesn't like me back. As Lewis said, she's completely oblivious." Uncle Matt answered as he used a paper towel to clean up the mess, his hands shaking a little.

"Honestly, you two…" Lewis whispered, as he stood up, leaving the kitchen to go wash his teeth and grab his backpack.

Today, it was Uncle Matt's turn to drive him to school.

"Am I… am I really that obvious?" Uncle Matt asked, his face growing red, and lighting a cigarette. They were almost at Wammy's House.

"Yep. However, she seems completely lost in space, but so are you, Uncle Matt." Lewis answered, tired with the situation. "It's obvious she returns your feelings."

Uncle Matt almost choked on his cigarette. In fact, he almost swallowed it. Lewis tried to hide a smile at his uncle's expression, but it was no use.

"Do you really think so?" Uncle Matt asked, surprised. Lewis nodded.

"Yes, I think so. You both are impressive. I can't believe you don't notice." Lewis crossed his arms over his chest and stared straight ahead.

Uncle Matt sighed but said nothing. At last, they got to Wammy's House and, as he got out, Lewis said:

"You should make a move soon, Uncle Matt. I've been hearing Victor's name too much these days." He winked at his uncle and ran through the gate.

It was a lie. His mother had mentioned Victor, her classmate, just once. However, someone had to get them moving. She was too shy on these matters, and Uncle Matt too cautious. These adults…

A boy met him at the door.

"Hello, Jeevs." He smiled. It was Lewis' best friend, Josh. He was the boy that had teased him and whom he'd given a bloody nose in his first day. Strangely enough, in spite of that, or probably because of that, they had become best friends. Josh was twelve, and much taller than Lewis. He had light-brown hair and golden eyes, along with a big mouth that seemed permanently fixed in a mocking expression. Before Lewis got there, Josh had been the top student at the orphanage Now, they had a fiery competition inside the classroom and a strong friendship outside it. They understood each other perfectly, and were a great team.

Josh called Lewis 'Lewis' at first, just like everyone else. However, he soon grew tired of it and began calling him Jeevas, which soon evolved into 'Jeevs'.

"Hey, Josh." Lewis returned the greeting and smiled broadly. "Wanna come over to my house tomorrow after class? You can stay the weekend."

Josh was surprised. He had been in the orphanage ever since he was three years old, and since then, he'd never been in another house. He nodded dumbly and said:

"Sure. Why not?"

He was curious about life somewhere else, family life, if he'd fit in. He really liked Lewis, but he admitted to himself, in the bleak hours of dawn, that he was a little jealous of him. What Josh wanted most in the world was a home to return to, somewhere he would be hugged protectively and lovingly. Lewis had it, and Josh craved one just like that so much, it sometimes scared him.

.  
.  
.  
_Matt thought about it._ Maybe Lewis was right… Maybe he should make a move. The idea that some Victor could come and… It was too horrible to even think about. He would do better to come up with an idea to make sure she wouldn't reject him or something… He didn't want to mess up their friendship, it would be too uncomfortable. Therefore, he would probably…

"Matt! Are you listening?" She pulled on his arm. "You already drove past Wammy's House."

"Damn! Sorry!" He said, coming back down to Earth. He had been so deep in thought, he hadn't noticed where he was going. He drove around the block one more time.

It was Friday Evening, around five o-clock. The sun's rays illuminated the world lazily and bathed everything in molten gold. Slowly, they were beginning to fade, and the dark blanket of night began to cover the world. Matt gave Nilla a sideways glance and smiled. She was eating the world with her big eyes wide open and an awed smile on her face.

At last, Matt stopped in front of the orphanage. Lewis and Josh were already at the gate with their stuff. Nilla and Matt got out of the car and greeted them.

"Hi! What's your name?" Nilla asked Josh kindly.

"I'm Josh. Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Jeevas." Josh said, blushing a little.

"Mrs. Jeevas! I like how that sounds!" Matt thought, smiling to himself, and was surprised when he heard Nilla say the exact same thing out loud.

"Wait… You like it? What do you mean by that?" Matt asked, turning to her so fast his neck actually hurt. Could it be… it was her way of telling him she…?

"I like how Jeevas sounds. That's all." She answered innocently, and Matt felt someone had poured cold water on him. He picked up the boys' bags and put them in the trunk.

They got home and Lewis showed Josh the room they had prepared just for him while Nilla and Matt prepared dinner. Matt liked cooking, in fact, he was an excellent cook. Nilla still made mistakes, but he managed to spot them and correct them, guiding her until, together, they created a delicious meal.

Today, they were preparing spaghetti. Matt gave her directions and she obeyed, as always, but something felt different. She looked… Less cheery.

"Are you ok?" Matt asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. She flinched.

"Yeah, I'm all right. Why wouldn't I be?" she smiled at him and he saw 'LIE!' written all over her face.

"You're lying." He said quietly, slightly hurt that she wouldn't tell him. All these years, they had shared everything, except of course, their love lives. Yet, there was something bothering her and she wouldn't tell him what.

"I'm fine, Matt. I just…" she sighed. "I guess I'm just tired."

He knew her enough to realise this was a half-truth.

"Tired of what?" he pressed on.

She looked up at him, her eyes shining grey. That meant she was saddened by something.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot tell you. I… I think that, if you knew, you'd be too uncomfortable, and that's something I really don't want."

Matt thought about this for a second. How could she make him uncomfortable?

"I don't know what it is, but I hate to see you worry." He said at last. He stroked her hair gently, and smiled down at her. "I can't think of a single thing you could say or do that would make me uncomfortable." He bent down and kissed her forehead.

When he looked into her eyes again, he was surprised at the change that came over them. They were green… a beautiful, shiny green. This meant she was as happy as she could get.

"Hang on… What did I do that was so special she became this happy?" he wondered. "I only stroked her hair and kissed her forehe…" His brain suddenly seemed jammed in neutral as the truth dawned on him. Then, it began running a thousand miles a second. "Lewis was right! I mean, she's… Oh my God, I need to sit down…"

"Matt? Matt, are you all right? Matt?" She was shaking his arm lightly. He gave her a huge smile.

"I'm more than fine, I just felt dizzy for a moment. Let's finish this."

They began to cook. He supervised the sauce while she watched over the spaghetti. At last, it was ready. Still, he didn't really care, he wasn't really paying attention. He was wondering how to make his move, since if he did something now it wouldn't be too romantic… Much less with two hungry kids upstairs… but he felt like dancing!

While she set the table, he went to the living room and put on a Frank Sinatra CD. He pressed forward until he got to the song he was looking for, turned the volume up and went back to the dining room.

"I've got you… Under my skin…" he sang along with Sinatra. "I've got you deep in the heart of me… So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me… I've got you under my skin…" He grabbed Nilla and began to twirl her around. She laughed, saying:

"What's come over you? Who are you and what did you do with Matt?"

"Come on! Have fun!" He tickled her a little and went to the kitchen for the pot of spaghetti. Nilla called Lewis and Josh down to dinner, and all the while, Matt kept singing along.

"I would sacrifice anything come what might  
For the sake of having you near  
In spite of the warning voice that comes in the night  
And repeats how it yells in my ear  
Don't you know, little fool  
You never can win  
Why not use your mentality  
Step up, wake up to reality  
But each time I do just the thought of you  
Makes me stop just before I begin  
'Cause I've got you under my skin  
Yes, I've got you under my skin…"

Nilla just laughed,

"You know, Matt? I love you, but your singing's dreadful." She smiled teasingly.

"I don't care." He answered, and served the spaghetti as the boys sat down. "You know you like me anyway."

_I gasped._

"Rem!" I whispered urgently. "What did that mean? What were you doing there? And what's this about a notebook of death?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as low as possible. I was at the park, and it was the day after Higuchi was killed. Lawliett had learnt about the Death Note and the Shinigami. I also had a serious talk with him and told him all about the Sozoumeshi. He asked many questions, but I couldn't tell if he was repelled by me or not. In the morning, he sent me out to buy more chocolate since he'd run out. Rem followed me, and we ended at the park.

"I was there because I haunt the notebook. I have to be close to it, and Higuchi had it. That notebook is the tool Shinigami use to kill people." Rem answered, but I already knew that.

"You're hiding information from me, Rem. That's not fair, since I've hidden no information from you at all." I frowned. "I suspect many things right now, and I don't like it. That's why I…" I looked at her with pleading eyes. "I want you to promise… You won't kill L."

Rem gasped, and then shook her head.

"I promise." She whispered, then smiled bitterly. "So you've found someone too? I'd warn you to be careful. Throughout the ages, Sozoumeshi that have fallen in love with humans have faced only misfortune. I hope it'll be different for you."

"Thank you, Rem. Let's go back." I slipped my arm through hers and began to walk out of the park.

"Wait." Rem said suddenly, "There's something I must tell you."

"What is it?" I asked, puzzled.

"If someone writes your name in the Death Note, you won't die. However, if the person is stronger than you, he or she will be able to absorb your Sozoumeshi powers without their restrictions, and you'll become human. That will only happen if you're exhausted, so do your best not to overwork, and sleep outside every full moon." She began moving again.

"What?" I whispered, but she wad already gone back to headquarters. I stood there, thinking, for a second, then a chill went down my spine. To have Kira become a Sozoumeshi… If he was trying to become a god, and he gained my long life, it would be a horrible disaster.

I shook my head violently. I simply would have to be careful, and use the powers to a minimum. That meant no singing, no music no creating of any kind until L caught Kira. After that…

I went back to headquarters, deep in thought.

"Nilla-san… Please come here." L called. I stood up and obeyed. He was at the main research room, before the many computers and screens.

"Yes? Do you need something?" I asked with a smile. He just looked at me, then back at the screens.

"What were you doing?" he asked. I frowned, finding this an odd question, and answered:

"I was reading."

"Please come read here, then."

Puzzled, I went back to the other room and grabbed my book. It was about Ayrton Senna, a great racer that died in 1994 and I had begun to admire. I put the book on the floor and lay down before it, as I had done in the other room. I looked questioningly at Ryuuzaki.

"Please continue reading quietly." He said in response to my look.

"Ryuuzaki, why do you…" I began but he interrupted me.

"I feel tense and lonely. I have a bad feeling." He answered. "I just want company, even if we don't talk."

I nodded and looked down at my book. I tried to read but couldn't concentrate.

"Oh, screw this!" I said closing the book angrily. I stood up and grabbed Ryuuzaki's hand. "Come with me."

I dragged him to my room and pointed to the bathroom.

"Take off all your clothes and lie down on the bed." He gave me a puzzled look and put a thumb in his mouth, a small smile on his lips. "It's nothing perverted. Now obey." I felt my cheeks reddening a little. As he went to the bathroom, I closed the door to my room and grabbed the remote control for the speakers (Since I loved music so much, Ryuuzaki put a surround system in my room). I turned it on and connected my iPod, selecting a playlist that only contained relaxing instrumental music.

I went to my shelf and grabbed a little bottle of lavender-scented oil and lavender-scented candles. When I turned, I saw Ryuuzaki was back, naked except for a towel wrapped around his middle. He lay down looking at the ceiling. "Turn over." I ordered, and he obeyed. I felt a bit in control. I lit some candles and put them in different sides of the room, then poured oil into my hands. I began giving him a massage.

"Your shoulders are really tense." I observed, but said nothing more. I continued with the massage and, after the first half hour, he began to relax. He even closed his eyes and made little noises of contentment. I smiled. He was so cute.

I worked for nearly two hours. My muscles hurt, but he seemed pleased. He was almost asleep.

I got a towel and cleaned off the excess oil, then turned off the light. He looked so relaxed and contented that I decided not to interrupt him. I turned the knob, deciding to go somewhere else to sleep so he wouldn't have to move.

"Nilla-san, please stay." He said, and my hand dropped the knob in a flash. I walked back to the bed and saw he had made a space for me. I lay down beside him, feeling strange. I was relaxed by the soft lavender smell, but having him so close to me made my heart race.

"Are you feeling better, Ryuuzaki-san?" I asked.

"A little." He answered. "I still have a bad feeling, but I don't feel quite so lonely. Thank you."

"You're welcome, but… What kind of a bad feeling is it?" I asked, looking at him in concern.

"I am going to die soon, Nilla-san." He answered, and I will never forget the sadness in his voice.

"Don't say that! Of course you're not going to die!" In my own fear, I sounded almost angry.

"We must all die someday. It's a part of life. However, I wish it wasn't this soon." He was smiling at me, and I couldn't understand it. How could he say such things with a smile? What was wrong with him?

His hand reached out and he stroked my cheek gently.

"Thank you, Nilla-san. You really have been a wonderful friend to me."

He was saying good bye, as if he really believed he was going to die soon! I felt like crying, and wanted to hug him so tightly it would be impossible to tear us apart. Gently, I got closer and kissed him. It was a plea, a confession, a denial, and a victory when he began to kiss me back. I ran my finger down his cheek, over his eyebrows, down his neck. I was trying to memorize all of him like this, and at the same time trying to keep him with me. I felt him respond, but deep down, I knew I would lose him. Still, I did my best with my hands, my arms, my legs, my everything, to forget, and just enjoyed the moment, enjoy Ryuuzaki. Years later, I could still remember that night vividly, every detail, every sensation, every drop of sweat.

Later, tired and between wet sheets, he smiled at me as he fought to stay awake. I had never seen him be so human before.

"Nilla-san… I'm going to tell you a secret. My name is L Lawliett." Right after that, he fell asleep. I was amazed. He looked so peaceful, so innocent… It broke my heart to think that he could be torn apart from me.

"Apart from you?" A mocking smile inside my head said. "This was an accident. You should remember that. You're always behind him, never beside him. He's in a completely different world, where no one can reach him."

"I don't care." I answered the voice. "I'll b there with him every step of the way, and I'd follow him to hell itself. I might never be beside him, but behind him, I can catch him if he falls back. I don't need anything else because he's like that, and I've known it from the beginning. If he can be so brae when facing his own death, I shall be brave living on."

---

There! The first part of the chapter was too silly and I'm not overly happy with it, but it's getting late and if I rewrite it I won't have this up today, so there.  
Sigh. 


	13. Apple Pie

Mother dropped him off at the orphanage and went back home. She had an exam tomorrow, later, an important one. She was going to study some more. As she ran through the gate, Lewis called out:

"Good luck in your exam, Mother! You'll be just fine, I know it!"

"Isn't it weird that you're her kid, but the one wishing her good luck?" Josh said, appearing next to him.

"It's not really that strange." Lewis said, smiling at his friend. "She's my Mother, and I want her to do well on her exams, so why not say it? She has studied a lot, but her self-confidence is non-existing, to put it simply. However, she isn't one to give up."

Josh snorted and went inside the school building, and Lewis followed him, slightly annoyed at his lack of tact. He'd thought Josh liked Mother a little, specially since she always invited him to sleep over at the house, and once, Josh confided to him he felt he had a real family when he stayed over, since Mother and Uncle Matt made him feel that he belonged.

"Jeev, what was your Mother's cell phone number again?" Josh suddenly asked. Lewis dictated the number and Josh nodded.

"Why do you need it?" Lewis asked, intrigued.

"I'm sending her a 'Good luck'." Answered Josh, putting his cell phone away. Lewis smiled, satisfied, and they went to class.

.

I went inside the house and ran to my room, ignoring Matt calling me from the kitchen. I pounced on the bed, landing beside my open textbook and began absorbing information as well as I could. When it came to sciences, I damned my Creator blood, since it somehow made it impossible for me to memorize it as fast as a normal human being. I had to try thrice as hard, and even then, I seldom learnt anything. Luckily, when something did manage to stick to my brain, it couldn't be removed. These small pieces of information were what kept me from failing the course.

"Didn't you hear me calling you?" Matt came inside the room, and he sounded annoyed. "I prepared breakfast for you."

"Matt, I don't have time for breakfast. I have to finish studying! No matter how much time I spend doing this, only the smallest bits of information stay inside my brain. I'm terrified, and the exam is just five hours away!" I gave him a panicked look, then stifled a laugh. He was standing there with a huge purple apron with pink and yellow flowers. He looked incredibly funny.

"I'll help you study, and I promise all the info will stay in your brain, were it belongs. But first, you need breakfast." Matt answered impatiently.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it, but I don't need help nor breakfast." His tone made me angry, and my pride wouldn't let him fight my battles for me or help me.

"I took the time to prepare a delicious breakfast for you, so you can at least make the time to eat it." Matt was getting angry. I liked seeing his annoyed face, so I grinned impishly and replied:

"You sound like such a housewife, Matt. You also look like one, with that apron."

In a second, he had grabbed me in his arms and was carrying me downstairs to the kitchen.

"No housewife can do this. Now, you're eating your breakfast. I'm not about to let you faint from lack of food during the exam. You're too much of a child, Nilla."

As if I was a baby, he put me in his lap and began feeding me with a spoon. He'd made orange juice, cut some fruit, and put out some tuna salad.

"What's this?" I asked, annoyed.

"This will help your brain. Just eat." He forced his spoon inside my mouth. I made a face and chewed, but liked how Matt was worrying about me. He was skipping some of his college classes just to help me today. I was really thankful to him, although I felt I couldn't say it out loud. He would probably think something else…

"Tell him anyway. He might like it." A voice in my brain said. I sighed inwardly and smiled at Matt.

"Thank you. You really are too patient with me." I ran a finger down his cheek. "I'll pay you back some day."

He looked at me in surprise, as if he hadn't expected me to be thankful. His cheeks got a little pink and he ruffled my hair roughly, forcing my head down so I couldn't look at him.

"I don't really care either way." He continued feeding me, although I could have done it myself, and he made an effort not to look me in the eye. I just smiled, happy. Matt was impressive.

.

"Come on, Jeevs. We just have half an hour of recess. At your pace, we won't get back in time." Josh complained, grumpily. Lewis ignored him and kept walking at his own pace, observing everything around him with a smile. It was a beautiful day, and he couldn't help being awed by everything.

They had just gotten out of class, and had permission to go to a nearby bakery to buy themselves some treats. Lewis, like his father, loved cake, although he was careful not to eat too much of it, since it made him a bit sick. It was such a shame… However, one slice a day wasn't bad.

At last, they got to the bakery and went in. The little old woman behind the counter already knew them, since they came practically every day. She greeted them with a wink but kept on talking with a customer. It was a tall Japanese man, and couldn't be more than 26 years old, observed Lewis. His hair was brown, and had fine features, and was wearing a dark business suit and dark shoes. He was trying to explain something to the old woman in a not-too-polite tone.

"I just want some water, lady. I am in a hurry. I don't want to eat any cake."

"Oh, but sir… It is a gift. Please take it. You look stressed, and this will soothe you. It is made with special ingredients, that will…" the old lady explained in her calm, kind voice. The man grew exasperated and slammed some bills on the counter and turned to leave, muttering in Japanese. The little old woman looked hurt, she had only been trying to help. Lewis felt his blood boil. He couldn't stand this foreigner treating her like that.

"Excuse me, sir." He said in perfect Japanese, grabbing the older man's sleeve. "I believe you owe her an apology. She was kindly giving you a gift, and you may refuse it, but not in such an impolite way."

For the first time, the stranger turned to look at him. He grew pale, then the colour went back to his face. He smiled, and nodded.

"Of course. I am surprised someone as young as you is so thoughtful and polite." His voice was coated in honey, but there was something in his eyes…

He went back to the woman and apologised, buying a whole cake and accepting her gift. Then, he turned back to Lewis.

"Of course, you won't let me eat this cake all alone, will you?"

Lewis' mouth was watering, but he didn't feel safe with this stranger.

"I have to go. I must get back to school." He said, turning to go back to Josh, who had been watching it all quietly, arms crossed over his chest.

"You mustn't leave. I want to have a talk with you. I knew your father." The stranger said. Lewis felt the trap, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to know.

He made a quick calculation. The old lady worked at the shop, but this was her house. Her son, Justin, was the one that baked the cakes. He was tall, smart and strong, and within calling distance. This Japanese man wouldn't be a match for Justin. Plus, Josh could go back to the orphanage and get one of their teachers to watch over them. It seemed highly unlikely that this stranger could do anything dangerous in this situation.

"Josh, go back to school and bring one of the teachers. I'm staying here. I have to talk to this stranger." Lewis said, walking towards the Japanese man, who sat at a table.

"But…" Josh began, and then saw the look in Lewis' eyes. It was a look he remembered seeing in L's eyes a long time ago, one that commanded obedience. He nodded and went out the door.

Lewis went to the table and sat before the stranger. The old lady brought them some tea, and plates. The man served Lewis some cake and smiled.

"What's your name?" Lewis asked.

"Yagami Light. I am a Japanese detective, and came to London for a meeting." Light looked at him with those cold eyes of his. "I worked with your father. He was a great man, one I considered a true friend. I was truly saddened by his death, and surprised to see he has a son. I assume Nilla is your mother."

"I just asked your name. What is the point of giving me so much information? Are you trying to make me trust you? Or are you trying to act like someone who talks so much it is easy to trick you into saying something important?" Lewis put a spoonful of cake in his mouth. "If you are a Japanese detective, then you must be used to getting information, not giving it."

"You are a sharp kid for your age." Light smiled, but the expression sent chills down Lewis' spine. "You, in return, are giving no information whatsoever."

Lewis smiled.

"I think you got enough information just by looking at me. You know who my parents are, and you are going to try to make a move. I know you're Kira, Yagami Light." Lewis answered, taking a sip of tea. "However, I don't believe you can do anything right now. From what I've heard, you cannot kill without knowing someone's name, and you definitely don't know mine. Plus, this place is too public for you to be able to get away with murder and not be caught. If I see you write something, anything, or put your hands out of sight, I shall scream and trust me, help will come. I am untouchable, Kira."

Light's expression was now angry. How could this stupid child have the nerve to talk to him like that?

"I admit you're sharp, Little L." Light's smile was back. However, I don't think you should make conclusions based solely on what you see."

Lewis stood up.

"I am leaving now. Take care, Yagami Light." He went out, saying goodbye to the old lady.

.

Light looked at the kid's retreating back in distaste. He was quite sharp for his age, that he admitted. It was evident he had his father's brain and self-control, and his mother's spirit and tongue.

"He got you, Light." Ryuk said with a laugh. "He's a sharp one."

"He hasn't won yet. Ryuk, he's small. Would you be able to carry him?" Light asked.

"Why… yes, although he would appear to be floating in midair." Ryuk answered.

"Is there any way you could make him invisible?" Light questioned. Ryuk chuckled.

"Yes, if I wrap him in this long fabric." He took out a long piece of cloth from somewhere. "Do you want me to hide him? I won't do it for free, ya know."

"I know that, Ryuk. What do you want?" Light smiled evilly.

"All the apples I want every day. Plus, I'd also like to try apple pie." Ryuk answered.

.

He had just met Kira… He had just met his father's murderer… He felt hot rage burning in his veins, but at the same time, was proud he had been able to control himself. He was glad Mother had told him all she knew of Kira, just in case he ever needed the information. As he went down a deserted alley, which was a shortcut to the orphanage, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Not so fast, Little L." It was Light. "I will never allow a brat like you to treat me like this. Proceed, Ryuk."

Lewis felt something cold- Could they be some form of hands?- touching him. He fought them, but it was useless. He was furious at himself. He should have been able to predict this! This must be the Shinigami Mother talked about! He realised there still were many flaws in his way of thinking, and these mistakes could make him pay dearly. Mother would be worried… he couldn't let them have him… Kira… At last, he lost consciousness.

.

"I'm going with you, no matter how stubborn you are." Matt said, arms crossed over his chest. I sighed.

"Honestly Matt… It's just an exam… You should go to class. I already made you waste enough time as it is." I smiled at him.

"You are never a waste of time, Nilla. I don't know why you say that." Matt smiled back and ruffled my hair. "Come on. I want to be there, close to you, to support you. I know this is important for you."

For a moment, I didn't know what to say. My stupid heart was beating fast, as if it was trying to escape from my chest. Fortunately, I didn't have to say anything. My cell phone rang and I answered.

"Hello?"

"Nilla? This is Josh, Lewis' friend…" a scared voice said.

"I know, Josh. You are family, you don't have to introduce yourself." I answered, trying to sound cheery. "What is it? Is everything ok?"

"We… We cannot find Jeevs…"

Half an hour later, Matt and I were driving around the city. Matt confessed he had put a special chip inside both my and Lewis' necklaces, one a kid from the orphanage had invented a long time ago. It turned body heat into energy and sent an accurate signal to a special computer, so it could be found easily. I was amazed at Matt's foresight, he truly was a genius. What truly worried me was the kidnapper. From Josh's description, I was sure the Japanese man was Yagami Light, and that he would try to take Lewis back to Japan. He was of no use dead, since I knew it was me that he wanted. We had to take Lewis back before Light had a chance to move him to Japan.

"He'll be all right. Don't worry." Matt said, lighting a cigarette as he drove. He spoke in such a tone, I would have been reassured had he not been smoking. He gave his cigarette nervous, tense draws that made it evident he was lying. However, I was grateful.

"Thank you, Matt." I said smiling and putting a hand over his. I didn't know what I'd done to deserve such a good friend. He was miraculous.

We parked before a hotel, and trying to act innocent, we followed the computer's directions. We got to room 401, which was the presidential suite. With another one of his gadgets, Matt opened the electronic door.

"You're a resourceful one." I whispered in his ear as we went in.

There was no one in the living room, but I could hear someone typing on a keyboard. Matt closed the door silently and locked it, then we approached the source of the noise carefully.

There, in the main bedroom, with his back to the door, was Light, working on his laptop. My blood boiled as my suspicions were confirmed. I couldn't see Lewis anywhere. At last, I lost my self-control completely and ran to Light. I knocked him off the chair and threw him to the floor. He definitely hadn't been expecting this, and looked at me in surprise as I straddled him and pressed my knees on his arms.

"Nilla! Long time no see." He greeted me. "How've you been?"

"Shut up, you bastard! Tell me where is my son!" I shouted, punching him.

"You have a son?" He asked, his smile cynical, mocking.

"Don't fuck with me!" I shouted, taking the knife L gave me a long time ago from my pocket. "Where is he?" I poised the knife at his neck.

"Are you going to kill me? Are you willing to die?" He was completely unafraid. "Are you forgetting Creators can't kill?" I saw in his eyes that he was certain I was just bluffing.

"Nilla" I felt a hand on my shoulder. "You cannot kill him. You'll die!" it was Matt.

"I don't care. I don't care as long as I make sure he cannot hurt Lewis!" I pressed the knife harder against Light's neck. The skin seemed about to break.

"You might not care, but I do." Matt shoved me out of the way and with a swift movement, got the knife out of my hand and took my place pressing Light against the wall. "I'll kill him for you, if necessary."

I was shocked. Sweet, gentle Matt… the man that seemed to be completely unable to really hurt someone else was willing to kill someone just to keep me alive?

"No… Matt, you cannot…" I began.

"I'd rather kill this bastard and get out of here with you and Lewis alive, beside me, than see you die because of worthless trash like him!" He snapped. "Where is the kid?"

Just then, I heard it. A voice.

"Seems you're in a tight spot, Light."

It came from over my shoulder! I turned, but there was nothing there. I looked all around the room, searching for the voice. I felt Lewis was so near… yet I couldn't see him!

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I had to calm down, or Matt would really suffer it later. I couldn't let him kill Light for me. I had to find Lewis.

I opened my eyes and observed everything, running around the suite, looking. Near the back was a door. I heard pounding from the inside.

"Light… I think she found him…" The voice again!

"Lewis!" I shouted.

"Mother!"

"Yep, she's found him."

"There must be a Shinigami here." I thought. "The one that haunts Light's notebook."

The door was locked from the inside but not the outside. I turned the knob and found Lewis. His face was soaked with tears, and when he saw me, he threw himself in my arms.

"Mother!"

"Matt! Let's go!" I shouted and went to the bedroom. Matt was still pinning Light to the floor. He sheathed the knife and punched him, then ran to me. He took Lewis in his arms and we went outside. We got to the parking lot and got on the car. Matt quickly drove away.

I inspected Lewis, feeling my heart on my throat. He looked fine, but terrified. For once, he didn't talk. In a few minutes, he fell asleep, still hugging me tightly.

Relieved to have him back in my arms, I stroked his hair as Matt drove on in silence.

We got home, and I put Lewis in his bed. According to Matt, he was all right. I decided to trust him, he was the doctor after all. Silently so as not to wake Lewis, he grabbed my hand and led me to the living room. He motioned for me to sit down on the couch and I obeyed. He sat beside me.

"You really were prepared to die back there." He said in a low voice.

"Yes. You know I'd die for Lewis, Matt." I answered in the same quiet voice. "I think you should also know that… I'd die for you too."

"Of what use is your death to me?" He asked, angrily. "I don't want you to die for me! I think that's a stupid waste, and in a way, I also feel it's cowardly!" He cupped my face in his hands, looking at me in such a way I could feel his worry through his eyes. He sighed, then whispered: "You said you would die for me… but you must live for me too."

I just looked at him, unable to think of an answer, then, gently, leaned forward and kissed him, closing my eyes.

He breathed in sharply, but then, relaxed and kissed me back. Just as I was beginning to really enjoy it, I heard a frightened voice:

"Mother! Mother!"

It was Lewis. I pushed Matt back and, holding his hand, dragged him to Lewis' room.

"What is it?" I asked. "Are you all right?"

"Please don't leave me alone." He was crying. "I'm scared… He said horrible things… I can't get them out of my head…"

It was the first time I saw Lewis acting like a scared little child. He was always so strong, so mature, I was scared myself. However, I hid it and let go of Matt's hand. I picked Lewis up and took him to my room, since my bed was bigger. Matt followed us.

The three of us lay down, and Lewis was in the middle, hugged by both Matt and me. He fell asleep almost instantly, and his face became peaceful again. What had happened with Light that scared him so much? What had the bastard done? I felt anger pulsing through my veins.

"I'm definitely going to pay him back this time." I said passionately. "I'm not going to let this pass. No one hurts Lewis like this and lives to tell the tale." 


	14. Right Here Waiting

I blew the smoke out of my mouth. Dumb Matt… His habits were catchy. Yes, for the first time in my life, I was smoking. I was walking down the street when I saw a guy selling cigarettes. Since I was so far from home, and I missed Matt, I decided it would be a good idea to try one. Wrong. I was enjoying it immensely, and that was dangerous. I hoped I didn't get hooked. Wouldn't want Lewis catching our (my?) bad habits.

I opened the menu and sighed, wondering what should I eat. Just then, a man entered the deserted restaurant, and my heart skipped a beat. He walked proudly, seeming completely sure of himself. The expression on his face was one of confidence, as if he was ready for absolutely anything the world threw at him. He looked and moved just like… just like… Well, the way I thought he would look and move. However, I had to make sure my brain wasn't playing tricks on me. I had been looking for a long time, following every clue of him that came my way. I escaped from Matt and Lewis every day for weeks since we came to L.A. and looked for him, with absolutely no result.

It was night time already, and I was done for the day. I was exhausted, angry, hungry since I hadn't eaten anything all day, and completely unwilling to go back home again, to face the questions and hurt looks. However, the moment I saw him, my spirit returned. Could it be him? Was this one of those coincidences planned by destiny?

Calmly, with a proud look on my face, I got off the stool and walked towards the man, who hadn't noticed me yet. He became aware of my existence when I was beside him, and his eyes grew large. I saw a flicker of recognition, and I knew my long search was over.

"Hi, Mello."

"Hi, Nilla."

Half an hour later, we sat on a booth, talking. He was surprised that I was still alive, since he thought I had died along with L that terrible night. However, I convinced him that I was very much alive, although I didn't tell him I'd given birth to L's son and moved to LA with Matt escaping from Kira.

"I want revenge on Kira." I said it calmly, without any passion. "I know you want the same thing, and I suspect that, given your intelligence, you have procured the means to do it."

He gave me a cold smile.

"I am missing information, vital details. If you can give me that, you're in."

I mirrored his smile.

"This is the start of a beautiful friendship, I can see that."

For the next three-and-a-half hours, I told him absolutely all I knew about Kira, the creators, Light's way of thinking, etc. I didn't omit a single detail. As I talked, Mello's smile broadened. When I finished, he said:

"Indeed, this is the start of a very beautiful friendship. Now, let me tell you about my… associates."

He told me he was a high-ranking guy in the Mafia, with a lot of power, and enough resources.

"However, if you want to be involved with this, you'll have to live at our headquarters, preferably in my rooms. My… underlings… aren't respectful to women at all. You'll have to act like my girlfriend, because they fear me enough not to touch you if they consider you my property." Mello took a vicious bite out of a chocolate bar. "Of course, it would just be an act."

I nodded, disgusted at the idea of being considered property, but prepared to make the sacrifices.

"I would also like to experiment with your Creator powers." Mello tapped the table with a finger thoughtfully. "I think it's a special manipulation of heat and energy that…" he began to explain his theory, but I didn't understand a thing, since it was scientific. Damn my Creator brain…

At last, he finished talking and stood up, tossing bills on the table.

"Let's go."

"I'm moving in tonight?" I asked, surprised. Mello nodded. "Wait… I need to go home to pack clothes and… stuff…"

Mello sighed in exasperation, but agreed.

"Fine. You go home and I'll wait here. You have an hour."

It angered me to follow his orders, but I had decided to do anything to stop Light. Now he knew of Lewis' existence, I knew he wouldn't stop until he had destroyed him. If Lewis kept on growing like this, and developing so fast, he would be able to stop Light some day, if Mello and Near didn't do it. Light wouldn't let such a foe live. However, with Mello's brains and my information, I was sure we could stop him before he found Lewis. I didn't care if it killed me, as long as Lewis was safe. Matt would take care of him if something happened to me.

I went outside, to the car, and drove home. I got there in 10 minutes, and went in quietly. It was way past midnight, and I hoped both Matt and Lewis were asleep.

I put the keys on the table beside the door and walked past the living room. I saw a shadow on the sofa. It was Matt, and he seemed to be asleep. I went to my room and pulled out my already-packed trunk. It had the essentials, a few changes of clothes, cash, my iPod and my laptop, so it was quite light. As I was going out, I passed in front of Lewis' room, and went in. He was sleeping peacefully. I kissed his forehead and whispered:

"I love you. I'll see you soon… Don't you worry… I'm always with you. Keep on being my wonderful little Lewis." I smiled, watching him sleep for a moment. To think that I may never see him again…!

I went out of his room and down the stairs. I passed in front of the living room and heard Matt's voice:

"Where are you going?"

I paused with my hand on the doorknob, then put the trunk on he floor and turned to go to Matt.

"I'm leaving. There is something I must do." I answered.

"What is it?"

"None of your business, Matt. Bog off." I answered, baring my teeth a little.

"Your attitude is absurd." I could hear the rage in Matt's voice, then the defeat. "Nilla… It's as if I don't know you anymore… We might as well be strangers… We could be even living in a different world for all I know about you now. I don't know your thoughts anymore, I don't understand your actions. We are completely apart, and I don't like it." He wrapped me in his arms, and I stiffened, feeling the tears burning my eyes, knowing I was about to throw it all to the wind just to kiss him again, to beg for forgiveness, to cry safe in his arms… but I couldn't do it. I mustn't let him see me cry... I had to go with Mello, and I didn't want Lewis nor Matt involved in any way. I didn't want to risk them anymore. They were all I had, all I loved, all I couldn't bear to lose. I pushed Matt away.

"I hope you can forgive me, but I must go. I don't know when I'll be back… If I'll ever be back. Take care of Lewis." I said coldly, then turned again to leave. He shoved me to the wall, hard.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He shouted. "What are you…"

"Don't wake Lewis!" I hissed. "Say all you want, just don't wake him!"

He was taken aback for a moment, but he nodded.

"You are amazing. You are abandoning him, without a second thought, and yet you don't want to wake him. You're a coward, Nilla." He let go of me and walked away. I could hear the disappointment in his voice and it was more than I could bear.

"Do you think I like this? Do you think I want this?" I asked. "Matt… I love Lewis… I don't want to be away from him… It's tearing me apart… But I have to! And stop worrying about me. I am not a child now. I can take care of myself."

He turned to look at me, a sudden realization in his voice.

"You're going after Kira. I can't believe you're this stupid, not even you. He'll find a way to kill you, Nilla, and he'll take your Creator powers. Then who'll…"

"I must take him had on. I have the means to. I am going to get him. You'll see." He came towards me and rested his head on my shoulder. I could hear he was breathing hard.

"You're an idiot, I hope you know that. Still… If there is someone that can stop him…"

"It's me?" I asked, hopefully.

"I already told you you're an idiot. If there's someone who can stop him, it's Mello… and you've found him, haven't you?" He asked, his head still resting on my shoulder.

"How did you know?"

"I suspected it. I didn't know until now." He paused, and we were quiet for a long time. At last, he said "Just come back alive. I'll take care of Lewis…" He sighed. "I don't know how you do it, but you always find a way to keep me right here waiting, always find the words to say, een if you choose to walk away to keep me right here waiting."

I hugged him, feeling relaxed by the sweet smell of his hair (He liked to use strawberry shampoo… Don't ask) and the warmth of his body.

"Thank you, Matt." I took my hands to the medallion he'd given me, along with its silver chain. I pulled it off. "Here. Keep this."

Before he could speak again, I was already out the door, trunk and all, and into the night.

----

Well, there goes today's chapter. I hope you liked it! If you did, review! I know I'm always saying that, but I just love getting reviews... So, if you like what you read, just say it. Makes me feel warm and happy inside.

Some of you may have spotted slight allusions to some songs... They fit the mood of this chapter perfectly. They are "We Might as Well Be Strangers" from Keane, "Right Here Waiting" from Staind, and "I'll Try"by Jonatha Brooke. Listen to them if you can... They are a bit sad, but beautiful. From today on, I'm going to post at the end of the chapter the songs hidden in it, since there is at least one, always. Oh, Music... There is nothing I love more than Music...

Well, until tomorrow!


	15. Under Mello's Command

I'm sorry I haven't been able to post one chapter a day, as I usually do, but I was very busy. I'm moving! At last, I'm leaving my prarents' home to live by myself. However, that means lots of extra work that disrupted my schedule completely. Well, anyway...

I logged in yesterday and saw the new reviews... Loved them! Thank you, all! I didn't know you liked Lewis so much! (I love him adore him...) I'm glad someone wants Nilla and Matt to live and be happy... I would like that too. However, if you've read the manga and watched the anime... Well...

Anyway, here's today's chapter. I'll do my best to post tomorrow, too... It all depends on how busy I am... I might post another one later today... It all depends on different things...

---

I was panting, clutching my right shoulder as blood slipped through my fingers. I wiped the side of my mouth with my left hand and saw it was stained with blood. I gave Mello a murderous look.

"What's the point of this?" I asked, in a near-growl.

"You must learn to control it. That's all." He was smiling sadistically, sending a chill down my spine. I knew he was right, and was aware of the advantages I would gain by controlling this. I imagined a scene were this new ability saved Lewis' or Matt's life… and decided I was willing to lose the last drop of my blood to be able to master it.

"Go." I ordered, my body boiling with rage and adrenalin. Mello threw three knives at me with practiced accuracy. I concentrated on the air surrounding me, using the Creator energy to influence the particles in such a way, they stopped the knives. They floated in the air before me for a second and then fell to the floor with a clatter. It was the first time I was completely successful in the exercise. "Try with more knives, Mello." I ordered, straightening up with a huge effort. He shook his head.

"It's enough for today. You must rest. Your energy is almost spent." He turned around and left the room. As soon as he was gone, I allowed myself to fall on my knees in exhaustion. I was so low on energy, my wounds didn't heal.

I had been living with Mello and his gang for two months now. I didn't know a thing about Lewis or Matt, since I had made absolutely no attempt to contact them. I knew the gang leader was keeping an eye on me, and that I was being followed at all times I wasn't in Mello's rooms. If they found out about Lewis and Matt… I didn't even dare think what would happen. These men had absolutely no honour. They were afraid of Mello, that much was evident, but even when Mello announced I was his lover, and only his (This was a complete lie, but they didn't need to know that, did they?), some of the men tried to pull me to their rooms. On these occasions, I knocked the guy to the floor, quick as lightning, and poised the blade of my knife at his neck. I warned him not to touch me again or I would kill him personally and he believed it. Every time, afterwards, I ended in the bathroom, throwing up, disgusted at the mere idea of killing.

Although there were definite downsides to my partnership with Mello, there were also mayor props. We had just succeeded in an important mission… Stealing the Japanese Police's Death Note.

Mello and I had worked on the plan for nights without end, thinking of every detail, every possibility, every likely outcome. At last, we produced a perfect plan that translated from theory to practice seamlessly. We had the Notebook of Death. I knew Light would be pissed and ashamed at being outsmarted. It was the first phase of revenge. The second one was capturing him and exposing him, which would hurt even more. After that, the world could do whatever it wanted with him. As long as he could do no harm to Lewis, I would be contented. Lewis…

I thought of his voice, his kiss, his warm embrace, and wanted to find a way back to him. I knew he'd be waiting, but I also knew he'd be hurt. However, Matt would take good care of him. Matt… I decided to stop thinking about them. It hurt too much.

I stood up, my whole body hurting. I needed energy, and decided it would come in the shape of blueberry ice cream. I managed to drag myself out of the room and towards the kitchen.

"Whoa. Mello really likes it rough, doesn't he?" One of the gangsters said when he saw me. His companions said other gross remarks, which I did my best to ignore. If only I had a bit more energy… then I could make them pay.

"Shut up, you scum!" Mello exclaimed, coming out of the kitchen. "I'll send to hell the bastard that dares day another word! You don't have the right to even look at my woman!" The living room instantly went quiet. He went towards me and picked me up in his arms. I felt something cold on my back and realised it was a cup full of blueberry ice cream. Thank God. He gave the others a venomous look. "I'm taking her in for another round. If any of you sons of bitches dares interrupt, I'll blow his brains out!" He took me back to our quarters.

"Thanks, Mello." I said when we were back inside.

"No problem." He put me gently on my bed, then handed me the ice cream. "Next time, stay put inside the room, or drag yourself to the bed. Rest until you have more energy. I'll bring what you need." He went to his desk and took out some books. He had been making research on explosives.

"Thanks, Mello. You're sweet." I said, truly grateful.

"It has nothing to do with sweetness. It just keeps the men from getting wrong ideas, and helps you to recover more quickly so we can practice more. That's all." Mello answered, practical as ever. I sighed, remembering I was just a tool for him to get to his objective, and in a way, he was also my tool.

"Mello, can't we be friends?" I asked, for the thousandth time. He answered, also for the thousandth time.

"Friendship involves feelings. Feelings cloud your judgement. To get to my objective, I will destroy anything that stands in my way, using any means possible. Therefore, I cannot afford to put myself into a position were it could be difficult to make such choices. Understand?" He sounded bored.

"Yes." I answered, eating my ice cream. He was right… but still, I missed Matt's friendship with all y heart. What I wouldn't give to see his face again… I would like to visit him for a while, get away from this hostile, God-forsaken place.

"Hey, Nilla, can you play with me?" A voice asked. I turned to the right and saw Sidoh, the Death Note's Shinigami. I shook my head.

"Not now, Sidoh. I'm sorry. I'm too tired. Besides, shouldn't you be watching the entrance?"

Sidoh liked to play card games with me when he was bored and off-duty. He had to make sure no one entered our safe house. There was a raid, a week ago, but Sidoh took the attackers' helmets off so we could see their faces. All names were written on the notebook.

"I'm too bored, Nilla. No one comes in anyway."

"Look, Sidoh… Be a good boy and guard the door for another two hours so I can take a nap. When the time is up, come find me and we'll play poker. Deal?"

He sighed and went out. I curled into a ball and went to sleep.

I jumped up, panicked. I could hear shouting.

I looked around the room. There was no Mello around. I ran outside and saw a horrible scene. All our subordinates, except two, were dead. Mello sat on a chair, taking a bite out of his chocolate. He looked up and saw me, then jumped out of the chair.

"Roy, Skiar! Be careful not to let the notebook get stolen. Bring it to the monitor room. Nilla, come!" He ran upstairs, heading to the last room. I followed him and he locked the doors. He turned on all the monitors and observed what was going on. Men were coming inside, and I guessed it was on Light's orders.

"They were too quick." I said, angrily. "We weren't able to get all our emergency plans ready."

We saw our last two men shoot at the police, but they were defeated by what I suspected was tear gas.

"This is bad. The notebook can be stolen…" Mello whispered. I observed how the police arrested the men. "Nilla, do you have the energy to try and execute emergency plan C-3?" Mello asked, his voice cold.

We had many emergency plans, that ranged from A to G. There were small variations in all of them, each assigned a number. Plan C involved my abilities and explosions, and variation 3 was the one that helped us both survive.

"I don't know, Mello. I can try, but I'm still too tired." I took the chocolate from his hand and ate it in two bites, thinking the sugar might give an extra boost of energy. He took another one out of somewhere in his clothes (Though I don't know how he managed it…), unwrapped it, and gave it a nervous bite then handed it to me. I took a mouthful and handed it back.

"Then, execute plan C-5." He ordered, and I almost choked on the chocolate. It was the one were only I survived. I was about to argue, since he was more useful than I, but the police began to search the hideout, presumably looking for Mello. They soon realised in what room we were hiding.

"It can't be helped." Mello said in a calm voice, as if he was commenting on the weather. He took out a special remote and pressed a button. There was an explosion that shook the whole building. I was expecting this, but still, it made me nervous.

Mello pressed a button and spoke into a microphone that delivered his voice to the police. "I've blown up both exits. You won't be able to get out easily. This one was just a threat, but the next one will blow up the whole hideout. I'm watching your actions through monitoring cameras. If you don't want to be blown up, follow my directions."

I breathed slowly, concentrating on gathering all my energy. Screw Mello… I was going to save both of us. I needed both of us alive. We had a mutual goal and needed each other to reach it. However, the difference between Mello and me was that, while he would destroy to get there, I would create.

"My first direction: Break your cameras, all of you." Mello ordered, the sadistic smile once again on his face. Could it be that… he was enjoying himself? What was this demon? I smiled, feeling a strange rush of affection for him. The men obeyed, and he barked his next order. "Throw your weapons downstairs." The men obeyed once again. Mello shook his head, and I was sure he felt this was too easy. I frowned, seeing Mello's weakness at once. He was too proud, too full of himself. "One of you take the notebook, and come to the door. The others, step back." I saw the men obey. Mello then ordered the man standing before the door to take off his helmet. I gasped in surprise.

"Yagami-san!" I whispered, observing him. He looked older, I cold see the worry that lay heavy on his shoulders. I was sorry this was happening…When living with Lawliett, I had learnt to love and admire Yagami-san. Mello mocked him a little and then let him in.

"Nilla!" he gasped, as soon as he saw me. I stood beside Mello, a hand on his shoulder, ready to defend him if necessary. However, under the piercing gaze of Yagami, I looked down in shame.

"Hello, Yagami-san."

Mello ignored this brief exchange, and went straight to the point.

"Bring the notebook and your helmet here. Then you will be a captive again."

"Mihael Keehl, give up." Yagami-san gave him a sad but resigned look. I felt Mello's muscles tense under my hand. "If you let yourself be arrested, we won't kill you. Throw down the switch and put your hands in the air."

"You really think I'll fall for such threats?" Mello asked mockingly. "If you try to write down my name, I'll press the switch."

"Do it if you want. I don't hold my life dear anymore." Chief Yagami answered.

"But… Yagami-san…" I began, but Mello shushed me with a hand.

"Don't play cool, Yagami. If you are fine with that, how about your men? Can you sacrifice all of them?" asked Mello, his voice cold and emotionless.

"They are my men. They have been preparing themselves for that." Was Yagami's answer. "Give up, Mello. If you want to live, you have no choice but to be arrested. Throw down the switch."

I braced myself, knowing Mello wouldn't surrender for all the chocolate in the world. Suddenly, I saw movement on the floor. It was a man, Jose, to be exact. I realised he had been faking his death.

"No!" I shouted, taking a step forward as he shot Yagami-san. "No! No! No! Yagami-san! Mello, you can't kill him!" He ignored me as he put on a gas mask, then tossed one at me. I threw it away, kneeling beside Yagami-san as Jose tried to get the notebook. The rest of the police came in. Someone shot Jose, and he fell to the floor, this time truly dead.

"Give up, Mello! Throw down the switch!" It was Matsuda! That explained why I hadn't also been shot. I looked at Mello, prepared to act.

As if in slow motion, I saw his finger move towards the switch to press it. I gathered all my energy and went down to work, lunging at Mello. A pair of silver wings grew from my back, covering me, as I touched the particles of air around Mello's body, ready to repel everything that came his way, ready to protect him. As my arms wrapped around him, I saw his finger press the switch.

In a second, I was thrown back, and the air was full of heat, air rubble. I was unable to make out anything, not even the slightest hint of Mello, although I felt him in my arms. He was bigger than me, and heavier. I was barely able to hold on to him. I wrapped the wings around both of us, concentrating on repelling the heat and everything that came our way. I did my best, but I felt my energy fading. The wings, once created, didn't use much energy as long as I didn't move them. It is like your legs don't tire you out just because you have them, but they use energy when you run, walk, kick... The wings were the same. The problem was the continuous particle manipulation, it was draining me. I felt the barrier fall in some places, and I was powerless to put it back up. I was completely spent. We landed painfully on the dusty floor, with me on top of Mello. I opened my wings, trying to use them as a shield from the rubble falling from overhead, when the floor gave way. My sweaty palms let go of Mello, and I lost him as a second explosion sent me flying again. The dust didn't let me see nor breathe, and the heat was killing me. I knew I was about to pass out, but with the lasts of my strength I felt around for Mello. I couldn't find him! Where was he? Mello… I had to save him… Mello…

I fell on top of a mountain of rubble, gasping for air. I did my best to stand up, but was unable to. I could barely move, and I was choking. Was I going to die? That damned Light… that damned Mello… Matt…

As my thoughts became less coherent, I heard a horrible crunch from overhead, and I knew that the ceiling was going to give way.

"Mello!" I managed to shout, coughing as the dust stuck to my throat, but there was no answer. As the crunch grew louder, an image of Matt hugging Lewis appeared on my brain. They were both smiling at me.

'I can't get killed…' I thought as the wings created a protective sphere around me. An instant later, the ceiling fell. 


	16. Again

His heart beating fast, he drove to the site. It wasn't hard to find, since it was burning in some areas and smoke came out of it. Thankfully, it was in a deserted area, so there were no neighbours calling firemen or the police. He stopped the car and jumped out not bothering to turn off the engine.

He ran towards the building, ignoring the smoke and the occasional flame, hoping that they were still alive, that they were in one piece.

"Mello! Nilla!" he called out in the loudest voice he could manage. "Mello! Nilla!"

Suddenly, he saw movement. He ran towards it and distinguished a pale and bloody figure sitting beside a wall that, miraculously, still stood.

Matt gasped in surprise at his friend's wounds, since they only covered half of his body. The other half was intact, as though nothing had happened. For a moment, Matt was puzzled beyond words. Then, at last, he remembered she was still missing. He could ask questions later. He had to find her… before it was too late.

"Matt… She's still inside…" Mello whispered with great difficulty.

"I know." Matt dragged Mello to the car and gently put him in the backseat. "I'll find her."

He ran back to the rubble and shouted her name.

"Nilla… Nilla! Where are you?" His eyes searched all over the rubble, and suddenly, he saw feathers. They were silver, and shone in the pale moonlight. He was drawn to them, and walked in their direction. When he was closer, he saw there were more feathers underneath the rubble. He began to dig, trying to find the source of them, since he felt they had something to do with Nilla.

As he dug, he saw he was unearthing something incredibly unusual. It was a silver sphere of feathers, that looked both metallic and alive at the same time.

He pulled the glove from his hand with his teeth, then outstretched his fingers towards the mysterious feathered sphere. The moment he touched it, the feathers went flying in all directions. He swiped at the air and grabbed a fistful, then put it in his pocket to observe later. He looked back at the place where he had seen the sphere. He gasped. In its place, Nilla lay on the rubble.

"Nilla… Nilla!" He whispered urgently, touching her shoulder gently. Her skin was warm.

Delicately, Matt bent down and picked her up. She was lighter than he remembered. Her face was pale, her hair had lost its shine, it was now dull and lifeless. Her skin wasn't as soft as when he'd touched it last time, it was dry and looked a bit sickly. There were bags under her eyes and her cheeks looked sunken. She was a complete mess, but still… No matter how she looked, she was Nilla.

He carried her back to the car and carefully put her in the front seat. He looked at Mello, who seemed to be sleeping in the backseat. His breathing was laboured, and Matt could see he was in pain.

"She's an idiot, you know?" Mello suddenly said. Matt stiffened.

"She's not an idiot."

"Yes, she is. How can you defend her when she left you?" Mello asked, his eyes opening and looking at him. "Left you in charge of her kid and just… left?"

"She told you… about Lewis and me?" Matt asked in disbelief. He had thought she would keep them secret, to make sure Lewis and him wouldn't be found. Wasn't that the whole point of her leaving?

"She didn't. She didn't even tell me she had a kid, I just guessed by the tiny sweater in the backseat, I didn't think you had a baby with anyone else, since you've obsessed with her from the moment you saw her at Wammy's house. I also guessed she left you because you would never have allowed her to go live with gangsters just like that. I knew for certain by your answer. I'm a genius, remember?" Mello winced in pain, but he said nothing about it. "I know for a fact you think she is an idiot, too."

Matt didn't answer. He just made sure she was safe in the seat, then went towards the driver's door. He got inside and began driving back home, the ruins of the building behind them.

He turned off the engine and got out of the car. He went to the back and helped Mello out. He half-dragged him, half-carried him inside and to the bathroom. He put him in the tub.

"Mel, this looks bad… There are glass cuts in your face, and first, second and third degree burns all over your skin." He sighed. "They are not going to be easy to treat. We should go to a hospital…"

"No." Mello's tone was firm, even slightly menacing. "They retreated because their team was injured, too. However, they must have warned hospitals and the police for people coming in with burns. It would be too risky."

Matt began to take Mello's clothes off.

"Aren't you going to take her out of the car?" Mello asked.

"I am studying to become a doctor at the University. To treat those burns, we need to take all your clothes off and remove the dead skin. I'll have to give you a bath with cold water, to..."

"Matt, stop evading my question. Go take her out of the car." Mello's tone was forceful again.

"She looked fine." Matt mumbled, as he fumbled with Mello's vest. Mello slapped his hands away.

"Go take her out of the car!" he shouted. For a moment, Matt knelt beside him, an ugly look in his eyes. Then, without a word, he walked out of the bathroom.

He went down the stairs, fully intending to leave her outside. He opened the door and went to the car. He observed her from outside, his anger fading. She looked so defenceless, so weal, so small… He felt a pang of guilt and gently took her out. He carried her to her room, which he had kept clean and ready for her in case she came back.

'I may be too loyal for my own good…' he thought, as he gently took off her shoes and wrapped the bedcovers around her. He sat beside her, watching her breathe, and then went back to Mello.

"Bring some scissors." He ordered as Matt came in. Matt went to a drawer and took the scissors to Mello, but didn't give them to him. He tried to remove the vest but saw some parts of the fabric had attached themselves to some of the burns. Mello needed the scissors to cut the fabric from the rest of the vest. Softly, gently. Matt did the job, careful not to hurt Mello. However, most of his burns were third-degree burns. Therefore, there was no more feeling on the skin. That was the reason Mello wasn't in such pain. He had already applied some ointment to the first-degree and second-degree burns, so now Matt 'only' had to take care of the most serious ones.

He washed Mello's skin once again with cold water, and removed some glasses from his face with special pincers. He cleaned those wounds, then removed the dead skin from the rest of the burns. He carefully dried Mello with a soft white towel and wrapped his burns in gauze pads.

"I might have to stitch those wounds in your face and arm, if they don't heal properly." Matt informed him, then observed him with a critical eye. "In an explosion of that magnitude, you should have gotten killed. How come you are alive? And with half of your body in perfect condition?"

"That idiot saved me. I'm surprised she is alive." Mello didn't look at Matt as he helped him towards a room. "Matt, go out and get ice cream. Chocolate or blueberry, preferably." Mello collapsed in Matt's bed with a sigh of exhaustion.

"What? Why?" Matt asked, suspiciously.

"I can't explain the details right now… just make her eat the whole carton as soon as possible."

"But…"

"Please let me have some sleep." Mello gave him a look that was almost pleading. It was quite uncharacteristic of him, and that surprised Matt. He went out of the room without another comment and went for his car keys. He had decided to go get the ice cream.

He opened the door and entered the living room. There, standing before him, was the person he had been dreaming about for the last two months. He almost dropped the shopping, barely had the presence of mind to put them on the counter.

"Nilla…" He whispered, and she looked at him. She smiled.

"Matt! I've missed you."

Her voice was cheerful as always, although a bit weak. She was leaning on the wall, and she looked so fragile, he was sure she could break at any moment.

"I haven't checked you, you shouldn't be standing. Come here." He tried to take her in his arms, but she pulled back.

"I'll walk to my room and you can check me there, Matt." She said, her tone changing completely, her eyes flashing dangerously, her hand near her waist. He realized she was carrying her knife.

"What's wrong with you? It's me, Matt!" He exclaimed, slightly scared by her reaction.

The ferocious look on her face disappeared, and she took a step towards him.

"Make no attempt to touch me." She ordered, and she raised her hand. She touched his face, pulled on a lock of his hair, touched his nose and felt the air coming out of his lungs. She ran a finger on his lips, touched his lashes, then smiled.

"I'm sorry. You don't know just how much I've dreamt with this… how much I've wished to see you again. It felt terrible to wake up and realize it wasn't real, so… You could say I've grown cautious." She took his hand. "I know you think I'm being stupid but… I've missed you so much…"

He was surprised at how weak she looked, she barely seemed to be able to stand. The bags under her eyes were big and dark, her skin very pale. She had definitely lost weight, and the spirit that always seemed to shine out of her eyes was gone. He was saddened at the sight, his anger at her completely gone. He could see it hadn't been easy for her.

In a second, he pulled her towards him and held her close. Her smell was still lavender, still Nilla. She wasn't a dream. She was back.

"I've missed you, too." He whispered, running a hand down her back.

"How's Lewis?" She asked in a voice so low he could barely hear her.

"He's fine. He's mad at you, of course, but he's alive and healthy. That's what matters, I guess."

"Yes, it is." She sighed.

"I'm going to get some sleep. I just…" Then, she gasped and pushed him away.

"No, wait! Mello! He was…"

"I've got him. He's upstairs, in my room. He's a little toasty, but he's alive."

She looked at him and then threw herself in his arms.

"thank you… thank you… thank you… I don't know how… How could I have gone on living… If he had…"

Matt stiffened, she felt him.

"Oh come on… don't take it like that." There it was, her trademark Nilla smile. "We've made an agreement. We're each other's tools to get Kira. That's why… I need him."

Matt was still disbelieving, and he was sure it showed in his face. Her smile shrunk a little, her expression became slightly embarrassed.

"Matt… In my world… there is only you." She stood on tiptoe and kissed him lightly. In an instant, she pulled away and blushed like a schoolgirl. He was shocked. This was the first time she had admitted feelings for him. For a moment, he just stared at her, then picked her up easily, grabbed the shopping bags and took her to her room. He sat her on the bed and gave her a carton of chocolate ice cream and a spoon.

"Here. Eat."

A ravenous look came over her and she snatched the ice cream and spoon from him. She began to eat it at a great speed.

"Now that's a turn on." Matt teased. She growled but kept eating. In less than two minutes, the carton was gone.

"There. I feel better now." She said, giving it back to Matt who left it on the floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek again. When had she become this affectionate? Then, she kissed his lips and decided he didn't mind.

"I'm going to spend the night here with you." Matt said when they had separated. "Mello took over my bed."

"I've got no problem with that." She smiled at him and, a minute later, was fast asleep in his arms.

He was glad she was back.


	17. Breathe

I woke up with Matt's scent in my nostrils. For the first time in many months, I smiled before I'd even opened my eyes. I was protected by his arms around my body, warm and comfortable with his closeness.

At last, I opened my eyes and smiled at his still-sleeping form. I was still a little tired, my muscles ached, but at the same time, the idea of seeing Lewis again made me feel electricity down my spine. Yesterday, I had been too tired, too surprised to find myself back home, to see him. But now…

I was thinking of different ways to dislodge myself from Matt's arms without waking him up when a shout reached my ears. Matt was awake in an instant, jumping out of bed, still fully clothed.

"It sounded like Mello." I said, joining him as we hurried out of my room and went into his. Mello was looking with wide eyes at a small figure beside the bed.

"Is… Is he a ghost?" He asked us, as we went in. "Is it… Is it really L?"

"No…" I whispered. "He's L's and my son… Lewis."

When he heard my voice, Lewis turned in a flash. His eyes were wide, his face pale, his mouth dropped open. This wasn't the way I had imagined greeting him… announcing I was back.

In a second, his mouth closed, his eyes went back to their normal size, but his colour didn't come back.

"Follow me. I need to talk to you." He said, his voice serious, as he went out of the room. I followed him, feeling he was the parent and I was a naughty child.

"I thought the kid was yours, not L's!" Mello was saying as we went out. He must have been freaked out, waking and finding what he must have thought was L's ghost. I guessed he must have thought he was dead and had gone to heaven (Or hell… What was the difference for Mello?), since, although he was a genius, Mello wasn't the brightest of mortals when he had just woken up. He wasn't a morning person… Plus, Lewis was too similar to his father.

We went inside my room, Lewis had his back to me.

"Sit." Lewis pointed to the bed. This was the downside at having a genius boy for a son... He was way too mature, to the point he obviously felt he could boss me around. I didn't sit down. I had to show my authority someWHERE, didn't I?

"Lewis, I don't know what Matt told you, but…"

"Why did you abandon me?" He asked me in a low voice. I was amazed at the perfect balance between genius and child in his voice, between maturity and youth.

"I did not..."

"Yes you did!" He shouted, and he turned to face me. He was crying. "Yes you did! You just disappeared into the night! How could you…"

I reached out to pull him into my arms, but he broke free from my grasp and moved out of reach. He wiped his nose with his sleeve. Yes, he was a genius, but he was still a child.

"Lewis, what did Matt tell you?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"He told me you had gone on vacation." There was anger in his voice. "But that was what Ada's parents told her before they left her at Wammy's house! They never came back!"

So THERE was the problem.

"Lewis, how could you think that? I would never leave you without a good reason!"

"Then where were you?" He demanded, arms closed over his chest. "Where were you? And why did you come back with that… guy with a girl's hair?"

I swallowed my laughter. He had one point right, at least. Mello's hair WAS girlish.

For a moment, I considered lying, or not telling him. However, he would know, and he would be furious at me. It would be even worse if I said he was too young to understand, or to grasp the full meaning of my actions. I told him the truth.

"I went out to catch Kira."

His eyes were wide again. He came towards me and I knelt on the floor to be closer to him. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled. Hard.

"OW! Lewis, what's wrong with you?" I asked, grabbing his little hands.

"What's wrong with me? I should be asking you that! How dare you go out and risk your life on something so stupid? He killed Father! He could have killed you! And for what?" he pulled again.

"To keep you safe! You know your father was his greatest foe! He must be looking for you this very moment! You are a threat to him!" How come he didn't understand? I did my best to untangle my hair from his little fist.

"Yeah, and for me you're going to get yourself killed? Face it, Mother! I'm not wo-"

I put a hand over his mouth.

"If you dare say you're not worth it, Lewis…" I took a deep breath. "I would throw my life away in a second for yours. You are the single most important thing in my life, my sunshine, my reason to live, my everything. Please don't say you're not worth it, Lewis. Please." At last, he let go of my hair. I just looked at him in disbelief. "Honestly. When are you going to realize just how wonderful you are?"

He began crying again, and, at last, he let me hug him.

"Lewis… I've missed you so much. I understand that you're angry, but it was necessary. Tell me… would you protect Uncle Matt with your life? Be honest." I looked at him critically. His eyes pierced mine. His eyes had the same power Light's did, but instead of being cold and unfeeling, Lewis' were brimming with sentiment.

"Of course I do. I would die for you too, Mother. Never doubt that." He answered. The maturity was back. My heart beat fast with pride at my son's passionate answer.

"Then, you must understand my actions."

He sighed and sat on the bed, resting his face in his hands, thinking deeply.

"Yes. I understand." He said after a few seconds of deep thought. "However, I would appreciate it if you kept on fighting Kira here, with me. I can't stand you leaving again, Mother. It's cruel of you."

I smiled.

"What about Uncle Matt? Don't you like being with him?"

"Oh… He's more like… the fun parent. I love hanging out with him, but in the end, you're the one I learn from the most, Mother. At least more… official knowledge. Uncle Matt shows me really good swear words, and street fighting, how to talk to girls… Stuff like that."

I was overcome with a desperate urge to laugh and to hit Matt, but I did my best to control myself.

"You're five years old. Why would you want to talk to girls?" I asked, controlling the laughter in my voice.

"They are mystical creatures, Mother." Lewis told me with wide-eyed honesty that reminded me he was still a five-year old. "I don't understand them."

"So I'm a mystical creature?" I was smiling.

"Of course not. You're Mother." There. The unmistakable ring of sincerity in his voice.

I laughed heartily. This son of mine was the sweetest contrast on Earth.

"I've really missed you, Lewis. You're my best mate." I hugged him and kissed him all over.

"Really?" he laughed too. "I thought Uncle Matt was your best mate."

"Uncle Matt is…" I paused, unsure of how to continue. "He's Uncle Matt, a whole category all by himself. Let's leave it at that."

He hugged me, laughing.

"I've missed you too, Mother." Then, he added in a very low voice, so fragile I felt it could break. "Please… Never leave again."

"I can't promise that, Lewis. I'd never be able to put you in danger, so I'd rather leave. I'll at least warn you beforehand, ok?"

He frowned, but nodded.

"Then, promise you'll come back." His lip trembled a little.

"I promise I'll always come back to you, Lewis." I wiped his tearstained face. "Never doubt that."

We were at the breakfast table,

"How come you never told me you had a kid?" Mello asked me, sitting at the table as Matt and I went about the kitchen making breakfast. Matt had tried to convince me to rest, said that he would manage everything, but I wouldn't let him. I was not a cripple.

"I wasn't about to risk anyone finding out about him. If Kira knew…"

Mello took a bite out of a chocolate bar. I swear, he magicked them out of thin air.

"How come he can eat chocolate before breakfast and I can't?" Lewis asked, offended.

"Here. Eat it and shut up." Mello tossed the bar at Lewis.

I slammed a glass on the table before Mello.

"Watch your tongue. You can do everything you want, act in any way you want, eat whatever you want, but I will not tolerate any disrespect towards Lewis. Understood?" I asked, angrily. "Apologize to him."

Mello gave me a surprised look, then smiled.

"Fine. I'll be good to the kid." However, he didn't apologize. I let it pass this time, since it was, after all, Mello. I had never heard him apologize to someone. Of course, if he ever talked to Lewis like that again… I'd make him pay.

"Lewis, eat the chocolate bar later. Do you really want to ruin your appetite? Uncle Matt is doing your favourite."

"So you're a nice, happy family, aren't you?" Mello mocked. "'Uncle Matt.' Hilarious."

I was starting to get a little pissed at him, but Lewis just smiled.

"You really want to be part of the family yourself, don't you?" he asked. "I can hear the longing in your voice."

"Of course I don't. As if I needed anything of the sort." Mello snorted and took the chocolate he had given Lewis. He took a bite.

"I can see you getting nervous. You know you want me to call you Uncle Mello." Lewis looked at him with big, innocent eyes.

"Yeah, right. As if I would…"

Lewis threw his arms in a seemingly careless way around Mello, but I observed he was being delicate with the burns in his body.

"Fine. You're Uncle Mello now."

"Leave me alone." Mello grumbled. "Here, take a bite." He put the chocolate bar to Lewis' lips. I smiled as Lewis munched on the chocolate, smiling. It was like the closing of a treaty. Some people signed documents, others shook hands, Mello offered chocolate.

Since that moment, he became less gruff towards Lewis, even affectionate, in his Mello way. I was happy. Lewis had a very special effect on most people, it seemed.

After breakfast, while Lewis kept researching on how to hack secure networks (He loved hacking. I wouldn't have allowed it, except I knew he would never use that power for evil), Matt, Mello and I began another plan for bringing down Kira… for good, this time.

---  
There. Another chapter gone. I hope it didn't suck too much… but I haven't really been able to dedicate much time to the story lately. However, as I said before, I hate cliffhangers, so I do my best to go on. I hope Mello wasn't too out-of-character.

Thanks to those who reviewed! You're the best!!! You made my day! And I agree… Matt is smexy…! Well, until tomorrow! (I hope…)


	18. Stitches and Gaaras

"Stay STILL!" I ordered, hitting him on the head lightly. "I can't do this right otherwise!"

"How can I stay still when you're hurting me? You're doing a lousy job!" Mello popped a handful of M&M's into his mouth.

"You were the one that refused painkillers! Now shut up and stay still!"

We were at Matt's room, and I was trying to sew Mello's face wounds. Matt had tried earlier, but Mello had complained he was too rough, so I better do it. I suggested healing him with my powers, but Mello began shouting at me. My powers were still exhausted, and I had to wait for the next full moon to recover. It would be dangerous to use any more for the moment. Therefore, I was stuck stitching Mello's face.

"Uncle Mello, Mother is being as gentle as she can." Lewis put a hand on Mello's arm. "Please don't move."

"What kind of a sadistic kid is he?" Mello exclaimed, pulling his arm away from Lewis' grasp. "How can he enjoy to see people being sewed up?"

"I don't particularly enjoy it. I just feel it may be valuable knowledge later." Lewis explained, his face expressionless.

"Gods… he sounds just like Near…" Mello took another handful of M&M's. "Why can't you at least get me decent chocolate?"

I just stared at him in anger, my patience beginning to fade.

"Mello, stay still and let me do this. I haven't even finished disinfecting your wounds! I can't imagine just how much you'll cry when I start stitching!" That did it.

"I don't cry." Mello said, sitting up, his eyes narrowing. "I am not a fucking girl."

"Watch that language! And if you are half the man you say you are, then lie down, shut up and let me finish this!"

He looked at me, thinking. He knew I was saying that just to make him behave, but still, he was itching to prove me wrong.

"Fine." He lay down and closed his arms over his chest. I used the antiseptic to clean his wounds, then grabbed the sterilized needle and suture. Holding the wound closed, I made a stitch through the skin, doing my best to put the edges of the wound closed together. It wasn't a pleasant job. I was being as gentle as I could, but I knew Mello was in pain. However, this time he didn't move or complain. I decided I needed to use the same tactic more often… It was effective.

I worked as fast as I could, but nevertheless I was going slowly. I was doing my best to be precise, to make the stitches tight to keep the wound close, but not overly so, because that would cause Mello discomfort. Plus, the thought of what I was doing made me get a queasy feeling in my stomach. I was sewing through Mello's skin. Sweat began to gather in my brow, and I felt faint, but I got a hold of myself and gave it my best.

After nearly an hour, I completed the closure and covered the wound with sterile gauze, then taped it to the skin. It would keep the area clean.

"I'll check it daily for signs of infection." I told Mello. "Be as clean as you can, because if it gets infected, I'll have to remove the stitches to drain the infected site."

"Yeah, yeah. Got it." He sat up and touched the gauze pad.

"Mello… I could try and heal…" I began, but he interrupted me.

"No. If Kira writes your name in the Death Note and manages to beat you, we'll be unable to kill him. We need to be prepared. Didn't you learn anything from the surprise attack that destroyed the Mafia headquarters?" Mello snapped. I didn't answer, but gave him a dirty look. I didn't really think Light would write my name right now. He didn't know just how weak I was.

"Whatever. It's your face, not mine. Endure all the pain you want."

Mello snorted and directed a dirty look at Lewis, who was still observing attentively.

"Learnt something useful, kid?" He asked coldly.

"Yes. A lot." Lewis was smiling.

"The boy gives me the creeps." Mello said going out of the room. I sighed.

"He's hard to manage, but don't worry, Lewis. You know that, in reality, he is charmed by you."

Lewis' eyes were laughing.

"I know, Mother. You know? I really like Uncle Mello. He's cool."

---  
Lewis was reading about surgical stitches when Mother came in, her face red and with an expression of pure loathing.

"I'm going to the park with my sketch pad. Wanna come?" She asked.

"Of course!" Lewis jumped up and ran for his jacket.

Uncle Mello had been annoying Mother all day. Among other things, he had complained about the food, tossed his underwear around, and made stupid jokes. He tried to boss her around, gave Lewis a twenty he got out of Mother's wallet, trying to get him to go outside and bring him 'a decent chocolate bar, not this rubbish'. Mother had endured it all patiently, but then, enough was enough. She exploded, and Lewis could practically see five dragon heads sprouting from her neck. It was a scary experience, and even Uncle Mello was subdued. He was meek and polite, until Uncle Matt came back with five huge boxes of chocolate bars. Mello grabbed one and ran to barricade himself in Uncle Matt's room, and nothing could make him come out. Mother went downstairs to the living room and lay down on the couch, exhausted, and looked out the window. The sky had begun to rain M&M's.

She ran outside with Lewis on her heels and saw Uncle Mello emptying the huge M&M's bag out the window. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. Lewis saw she was about to explode again, so he ran inside, grabbed his medicine book and began to read as if his life depended on it. Mother was never unfair, or took out her anger on him, but then again, he had never seen her in this mood. Uncle Mello must be really bored… or was trying to commit suicide in a totally new way.

Uncle Matt, Mother and Lewis piled out of the car. Mother seemed to have cooled off a little, but nevertheless both Matt and Lewis were careful around her. Without a word, she put on her headphones, turned on her iPod, and sat on a bench. She began to sketch.

Uncle Matt went to another bench and sat down, then took out a cigarette and lit it.

"God, I needed this." He said, smiling. Lewis gave him an ugly look.

"I'm not sure you should be doing that." He tried to take the cigarette from Matt's hand.

"We're outside. It's legal." Matt kept his cigarette out of Lewis' reach. "Why don't you go play?" He motioned with his other hand towards the nearby playground. Lewis directed his attention to it.

Other five kids, a little older than him, were playing there. They seemed to be chasing each other around.

"I've never played with kids my age." Lewis thought, and smiled. "It might prove interesting." He walked towards them.

"Hi! Wanna play?" a girl asked in a friendly tone when he smiled at her. Lewis nodded, feeling a knot in his throat. She was cute… With huge grey eyes and waist-long black hair.

"Sure." Lewis finally found his voice. "What are we playing?"

"secret treasure!" She said, excitedly. "Know how to play?"

Lewis shook his head no.

"One of us has to hide a doll." She showed him a Gaara plushie. "The first one to find it wins."

"And?" asked, Lewis, waiting for her to continue.

"And what?" She was puzzled.

"That's all?" He was disappointed.

"Yes."

Lewis thought for a moment. It didn't sound fun at all. A second boy, taller than Lewis, appeared beside the girl. He said nothing, he just looked at Lewis questioningly.

"What is the objective? Where is the intellectual stimulus? Is there a lesson?" He was starting to get slightly desperate.

"Are you insulting my sister?" The boy said, raising his fists.

"No…" How come they didn't understand what he was saying?" I am just asking in what way does this game benefit the connections between neurons and the cranial…" Lewis saw a confused expression in the boy's face. He wasn't following him at all.

"What the hell?" The boy asked. "What kind of a freak are you?"

There. The most primitive form of self-protection at something man was unable to understand, attack. In this case, it began with insults. They could have been speaking completely different languages.

"You know what? I'm leaving." Lewis turned around and went back to Uncle Matt. With a glance over his shoulder, he saw the girl shrug and drag her brother back into the game. They all looked so happy… in a minute, the boy had forgotten all about Lewis and was laughing with the others. Lewis felt a yearning to belong to the group.

"What's the matter, kiddo?" Uncle Matt asked as Lewis sat beside him.

"Uncle Matt… why don't they understand me?" Lewis asked, looking at Matt with big, sorrowful eyes.

Matt blinked for a second, then understanding dawned in his face. He remembered long ago, when he had also had trouble getting along with other kids his age.

"Your intellectual development is way before theirs. It will sound foreign to you, but at that stage, other children confuse fantasy with reality, and express anger with some kind of violence. They don't think it out like you do, Lewis. Intellectually, they know the basic colours and most are just beginning to read."

Lewis gave Matt a disbelieving look.

"I know it sounds crazy, but they are like that." He smiled at Lewis. "That doesn't mean they are stupid. It's just that you are simply too smart. I know it's hard sometimes, and your brain might seem like a hindrance, but you are privileged." He ruffled Lewis' hair. "You also have a duty, kiddo. Help make this world better."

Lewis shook his head.

But Uncle Matt… How am I going to find someone to be my friend? People that will understand me? That won't think I'm a freak? I don't want to be lonely!" Lewis sounded desperate.

"Are you lonely right now?" Matt asked, lighting another cigarette.

"No, but…"

"And why aren't you lonely?"

"Well, because I have you, and Mother, and now Uncle Mello." Lewis frowned.

"I'm going to say something, and I hope you won't think I'm being disrespectful. Do you think your mother is as smart as you?"

Lewis looked at the floor, his face burning. Mother was smart, she certainly wasn't stupid, but…

"No…" He whispered. "That doesn't mean she's stupid, though!" He looked up at Matt in a way that seemed to dare him to say otherwise.

"She's very smart, but she definitely isn't as smart as Mello, Near, your father or you. Still, why do you think the relationship between us is so good?"

Lewis shrugged, adverting his gaze from Matt's.

"It's because, although she might not understand some things about science, and she might miss some details and outcomes, among other things, we understand what really matters, and we are the same in the important things." Uncle Matt looked at Mother. "In fact, I'm prepared to say that you mother understands those things even better than we do." He chuckled. "She might seem lost and completely oblivious sometimes, but in the end…"

Lewis smiled.

"I understand, Uncle Matt. I feel better now."

---  
There. I know I have been lazy, so… Today, I'm posting up two chapters! This one wasn't much, but the next one… It's a bit mayor. I'll just finish up the final details, and I'll post it. Well, I'll hurry with that…


	19. Lewis' Prank

  
Adults were so amusing. They really thought they could hide it from him. However, he could see it, in the way they whispered, how Mother looked at him as if she might never do it again, how Uncle Mello ate even more chocolate bars.

"Lewis, Matt will come back later to give you dinner. Be good. Watch some TV and read. Don't do anything dumb, ok?" Mother said bending over and kissing him. "I love you, Lewis."

"I love you too, Mother. Take care on your mission. Come back safely." He gave her an angelical smile, one she would have normally been suspicious of. Whenever Lewis gave that angelical smile, he was planning something. However, she was too worried to notice. Good. She didn't even realize he had said 'mission' instead of 'lunch with friends'. She had even lied to him. Jeez.

"I will. Be good." She smiled at him, ruffled his hair and left after Uncle Mello.

"Well kiddo, I have to leave. Be good." Uncle Matt said, and went towards the garage. Every adult in the household asked him to be good. Well, he would obey. Since Mother was going to be Uncle Mello's backup, he'd be Uncle Matt's, and taking care of his uncle counted as good, did it not? Uncle Matt stopped and turned, going back to his room. Lewis knew he was going for his secret stash of cigarettes, now Mother wasn't looking. This was is chance to get into this mission. He went to the car and unlocked the back seat, so it would open when he pushed it. Then he got inside the trunk of the car beside a box. He did it in the nick of time, because soon afterwards he heard Uncle Matt getting in the car and turning on the engine. He waited.

About twenty minutes later, he decided it was time. He pushed the seat.

"Surprise, Uncle Matt!" he shouted, coming out.

"Lewis!" Uncle Matt exclaimed. However, he didn't sound pleased. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to be your partner in crime!" Lewis exclaimed happily. "I'll be your backup."

"Lewis… this isn't good. I can't take you back, and I can't leave you here. You'd get lost." He hit the steering wheel with a fist. "Why don't you think of your actions?"

"What's so wrong about me coming?" Lewis asked angrily. "You never explain anything to me. At least nothing that matters." He jumped from the backseat to the passenger's seat and fastened his seatbelt.

"This was a secret plan. You know about Kira, right?" Uncle Matt asked, suddenly serious. Lewis nodded.

"How could I not? He held me captive once, remember?"

"Yes. We're going to try to stop him, and for that, we will kidnap one of his followers. It is a dangerous situation. There is a possibility that we could get killed. We wanted to protect you from that, and you could ruin it with such a prank! Now you understand why I'm mad at you?"

"Yes." Lewis said, suddenly serious. "I understand my actions were foolish. However, I was aware of the dangers from before. I heard you planning, Uncle Matt, and decided that I would come to be your backup, just in case." He felt a trickle of fear run down his spine. "I'm sorry, Uncle Matt. Still, it was something I had to do."

"Lewis, this isn't a game where you can come with me to kill the bad guys. This is real life. Honestly. Why can't you take anything seriously? Damn your mother's genes. You should have gotten more of your father's." Uncle Matt ruffled Lewis' hair, and Lewis knew he was teasing. Uncle Matt more than liked Mother. He would never damn Mother's genes seriously. "Don't be afraid. I'll protect you with my life."

"Thank you, uncle Matt. I promise I'll never do such a foolish thing again." Of course Lewis was lying, and he didn't ask the question that plagued his mind. "If you protect me with your life, who will protect yours?"

Uncle Matt smiled at him, and Lewis saw he had a cigarette on the corner of his mouth.

"This is not acceptable." He said, and grabbed the cigarette. He tossed it out his window.

"Hey! You stowed away in the car, so you can at least let me smoke without telling your mother!"

A few minutes later, Uncle Matt grew serious again.

"We're almost there. Go to the trunk and open the box inside. There is a small bullet-proof vest here. Your mother had it made for you, just in case, and as always, she forgot to get it out of the trunk. Put it on." Lewis nodded and did as he was told. "Stay in the backseat, as low as you can. Close your eyes and don't move. Make as little a target as you can."

Lewis curled into a ball behind Uncle Matt's seat and closed his eyes. He didn't want to be hidden, however, he knew for the moment he could do nothing more.

He heard shouting and smelled smoke. Uncle Matt began driving very fast. He couldn't see it but he heard it in the motor. He began to get very nervous. Suddenly, adventure didn't sound as good. The possibility of dying, or of seeing Uncle Matt die, now hit him full force.

It seemed an eternity before the car stopped.

"Lewis, we're in a tight situation here." Uncle Matt whispered. "Whatever you see, be brave."

"Get out of the car!" a hostile voice shouted.

"Wait!" shouted Matt before getting out of the car. "I'll get out of the car, but please listen to this! There is a child inside. I kidnapped him earlier. However, I don't want him to get killed."

There was a pause. Then, the hostile voice shouted:

"Send the kid out. If you try anything funny, we'll open fire."

"Lewis, get out." Uncle Matt ordered coldly.

"What about you, Uncle Matt?" Lewis asked in a small voice.

"Don't worry. The real danger is your mother. If something happened to you, hell would seem like a happy place compared to what she'll put me through. Go on, kiddo."

Lewis opened the door slowly and stepped out. He gasped. The car was surrounded by police cars and people with guns. It didn't look good for his uncle. One of the men motioned for him to go over. He shook his head.

"Uncle Matt, I'm staying." Lewis whispered.

"No, you won't stay. Go." There was something in Uncle Matt's voice that made Lewis move towards the man who motioned to him. As he moved away from his uncle, he heard him say "Tell your mother I love her."

Lewis stopped. Once again, he observed the other men's faces. He knew they would shoot the moment he was out of danger. He decided to use a tool no one else knew he had. He walked back to the car.

"Hey, kid! Don't be scared, come this way!" A man shouted. "I will protect you!"

"Uncle Matt, you said you'd protect me with your life. I'll protect you with mine." Lewis smiled at his Uncle, and the resemblance to his mother was impressive. The spark in the eyes, the dimple in the right cheek, the slight cocking of the head. Then, he fell to the floor.

"Lewis!"

Instantly, Matt heard the sound of guns being pointed. The men that surrounded him turned around and the leaders began to shout orders. Everything was in a chaos, but Takada's guards weren't paying any attention to him, thank God. Guns began to get fired, but not at him. He opened the car door, keeping as low as he could, and grabbed Lewis. He pulled the little boy into the car and drove straight ahead. He slammed another car out of the way. He concentrated on driving, on getting as far away as he could. After ten minutes, Lewis still hadn't moved. He was breathing, he could feel it as the child lay on his lap. However, he was deathly cold. What had happened back there? Was it any of his doing? And how?

"Stupid kid. If you had walked away, like I told you to, you would be ok. What were you thinking?" Matt asked as he ruffled the child's sweaty hair. "Your mother is definitely going to kill me."

Matt drove into a deserted area, where he found a second car. He got the keys and carried Lewis to it. He put him in the backseat and covered him in his vest, trying to get him to warm up a little. The child had lost so much colour, he was as pale as a ghost, and he had trouble breathing. Matt was terrified. He didn't know what to do with Lewis, and it was evident that he was dying. However, he couldn't do anything here. He drove back home as fast as he could. What had Lewis done?

"Hurry up. I have to get back and give my son dinner." I told Mello as he turned on the engine.

"Calm down. You told Matt to hurry so he could give him dinner. And anyway, he's mature enough to at least prepare himself some cereal. Stop overreacting."

I sighed and turned on the TV in the truck. I changed the channel until I found the news. I gasped as I saw Matt's car on the screen, with a small figure standing beside it. The image was too zoomed out for me to tell, but I knew instinctively.

"Lewis! What is Lewis doing beside Matt?! What is he doing there? Mello…" I was left speechless. "He must have disobeyed me." I observed the scene. The camera zoomed in and I saw I was right, it was Lewis. The danger of this was terrible. The resemblance to L was impressive, and if Light or any of the detectives watched this, they'd know he was in LA, something I had desperately tried to avoid. However, the worst danger were the guns pointed from all angles at him, the light of my life. I had to save him. As I watched, Lewis fell to the floor, unconscious. The guards around him began to shout, and guns were fired, though not at Lewis or Matt.

"What's happening?" Mello asked, surprised. I shook my head in disbelief.

"The little…" I felt the panic creeping over me. I was doing my best to keep calm, to think, when all I wanted to do was throw myself out of the trucks window and grow a pair of wings, then fly full speed towards my son.

Mello was quiet, thinking. Then, he stopped the truck and grabbed the gun.

"I can finish with the plan by myself. You go rescue your kid."

We got off and he unlocked the back door where Takada was. She tried to run out but I grabbed her by the arm and shoved her inside.

"I don't have the time to catch you if you escape. I'm going to save my son. Be good, or I swear I'll break both your legs and make you suffer." I was positively furious. I was terrified of Light. It was evident Lewis was connected somehow to L. If he caught him… He would kill him… If he wasn't dead already. Why had he fallen to the floor, seemingly unconscious? Had he been shot?

"Take care, Mello. I want to see you later, back home." I said as I hugged him. "Make sure she doesn't try anything. I really want to see you again, and she's a dangerous bitch." I felt terrible about leaving him, but Matt would need my help. I kissed Mello's cheek, feeling some strange force telling me not to leave him. However, as much as I loved Mello, Lewis was first.

"Stop being such a sentimental fool. Good luck." He whispered, and I jumped back on the bike. I sped off.

---  
There! Today's second chapter is done!

I simply COULDN'T let Matt die… Much less in front of Lewis' eyes… I love Lewis. He's so real to me… I couldn't give him such a traumatic experience. Plus, I can't really picture the rest of the story without Matt… He's a necessity. Nilla would break down completely without him, and I don't want that. I love Matt.

Well, anyway… leave a comment on this chapter! I MIGHT post yet another one if I'm in the mood, and if I finish the details in a way that makes me happy.


	20. A Field Of Silver And Gold

I drove back to the city with such speed I almost crashed countless times. Sozoumeshi or not, I was sure one of those would have finished me off, but I didn't care. I needed to get to Lewis, now, and needed all the energy I could get. Although wings would have been faster, they would spend energy that could mean life or death to my son. If they had gotten out of that alive, they would be back home by now. I headed that way.

It seemed like ages, but at last I was there. I put the bike in the garage, locked everything and sped up the stairs to Lewis' room.

"Lewis! Matt! Are you home?"

"Over here." I heard Matt's voice, tired, scared and defeated… It was the first time I'd heard such pain coming from him, my source of strength. It gave me a chill. I ran towards it. I opened the door and saw my eyes landed on Matt, who knelt beside the bed. On the bed lay Lewis, drenched in sweat, but at the same time shivering. He was very pale, paler even than his father had ever been. Still, I saw he was breathing, although not for long. I felt like breaking apart completely, but the very thought of my son laughing again kept me going.

"I don't know what to do… I know nothing of what's wrong with him…" Matt said, his goggles on the floor, his hands running through his hair. "All his symptoms contradict each other… I've checked him and it's insane! His body is…" he broke off. I could tell he was about to lose it.

"Calm down, Matt. I know what to do." I smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. For the first time, I was the strong one, while Matt was breaking down. Ordinarily, this would have scared me so much I would probably done something stupid. However, this time, the stakes were too high.

_Lewis…_

I recognized his symptoms. Once, when I'd overdone it at training with Mello, I had fainted. Later, he told me I was cold as ice but sweating uncontrollably, little by little losing colour. Mello had been sure I was about to die. Lewis… did he also have Sozoumeshi powers? Had he used them to save Matt back there? Was this even possible?

"Come." I pulled Matt to the kitchen. "Help me."

I grabbed some oranges and told Matt to make orange juice. He gave me a puzzled look, but obeyed. I grabbed a glass and poured water on it. I put several spoonfuls of sugar inside and dissolved it.

"Take me the juice as soon as it's done." I ordered Matt, who nodded. I ran back to Lewis' room, drinking the sugary water in one gulp and knelt beside Lewis. I grabbed his wrists in my hands and began transferring my energy to him. Slowly, gently, trying to maintain the balance in his body.

"Come on, Lewis. Stay with me. Come on..." I kept on doing this until Matt came with the juice. I drank it fast and went back to transferring my energy to Lewis.

"I need more juice, Matt." I said. "Please make more."

"I'll need to go buy oranges. We don't have any left. I'll go as fast as I can."

"If you find any kind of instant protein solution, bring it too." I shouted after him.

Since Lewis needed energy, I was giving him mine, while I took simple carbohydrates, which are nutrients that provide energy and are absorbed easily by the body. Like this, I hoped my body would make more energy so I could give it to Lewis. I hoped this would work… and that this really was what was wrong with Lewis… But he looked just as Mello had described me that time, when I asked him later. That's why he kept giving me ice cream and sweets, since my body seemed to turn them very rapidly into energy. I didn't know if Lewis' would work that way, so I let my body do the converting and I just passed it to him. However, I could feel my battery was beginning to run low. My body wasn't absorbing fast enough. That worried me.

I sang to him as I worked hoping to bring him back to me. I got no response.

Matt came back and we alternated between glasses of different juices and protein.

"Come on, Kiddo. You don't want your mother to hit me, do you?" Matt asked Lewis playfully.

"Stop acting as if I'm some terrible person, because I'm not. I hit you only when you deserve it." I told Matt, smiling. Lewis always laughed when he heard us 'quarrel'. However, our voices were strained, there was an edge of panic in them that we simply couldn't hide.

_Lewis…_

We spent all night like this, singing to him, talking to him, and hoping. For a moment it seemed as if he had lost even more colour. His skin was almost transparent. I could barely keep from crying when I saw it. My dear baby boy was going to die. I couldn't save him… Matt began to give him juice in small spoonfuls and rubbing his neck to make it go down. He could see I was beginning to get exhausted. I kept talking to him, giving him juice, urging him to be strong. After a few hours, around dawn, the little light that remained in his face disappeared. I couldn't see him breathe any more.

I began to really panic now. I concentrated more on giving him energy, and didn't feel Matt's hands until he had dragged me away from Lewis.

"Nilla, stop it… It's useless, and you're almost as pale as he is! You keep this up, you'll die, too!"

"Let me go, Matt! I'll give him the lasts of my energy even if it kills me!" I tried to shove him away, but he was too strong.

"He doesn't have a pulse anymore, Nilla…" He was hugging me tightly. "Face it… we've lost him…" Tears were falling down his face. "Please… don't…"

"He's not lost!" I interrupted. "He's right here! Let me…"

"No!" He was holding me so tightly, he was hurting me. I did my best to get out of his grasp, but I was unable to. I didn't care if I had to give my life for Lewis, as long as he lived, and was happy, and grew up…

"Please… There's nothing you can do anymore… and if you die…" Matt's tears were falling on my hair, my neck. "I don't want to be alone… Please don't be foolish… Please don't abandon me…"

The pain in Matt's voice was terrible. How had it come to this? Why did I have to choose between my son and…

I looked at Lewis and gasped. He had some colour, although he was still pale, and the light of life was back to his face. What the hell had just happened?

"Mother?"

His eyes were open. He looked so weak, it seemed as if he was made of glass.

Matt let me go and ran to Lewis, getting there before I did.

"You idiot! What the fucking hell did you think you were doing? What kind of a goddamn…" He was hugging Lewis tightly, stroking his hair. It was at that moment that I really realized just how much Matt loved Lewis, and just how worried he'd been.

I joined them, sitting on the bed at Lewis' other side.

"Lewis!" I hugged him tightly, hissing him all over the face, the hair, his little hands, his arms, and lastly his little feet. He laughed.

"That tickles." he climbed onto my lap. "Uncle Matt! What was that swearing?"

"You gave me a real scare, kid." Matt smiled at him, and I could see the relief in his face. "You're the worst."

I hit Lewis' head gently. "I should kill you. You don't know how panicked I was when I saw you surrounded by thugs with guns on TV." I smiled at him. "What happened, anyway? What did you do?"

Lewis suddenly looked guilty.

"I… I have this sort of… ability… I hadn't told you about before…"

"I can see that. Spit it out."

Lewis sighed.

"You all go on and on about how smart I am, but whenever we're dealing with something important, you treat me like a complete idiot. You thought I wouldn't notice you were planning something, but I did! I knew about Takada, I knew about Light, I knew it all! You are not too smart about keeping this stuff secret." He'd seemed angry at first, then a smug expression came over his features. "However, I am pretty good at keeping secrets. Ever since I was little…"

"You're still little. You're only five." Matt pointed out. Lewis silenced him with an ugly look.

"Fine. Ever since I was younger, I realized I could create illusions. If I concentrated, I could make people see whatever I wanted them to see. It used a lot of energy, but I began to strengthen the ability and found ways to make myself strong enough to use it for greater periods of time. I became pretty good at it." Lewis smiled proudly, and I was glad to see no arrogance in him. He was just happy because of his accomplishments. "I didn't want to tell you about it… I thought you'd see me as a freak, or something… strange…" He looked at the floor.

"Lewis, we'd never think you are a freak, or that you are something strange." I kissed the tip of his nose. "We love you."

"I can see that now. I was foolish… But that was the way I felt at the moment. However, I heard you talk about the Sozoumeshi one day and asked Uncle Mello about it. He told me everything… And I felt a little better. However, I didn't tell him about my power." Lewis sighed. "Tonight, as I went out of the car, I was frustrated. I saw Uncle Matt was going to get killed, and that he was doing his best to save me… I wanted to save him too! So I created an illusion in all of the other guys' brains. They thought a Yakuza band was attacking them… they forgot about Uncle and me. But… as I was working on the illusion… I suddenly found myself in a field of silver and gold flowers. It was beautiful… the sun was shining on me, and a cool breeze seemed to caress my face. It was so peaceful…" Lewis was smiling. "I looked at my body and it seemed to be transparent, I was like a ghost. I could hear your voice, but it was fading. I saw a tree and a figure lying underneath it. I walked to him and saw instantly he was…"

He paused, and seemed hesitant.

"He was what?" I pressed on.

"He was Father. I met him there, Mother."

I didn't even blink. I just looked at Lewis, waiting for him to say it was all a joke, that he hadn't seen Lawliett, or that he had been dreaming, or something. This was crazy. He must have been imagining things. Yeah, that was it…

"How did you know it was Father?" I asked, swallowing hard.

"He looked a lot like me… and, also… I don't know, it was instinctive, Mother. I just knew it was him. He was sleeping under the tree. I just stood there, staring at him, wondering if I should wake him, when his eyes opened. He looked at me and blinked, then gasped. He sat up and asked me who I was. I told him I was Lawliett Jeevas, and I was his son. He got very red for a second, but then went pale again and I was sure I had imagined it. He asked me if you were my mother and I said yes. He seemed very shocked to find he had a son." Lewis laughed. "He had such a funny face. I sat under the tree beside him and we talked a little. He asked me about you, and if Kira had been caught yet. I answered his questions and asked some of my own. He said we were at Hiron, but didn't specify where that was. I couldn't get much more out of him. He's weird… but I liked him. He gave me some advice for when I became his successor. I began asking him something else, but suddenly he jumped up and told me to look at my hands. They looked solid, not ghostly any more. He grabbed me by the hand and ran with me back to the field. He gave me some directions and told me to go, or I would never be able to get back to you. As I was leaving, he gave me a message for you, Mother… he said you should hurry, that your time is almost up, and that he's waiting for you." Lewis finished.

"What did that mean?" Matt asked, puzzled.

"Nothing. No offence, Lewis, but I think you might have imagined that." I stroked his hair, hoping he wasn't mad because I didn't believe him. However, it was too fantastic…

"Father thought you'd probably say that, so he gave me this." Lewis reached into his pocket and took something out. Lavender flowers. "He said you'd understand, because that is where I came from. What did that mean?"

I was shocked the moment I saw them. I loved Lavender… in fact, the night before L died and I gave him the massage, the candles, the oil, everything, was lavender-scented… and, in a way, Lewis had certainly come from there… I just sat there, looking at Lewis in shock, the colour rising to my face. Gods…

It was real. It had to be real. The lavender was a very small detail, but one Ryuuzaki would have certainly noticed. I wondered about it.

"Mother, I'm tired… do you mind if I sleep some more?" Lewis asked, yawning. I shook my head no, and kissed him as he got inside the covers. In a second he was asleep. Matt and I went out of the room.

"What was that?" Matt asked, puzzled, rubbing his temples. He looked exhausted.

"I don't know… It is too much to digest… However, I didn't know… I'd never imagined… that Lewis would have Sozoumeshi powers… It feels so…" I yawned. "Matt, let's also get some sleep. We can think about this tomorrow."


End file.
